Ki Exersizes Options

I always thought i was good at sensing ki, (I dont see it, i dont hear it, i just have a sense that it is there) I guess im not

And i was trying to move a pencil as a mental exersize.

at first i tried a zero point technique, got nowhere.
I heard you can switch on your astral senses by flipping a switch in your mind. i dont think it worked.
then i tried a bit of empathy with the pencil, felt it with my mind, then i started to notice visual distortions, dont think its magical energy (You know when its dark and you space out for a while and then you see a bunch of flashing specks in the air and everything has a thin outline?)
Then i tried telling it to move with my mind
then yelling at it to move with my mind
pushing it with my mind.

I dont know how this is relevant to my question other than as an example of where im at.

but what are the best ki/energy control meditations/ exercises?

Ive been doing the middle pillar and circulation of light almost daily (The light goes in your crown energy center.)
and i used to do chakra meditations (The energy goes up your base center, different no?)

but i dont know if ive gotten anywhere?

I just wanted to throw it out there, being around your age. You need to know you can do it. There is nothing that has power over you. Only you can make it happen and the amount of books you read and advice given to you will make no difference if you have no motivation (willpower) to improve yourself.

Pointing out our age, the amount of years we have lived in no way hinders our ability to be as great as any one on this forum. Nobody can live your life for you, you are not a kid anymore and you just need to take charge of your life and make things happen. I know when it comes to me, adults seem intimidating in this area of life. They've had more time to do things, they're older and most likely more experienced. Don't look up to anyone, and never look down on them. See everyone as an equal and know you are not inferior. Stick to your concentration practices and know you can obtain mastery over your mind. You are no less capable then the greatest.

This mindset keeps me on that path of improvement, hopefully it does the same for you.