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Yeah, that's what its like when you first start out. Set yourself a timer, say one minute, and continue to try for that whole minute. Record your results I suggest, but even if you don't that's also fine. After that minute is up, no longer think about your practice, do not judge yourself in any way, simply do it. You may practice more than once a day, preferably at regular and repeatable times.
When i first tried to quiet my mind completely, I could not do it either. It took several months for me to be able to do it (or, 'not-do' it) for even ten seconds because I would get distracted by some other interesting practice or book and forget to practice for a week at a time. It's taken years to be able to sit with a silent mind for more than 30 minutes, and I only recently am able to not go to sleep. I started trying first when i was 14. It has been ten years. If I had not been so distracted in that decade of exploration, it might only have taken two.
You are perfectly normal, you are not deficient in any way. Sit your @$$ down and practice, or you will still be complaining like this in ten years, or worse, you'll be another cog in the machine, dreaming of a time that you believed greater things were possible.
Here is an interesting story to contemplate:
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"Encho was a famous storyteller. His tales of love stirred the hearts of his listeners. When he narrated a story of war, it was as if the listeners themselves were in the field of battle.
One day Encho met Yamaoka Tesshu, a layman who had almost embraced masterhood of Zen. "I understand," said Yamaoka, "you are the best storyteller in our land and that you make people cry or laugh at will. Tell me my favorite story of the Peach Boy. When I was a little tot I used to sleep beside my mother, and she often related this legend. In the middle of the story I would fall asleep. Tell it to me just as my mother did."
Encho dared not attempt this. He requested time to study. Several months later he went to Yamaoka and said: "Please give me the opportunity to tell you the story."
"Some other day," answered Yamaoka.
Encho was keenly disappointed. He studied further and tried again. Yamaoka rejected him many times. When Encho would start to talk Yamaoka would stop him, saying: "You are not yet like my mother."
It took Encho five years to be able to tell Yamaoka the legend as his mother had told it to him.
In this way, Yamaoka imparted Zen to Encho."
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peace
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The world is complicated - that which makes it up is elegantly simplistic, but infinitely versatile.
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Ki Exersizes
davisxmonster Ki Exersizes Jan 6 2009, 09:24 PM
Jan 6 2009, 09:24 PM
