Ki Exersizes Options

I always thought i was good at sensing ki, (I dont see it, i dont hear it, i just have a sense that it is there) I guess im not

And i was trying to move a pencil as a mental exersize.

at first i tried a zero point technique, got nowhere.
I heard you can switch on your astral senses by flipping a switch in your mind. i dont think it worked.
then i tried a bit of empathy with the pencil, felt it with my mind, then i started to notice visual distortions, dont think its magical energy (You know when its dark and you space out for a while and then you see a bunch of flashing specks in the air and everything has a thin outline?)
Then i tried telling it to move with my mind
then yelling at it to move with my mind
pushing it with my mind.

I dont know how this is relevant to my question other than as an example of where im at.

but what are the best ki/energy control meditations/ exercises?

Ive been doing the middle pillar and circulation of light almost daily (The light goes in your crown energy center.)
and i used to do chakra meditations (The energy goes up your base center, different no?)

but i dont know if ive gotten anywhere?

When i clear my mind you say that time ceases to exist

that it is bliss (From a different source than you (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif))

And that you will chose when to think.

well i wonder.

isnt your mind composed of reflections of images, memories, and preceptions?

when i meditate and am supposed to reach this state you say. It never happens.

instead time slows down and i am assulted by every memory and every thing i have ever thought of.

I try to be like water and dodge it

i try to be like a mirror and leti t bounce off

But it feels awkward.

Trying to silence your mind

to make a burning candle by nature as still as a pond.

Isnt that what is supposed to happen?

Or do you have to in sense completely rework your mind so that it is a pond by nature instead of a candle?

When i clear my mind you say that time ceases to exist

that it is bliss (From a different source than you (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif))

And that you will chose when to think.

well i wonder.

isnt your mind composed of reflections of images, memories, and preceptions?

when i meditate and am supposed to reach this state you say. It never happens.

instead time slows down and i am assulted by every memory and every thing i have ever thought of.

I try to be like water and dodge it

i try to be like a mirror and leti t bounce off

But it feels awkward.

Trying to silence your mind

to make a burning candle by nature as still as a pond.

Isnt that what is supposed to happen?

Or do you have to in sense completely rework your mind so that it is a pond by nature instead of a candle?

It's only been a week. I already told you, it takes time, regular and diligent practice.

Don't identify with your mind. You are not your mind. Who cares what your mind is composed of now, are you going to let it be in charge, this illusiory collection of memes you've been programmed with your whole life, or are you going to be in charge?

Yes, the mind is like a wild horse that has to be tamed. At first it will buck, it will run from you, it will make noise and distract you, but like a horse trainer you simply have to be like a rock, do not bend, do not give up, be patient and continue practice. Eventually the mind will obey.

You are not reqorking your mind, you are unworking your mind. Right now it is not a tool, it is you, you identify with it. You may know, or think, intellectually, that you are not really your mind, but the rest of you does not agree with that, and has had no proof. You have not been shown the proof you need that you are not your mind - therefore you naturally identify it as yourself. It is not a failing unless it is a human failing, we all start out this way once we have been programmed to think.

The problem is that your will then gets wound up in your mind, and you lose it - you are distracted by your own thoughts and are unable to find your will. You know how to 'push with your mind', but the mind can only imagine things. When your mind is still, you'll discover your Will. Not the 'true will' of the thelemites, just Will, the mechanism. Until you find it, you can't use it.

Keep working on it. A week is not enough time to master it. In the mean time, keep learning other things too. Don't focus just on this one practice. This is something you can do every day at the same times on a regular basis while you go about the rest of your life. The only fast track here is to sit and wait for it to happen, for as long as it takes. I don't think you have the willpower for that, so there is no point in trying. You probably wouldn't last half and hour, if that. So, take the long road. Regular practice every day. Ignore everything that happens - any sensations, any thoughts, any wild bucking of the mind. The mind is a lie, don't believe it. The slowness will be excruciating. Your own impatience will be almost painful. Still, only sit and meditate, do so every day. I promise you, without any doubt whatsoever, if you practice diligently every day, regardless of what you think is happening when you do, then eventually you will learn to still the mind and be comfortable in that silence.

If you are not ready for this, admit you are not ready, and wait until later on in life. There is plenty of study to be done in the meantime.

peace

I THOUGHT WILLPOWER WAS WHAT MEDITATION WAS FOR!

I do agree, i have no willpower.

I shouldn't say no, bud "Inadequate for most activities"

I thought meditation would help build focus and in turn, willpower. (They are the same thing, right?)

If not then how would i get willpower?

I don't feel ready, but i have to do it.

Meditation builds focus which is required for all fields of magic and any hobby what so ever!

So putting off meditation is putting off magic and exercise and studying japanese!

then i don't have anything left! (God knows i don't have any deep personal relationships)


which brings me to the blunt paradox of the situation.




To gain willpower, one must focus on gaining willpower.

but to focus, one must have the willpower to do so. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/hmm.gif)

There is no automatic exercise which will give you willpower. Willpower is the choice to apply oneself. Willpower is not strong or weak, it is consistent or inconsistent.

You are making this more difficult than it is. You are undisciplined, impatient, lazy, whiny, and unwilling to put effort into improving yourself. Everything you've posted to this forum from day one has been complaining about your Lack of this or that.

You need to pick a place to begin, and you need to stick with it until you get results - not for six months, not for a year, not for any length of time or any other condition than "When I can see a drastic change." If you need that much help, then get your parents in on it, acquire a willing enforcer of some kind, someone who will gladly keep you on track and tell you every day, "Now sit down for half an hour to meditate." Whatever it takes, you have to do it, or this is a fruitless endeavor and you are better off learning a skill that will be more practical for you.

Stop focusing on what you cannot do. Just don't think about it any more. Focus on one thing that you want to improve, and engage yourself in some practice to improve it. What you are incapable of is inconsequential. If you weight all that you cannot do against what you can do, of course the balance is going to tip in favor of what you can't do - there are more things in life than you will ever be capable of; the list of what you aren't able to do will always be longer than what you can. When you have improved one aspect of yourself, gained one skill, then pick another that will build on that. This is how you gradually build yourself up into a more capable person.

You may very well get more advice from others on this forum, but personally, I am not going to say anything else here. I have given you advice and exercises that have worked for others, and they can work for you. You must simply understand that there is no clock, no timer on the wall judging you the way you judge yourself. It takes as long as it takes, and you simply have to ignore the time factor, and commit the rest of your life to continuous improvement. This is just step one.

Good luck to you.