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 Raaaaaaaaaaage, I'M STILL DOING IT WRONG!!
Xenomancer
post Dec 5 2008, 04:57 PM
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Rode off into the sunset...
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I breathe. No effect.
I concentrate. No effect.
I meditate. No effect.
I make reaffirmations in the mirror. No effect.
I tried rubbing essential oils on me. No effect.
Making tinctures? No effect.
Spells? Nothing.
Simple prayer: Nothing.
Started Exercising: Nada
Changed my diet: ZIP
Quit smoking: NOTHING

I swear I feel like this right now: (IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/RAAAAAAAAAGE50.jpg)

I STILL CAN'T ASTRAL PROJECT AND I AM PISSED.

I'm so disenchanted with my failed attempts that my basic system of belief in metaphysics is starting to dwindle. It's almost as if I have contracted a horrible curse that keeps me from practicing magic, receiving the benefits of magic, or bestowing blessings upon others. The same goes for psionics, divination, everything: It's all going down the shitter and making all my attempts feel like this:

(IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/fail.jpg)

I am just about on the precipice of my stress threshold with this, and I swear if I run into any more bullsh*t, I'll just pop one of these!

(IMG:http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p130/thexenomancer/fukitol.jpg)

I'm about to pull the plug and give up on magic for good. I don't care anymore. Nothing works. And no one has been able to help worth crap. I think waiting about five years worth of metaphysical research is enough to start projecting. Hello!? Immortal beings out there?! I AM MORTAL AND MY TIME IS SHORT! WHERE'S MY BLESSING NOW!?

I swear, if there are beings out there stressing patience, understanding, wisdom, etc... they are arrogant bastards that don't give two sh*ts about humanity or the human mortal condition. They obviously don't know what it's like to be mortal, otherwise they would be bestowing blessings left and right, realizing that our immersion experiences are what count in human existence. Makes me wonder, if the universe is all-benevolent, and the actions of such beings are malevolent, could it be that they are non-existent at all? I'm starting to sound a lot like an atheist now. Man, I'm so pissed. Anyone else out there share my rage? Or have comments? I am very open to them right now, at least I feel more open to the comments of other humans than I do those arrogant pieces of sh*t gods that don't care worth crap of what I have to say, think, or do. At least I know that on the other end of the computer, there's a human criticizing me. At least that human is real.

...can you handle the rage?

I am so glad that I posted this in fight club.


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¡HA HA! ¡ESTOY USANDO EL INTERNET!
-Never learn the Art of Sword before the Art of Dance. - Celtic Proverb
-Even with spiritual power, an unchecked ego will only seek to deify itself. - Frank MacEowen
-One cannot traverse waters without causing waves. - Xenomancer
-I find it interesting that we as scholars of metaphysics have no problem discussing the intricacies of the threads of reality, but when it comes to the things that really matter, we forget them. - Xenomancer
-This world is your home. We have a mix of everything here. If you want better, make better. There's no rule of going elsewhere for the tools. That's what magick is about. - Xenomancer

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esoterica
post Aug 21 2009, 10:16 AM
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left 30 aug 2010
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a friend and i were talking about his not being able to get out, and i pointed out that if he could eliminate pain via thought (shifting his position within the body slightly, moving it further out), then he was probably out all the time and just living co-axially with his body - he is a very spiritually advanced person but had never astral projected - i smelled fear - he also had the other problem of not giving himself permission to wander off from his body - we are horribly aware of our tenuous connection and we are afraid to to leave our bodies lest we lose them, but by giving ourselves permission, and repeating the mantra 'i will go out of my body tonite, and i give myself permission to do it, and i will return to my body successfully' as we fall asleep, then we can break the self-imposed compulsion to remain tight to the body

it takes almost a whole month of thinking the mantra as you fall asleep before seeing any effect - minimum 21-28 days to start or break any subconscious anything

This post has been edited by esoterica: Aug 21 2009, 10:20 AM


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