Raaaaaaaaaaage, I'M STILL DOING IT WRONG!! Options

I breathe. No effect.
I concentrate. No effect.
I meditate. No effect.
I make reaffirmations in the mirror. No effect.
I tried rubbing essential oils on me. No effect.
Making tinctures? No effect.
Spells? Nothing.
Simple prayer: Nothing.
Started Exercising: Nada
Changed my diet: ZIP
Quit smoking: NOTHING

I swear I feel like this right now: (IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/RAAAAAAAAAGE50.jpg)

I STILL CAN'T ASTRAL PROJECT AND I AM PISSED.

I'm so disenchanted with my failed attempts that my basic system of belief in metaphysics is starting to dwindle. It's almost as if I have contracted a horrible curse that keeps me from practicing magic, receiving the benefits of magic, or bestowing blessings upon others. The same goes for psionics, divination, everything: It's all going down the shitter and making all my attempts feel like this:

(IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/fail.jpg)

I am just about on the precipice of my stress threshold with this, and I swear if I run into any more bullsh*t, I'll just pop one of these!

(IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/fukitol.jpg)

I'm about to pull the plug and give up on magic for good. I don't care anymore. Nothing works. And no one has been able to help worth crap. I think waiting about five years worth of metaphysical research is enough to start projecting. Hello!? Immortal beings out there?! I AM MORTAL AND MY TIME IS SHORT! WHERE'S MY BLESSING NOW!?

I swear, if there are beings out there stressing patience, understanding, wisdom, etc... they are arrogant bastards that don't give two sh*ts about humanity or the human mortal condition. They obviously don't know what it's like to be mortal, otherwise they would be bestowing blessings left and right, realizing that our immersion experiences are what count in human existence. Makes me wonder, if the universe is all-benevolent, and the actions of such beings are malevolent, could it be that they are non-existent at all? I'm starting to sound a lot like an atheist now. Man, I'm so pissed. Anyone else out there share my rage? Or have comments? I am very open to them right now, at least I feel more open to the comments of other humans than I do those arrogant pieces of sh*t gods that don't care worth crap of what I have to say, think, or do. At least I know that on the other end of the computer, there's a human criticizing me. At least that human is real.

...can you handle the rage?

I am so glad that I posted this in fight club.

all i know is projecting is a lot like falling asleep. if you try too hard you'll get insomnia.

plus...sounds like you are letting your frustration control your attitude when going into your sessions. bad idea man. getting too excited about anything will just ground you more.

but let me ask you this. are you at least aware that you are dreaming when you are asleep? cuz you need to work on calm lucidity first and foremost. besides some people speculate (think) that we all already project and that it is a simple matter of remembering what has already been happened everytime you sleep... and becoming more aware during sleep is always a bonus too.

also you subconsciously limit yourself when you say 'when will it happen, darn it nothing is happening' and because you think that way....it means you are not in the present and open to new experiences.

You know what there, you may be onto something.

What can I do to open my sense of awareness on a more basic, intuitive, and emotional level? Apparently, being conscious with the higher brain seems to keep people awake. Lucid awareness is a good starting point. I would look into that, if I knew where to start.

im not saying i am an expert, my no means lol. but my opinion? it comes more naturally if you are having fun and not forcing it.

but i do have a couple suggestions if you want to hear them: One way to work on your dream lucidity, is to throughout the day give yourself a really basic easy to remember easier to repeat silent question: Am I dreaming? the more often you ask yourself this, the more likely you are to repeat this action in an actual dream state. if you train yourself while you are awake to calmly identify your state of reality and awareness it will carry over into the dream world. im not saying you will instantly astral travel. i have a very difficult time myself traveling FROM a dream state even if i am lucid...but being able to tell the difference, and being able to exercise that particular mental state will help prep you for astral traveling. also its a LOT of fun when you finally get the hang of being lucid. you can do anything you like (i like to fly any chance i get)

also some people keep a dream diary...i don't bother i always just try to routinely remember what i dreamed of the night before. it doesn't matter if i remember it only matters that i tried to consciously remember. the more you do this, the easier it is to remember and the more vivid and detailed your dreams seem to be. eventually you will remember a couple dreams a night, and this self awareness will transfer into a dream state.

another thing people frequently do for both astral traveling and lucid dreaming is they use an alarm clock...to wake up at an odd hour, to stay up just long enough to become awake and aware and then they go back to sleep (in a different position or situation where your bodily sensations are heightened). for whatever reason this technique really does work quite well...but again if it doesn't work for you don't sweat it. more will come only if you work on what you already have.

This post has been edited by valkyrie: Aug 15 2009, 11:14 PM