So You Think You're Special., You sure? Options

I believe, or at least I hope, that i have a reputation here for being pretty patient in general, and being a decent fellow who rarely if ever loses his temper over stuff. I rarely have a reason - after all it's just a forum for all that it represents to me, and hopefully to others here as well; in the end how could I take anything here personally? I'd like to maintain that, and towards that end let me preface this just a bit.

I'm not angry. If anything, I'm amused, perhaps even amused at my own irritation - like when you see something that really gets under your skin, but is funny at the same time, and even funnier when you really lay into it. So, it's all in good humor, and I will continue to maintain an open 'door' policy to anyone who thinks they need help with a werewolf stalker, a thousand year old demon, an ancient evil mage from a past life, or aliens who are exacting a bloody price for the secrets they teach you while you sleep. That said...

...Stop it. Just stop it. It's as simple as that. You all know who you are. I'm tempted to pin this so you'll all see it. If you came here to find out how to best the black magician (who is a year older than you, 17) attacking you during math class, or here to learn the magic words that will give you control over the girl of your dreams, or how to enchant a sword to strike someone down without leaving a wound, or how to uncover your past life memories from when you were a grand high magus of the seventh circle of the super secret occult powers that were-are-and-will-be, press the back button, and go somewhere else. If you absolutely must post about your drama somewhere, go to occult forums. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/evil.gif)

Now, despite the fact that each and every one of you - save those that are actually clinically psychotic, in which case maybe you just don't know better - knows that you're just fantasizing and trying to get us to get involved with it, you are all none-the-less wondering, "Well how do you know? Maybe I am in an eternal conflict with a black witch/mage/sorcerer/werewolf/demon/warlock/darkelf/insert-evil-here! Maybe I am a werewolf and I'm trying to cope with the inherent conflict in my life! Maybe my best friend really can conjure fireballs and won't tell me how!"

I'll tell you how. I was you. I was a crazy teen. Like many of you, I had a broken family, I didn't get the attention I wanted, I had a hard life and wanted an escape, and so I fantasized. Like you, I got my hands on a book 'about magicK' and met a couple of other preteens who were into magicK as well, and before you knew it we were having disco parties on the astral plane and discussing the adventures we had in our past lives. I had a friend who was a werewolf, who insisted that spending the night on a full moon was too dangerous, a friend who was a vampire, who insisted that vampires being unable to endure sunlight was a myth (they were however light sensitive, which is why she wore gaudy black sunglasses everywhere she went, inside or out). And me? Well I was the scion of an ancient order of protectors who were reincarnated over and over into the same role in order to safeguard the very consciousness of humanity. No no, I couldn't possibly get into the details, our lives are very secret, and anyone could be an enemy and NOT EVEN KNOW IT. Including you, my parents, my teachers, and anyone who suggested otherwise.

Like you, my parents didn't pay enough attention, and when they did it was mostly to disapprove of my choice of interests. Like you, all I had mostly were cheap books off the 'occult section' shelves at barnes and noble. Like you my friends reinforced my fantasies by pretending to believe in them as long as i pretended to believe in theirs. Unlike you, I didn't have a forum like this. Unlike you, I didn't stumble into a group of serious, mature occultists who could slap the sense into me. Instead, I had to just grow out of it. Let me tell you something, when you don't have a handful of mature adults who can just forgive you your senseless drama and say "Look, you know your faking it, just let it go and we can move forward, and I won't judge you for it," getting over that crap can take a long time, and be a painful process. Oh I know, I know very well. It becomes painful to let it go. After all, this is who you are, according to your own design. This is literally the freedom to be who you want to be, regardless that you have overshadowed who you really are completely.

Those of you who've been here long enough know this isn't the first time I've had to rant like this. But, we get a few dozen new members every week and the Gods know, we get a regular stream of ridiculous posts in kind. So it can afford to be said again.

So, to those of you just getting here, drop it at the door. I'm going to be a lot more frank and a lot less patient about that from now on. Because I realized, when I thought about it for a while, that patience on that matter wouldn't have done me any good. If I'd had the right person come and slap me around a little, with no patience for my teenage angsty BS, who knows where I'd be now. As it is, I have seen, and felt, and been witness to, fantastic things that make my old teenage fantasies pale and withered in comparison. Because they were real, and I earned them, and they taught me something, made me more whole, rather than simply covering up the incomplete me that I was unsatisfied with. And I was impatient when I started, just like you are now, and I wanted the short path. But the short path turned out to be the long path in disguise.

To those of you who have already spread your angsty drama, yours is a more difficult bit. Now there's no guarantee that those of you that have already posted this nonsense will read this particular post - but if you do: just say it here and now - "I know that was BS, but I'm ready to let that stuff go, because I want something real." I can't speak for everyone here. But as for me, I will not hold it against you, I will not boot you off the forum and I won't let the other mods/admins boot you either - as for me, you get a clean slate. As for others, well, who knows. I'm known to be particularly patient.

There is also a chance you were redirected here from whatever BS post you made. If I don't hear from you - and I'll seek admin approval for this - I'll boot you myself. You're gonna have to learn the long and hard way. Because this is a forum for discussion, exchange, and learning, of experience, theory, belief, and interest, based on the real substance of human curiosity and need for growth. Not a place for you to find faceless people to join you in your narcissistic fantasy brigade. I'm tired of seeing trash fill up the pages of this forum, because this is a respectable place for honest inquiry.

peace

EDIT: PS I'm using Vagrants Post to add this PS...I support his assessment(s) and wish to Thank him for a nicely worded statement. Not wanting to 'mar' his post with another 'reply' I piggybacked (forgive me Vagrant). PAY ATTENTION!
-Bym, Admin

While reading this post, I felt hurt just like you were valkyrie.. But my reason is a little different. I respect all the mods and admins on this site and even look up to them so please don't get me wrong.. I agree with you guys when you say peoples ego's are way too high sometimes. Without even trying, they believe they are the chosen ones who requires no effort at all. I find those posts amusing as well.

What made me want to post were the hypocritical statements I found.

"I was just a kid. Kids play pretend, and they can be crazy. Now I am an adult."
"either get real or get out."
"They were old enough to know better."
"No. I learned how to differentiate between the real metaphysics and the BS."

What made them hypocritical to me was how I've been reading on this forum that you are supposed to "go at it like a kid". Play around with it.

People have been called crazy for practicing magick, to the majorities perspective its all "devil worshipping" and "evil".. To them it doesn't exist, its crazy people pretending they are sorcerers. They drew a line between whats real and what is not. Now people on this forum are doing the exact same thing.

That's what started to get at me..

People with a dream are the same people who give it all they have to reach their goal. Hard work and perseverance bring them there.

I don't believe that there are "special people" who are better than everyone else. Everyone has the same ability to reach a goal. Those who try and don't give up get there.

If you set a limit you will never pass it.

What I got from this thread were:
people annoyed by high ego's, understood.
people selling themselves short, why?

Maybe I don't understand, I'm just some crazy kid who has yet to learn.
If I didn't understand thoroughly what was discussed, forgive me.

This post has been edited by Wiggs1992: Mar 14 2009, 11:24 AM

What made me want to post were the hypocritical statements I found.

"I was just a kid. Kids play pretend, and they can be crazy. Now I am an adult."
"either get real or get out."
"They were old enough to know better."
"No. I learned how to differentiate between the real metaphysics and the BS."

What made them hypocritical to me was how I've been reading on this forum that you are supposed to "go at it like a kid". Play around with it.

Looking at the world with the innocence of a child means to look at it without preconceived notions, without conditioning. Play means to enjoy what you are doing, laugh as you learn, maintain the innocence you began with as you do so. "Go at it" with enthusiasm, excitement, ardor, love, and joy.

This is different than living a fantasy, deluding oneself into believing one has already attained, rather than finding joy in attainment and growth. You can hang out with your friends all proclaiming yourselves and one another all powerful magicians reincarnated to save the world, and talk about your past lives over a soda like you just walked into this one on a whim, but that doesn't get you anywhere, doesn't teach you anything, and furthers the delusion that got you to that point in the first place. You can dress up in gothic attire, wear eye liner, and call yourself a vampire, but unless you drink blood and derive some nutrition from it to the exclusion of all other foods, you are not a vampire.

I'm not talking about dreamers who imagine a different kind of reality, who try to think in more than three dimensions, or who postulate the endless possibilities of creation with a sense of imagination and open mindedness - those people want to grasp something higher, and are trying to find it. I'm talking about people who act like they have grasped a hidden world when they know that they haven't. Playing pretend means you know that you're playing pretend. The difference between just 'playing' and what we're talking about here is that these people are playing in order to get attention, become part of a crowd - 'standing out and being different' in order to fit in with the 'cool kids' just like in grade school, it's no different. I'm not saying we're the cool kids, I'm saying pretending to be an advanced occultist in order to get attention and make oneself 'special' is the same thing. It's about esteem.

People have been called crazy for practicing magick, to the majorities perspective its all "devil worshipping" and "evil".. To them it doesn't exist, its crazy people pretending they are sorcerers. They drew a line between whats real and what is not. Now people on this forum are doing the exact same thing.

People have been called crazy for doing everything. We are not drawing the same line here - this is not about what is real and what isn't, its about honesty; with both oneself and the community, and the earnest desire for growth and realization, rather than the mockery of those things that is made when one presents themselves in the way that many who've passed through here have done so.

If you set a limit you will never pass it.

It may not be necessary to reiterate at this point, but we're not talking about limitations.

people selling themselves short, why?

Because every individual has such vast potential, but in order to reach that potential you have to recognize and accept where you are, and act on that beginning stage in earnest. By 'skipping ahead', or trying to - proclaiming oneself the master of demons and elements, grand high poobah of this or that, ancient vampire prince, secret fairy princess, etc., in order to gather followers or to fit into a group that has these same delusions (and really, they're not even delusions as that implies a believe - a less kind word would simply be 'lies') and feel special, unique, but understood and empathized with at the same time - these people are selling themselves short because doing that overshadows the real potential, takes their own attention away from what they have already in order to invest precious time into a fake persona, a fake life, one which they usually don't even believe in themselves. You have to recognize, accept, and grow into your potential. Just fantasizing doesn't bring you any closer to that realization, except possibly to one day show you the true nature of your own ignorance.

I can't say I'm necessarily sorry that you were hurt by this thread, but I do hope that you understand better now what we mean in talking about these individuals, and what we want to accomplish by establishing this thread in the first place. Really examine your own life, your opinions, beliefs, your past, your experiences, your perspective on reality - how much of it do you believe, and how much do you force yourself to believe because you hope it can be true? How much is based on your experiences, your senses (even the non-physical ones), even the tiny spark of simple knowing and surety at the core of your being? That's what we're asking for here - just be honest, even if honest is "I don't know yet." Even if honest is "I have no idea who I really am." Or "I just feel different, but don't we all?" If it felt like a personal attack, you should examine the reason why it struck you so personally. That's why I posted this thread in the first place.

Open minded is not the same thing as gullible or stupid. We had a member post that they were receiving special incantations and ritual instructions from demons in order to open a gateway to hell, release the army of lucifer, and bring about the end of the world. He wanted to know if anyone was on board with him. Would you take the next thing he told you seriously?

peace

I think I understand better now, sorry for the misinterpretation.
Maybe now I won't have the gods smite you since I am their king after all.

Kidding (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)