Ki Exersizes Options

I always thought i was good at sensing ki, (I dont see it, i dont hear it, i just have a sense that it is there) I guess im not

And i was trying to move a pencil as a mental exersize.

at first i tried a zero point technique, got nowhere.
I heard you can switch on your astral senses by flipping a switch in your mind. i dont think it worked.
then i tried a bit of empathy with the pencil, felt it with my mind, then i started to notice visual distortions, dont think its magical energy (You know when its dark and you space out for a while and then you see a bunch of flashing specks in the air and everything has a thin outline?)
Then i tried telling it to move with my mind
then yelling at it to move with my mind
pushing it with my mind.

I dont know how this is relevant to my question other than as an example of where im at.

but what are the best ki/energy control meditations/ exercises?

Ive been doing the middle pillar and circulation of light almost daily (The light goes in your crown energy center.)
and i used to do chakra meditations (The energy goes up your base center, different no?)

but i dont know if ive gotten anywhere?

When i clear my mind you say that time ceases to exist

that it is bliss (From a different source than you (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif))

And that you will chose when to think.

well i wonder.

isnt your mind composed of reflections of images, memories, and preceptions?

when i meditate and am supposed to reach this state you say. It never happens.

instead time slows down and i am assulted by every memory and every thing i have ever thought of.

I try to be like water and dodge it

i try to be like a mirror and leti t bounce off

But it feels awkward.

Trying to silence your mind

to make a burning candle by nature as still as a pond.

Isnt that what is supposed to happen?

Or do you have to in sense completely rework your mind so that it is a pond by nature instead of a candle?