Ki Exersizes Options

I always thought i was good at sensing ki, (I dont see it, i dont hear it, i just have a sense that it is there) I guess im not

And i was trying to move a pencil as a mental exersize.

at first i tried a zero point technique, got nowhere.
I heard you can switch on your astral senses by flipping a switch in your mind. i dont think it worked.
then i tried a bit of empathy with the pencil, felt it with my mind, then i started to notice visual distortions, dont think its magical energy (You know when its dark and you space out for a while and then you see a bunch of flashing specks in the air and everything has a thin outline?)
Then i tried telling it to move with my mind
then yelling at it to move with my mind
pushing it with my mind.

I dont know how this is relevant to my question other than as an example of where im at.

but what are the best ki/energy control meditations/ exercises?

Ive been doing the middle pillar and circulation of light almost daily (The light goes in your crown energy center.)
and i used to do chakra meditations (The energy goes up your base center, different no?)

but i dont know if ive gotten anywhere?

When i clear my mind you say that time ceases to exist

that it is bliss (From a different source than you (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif))

And that you will chose when to think.

well i wonder.

isnt your mind composed of reflections of images, memories, and preceptions?

when i meditate and am supposed to reach this state you say. It never happens.

instead time slows down and i am assulted by every memory and every thing i have ever thought of.

I try to be like water and dodge it

i try to be like a mirror and leti t bounce off

But it feels awkward.

Trying to silence your mind

to make a burning candle by nature as still as a pond.

Isnt that what is supposed to happen?

Or do you have to in sense completely rework your mind so that it is a pond by nature instead of a candle?

When i clear my mind you say that time ceases to exist

that it is bliss (From a different source than you (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif))

And that you will chose when to think.

well i wonder.

isnt your mind composed of reflections of images, memories, and preceptions?

when i meditate and am supposed to reach this state you say. It never happens.

instead time slows down and i am assulted by every memory and every thing i have ever thought of.

I try to be like water and dodge it

i try to be like a mirror and leti t bounce off

But it feels awkward.

Trying to silence your mind

to make a burning candle by nature as still as a pond.

Isnt that what is supposed to happen?

Or do you have to in sense completely rework your mind so that it is a pond by nature instead of a candle?

It's only been a week. I already told you, it takes time, regular and diligent practice.

Don't identify with your mind. You are not your mind. Who cares what your mind is composed of now, are you going to let it be in charge, this illusiory collection of memes you've been programmed with your whole life, or are you going to be in charge?

Yes, the mind is like a wild horse that has to be tamed. At first it will buck, it will run from you, it will make noise and distract you, but like a horse trainer you simply have to be like a rock, do not bend, do not give up, be patient and continue practice. Eventually the mind will obey.

You are not reqorking your mind, you are unworking your mind. Right now it is not a tool, it is you, you identify with it. You may know, or think, intellectually, that you are not really your mind, but the rest of you does not agree with that, and has had no proof. You have not been shown the proof you need that you are not your mind - therefore you naturally identify it as yourself. It is not a failing unless it is a human failing, we all start out this way once we have been programmed to think.

The problem is that your will then gets wound up in your mind, and you lose it - you are distracted by your own thoughts and are unable to find your will. You know how to 'push with your mind', but the mind can only imagine things. When your mind is still, you'll discover your Will. Not the 'true will' of the thelemites, just Will, the mechanism. Until you find it, you can't use it.

Keep working on it. A week is not enough time to master it. In the mean time, keep learning other things too. Don't focus just on this one practice. This is something you can do every day at the same times on a regular basis while you go about the rest of your life. The only fast track here is to sit and wait for it to happen, for as long as it takes. I don't think you have the willpower for that, so there is no point in trying. You probably wouldn't last half and hour, if that. So, take the long road. Regular practice every day. Ignore everything that happens - any sensations, any thoughts, any wild bucking of the mind. The mind is a lie, don't believe it. The slowness will be excruciating. Your own impatience will be almost painful. Still, only sit and meditate, do so every day. I promise you, without any doubt whatsoever, if you practice diligently every day, regardless of what you think is happening when you do, then eventually you will learn to still the mind and be comfortable in that silence.

If you are not ready for this, admit you are not ready, and wait until later on in life. There is plenty of study to be done in the meantime.

peace