To Forgive and To Forget, Really... how do you do it? Options

Have you had someone really important and beloved to you do something really bad/dissapointing/whatever to you which you simply cannot forgive, not to mention to forget? When in the end you ended up filled with so much hate, mixed with love and resentment no matter what you've tried to really forget and forgive? And the feeling still there like for 2 years as it kept popping into your head even when you were not intentionally want to think and when you least expected it? Well, maybe I'm in a bad mood today, but really... I want to hear your thoughts and experience on dealing with this.

Yes, I had a friend who I liked much more than she liked me, in fact, she didn't really see me as a close friend at all. I totally misunderstood the situation.

After our parting, I hurt for many years and it hurt to think of her, but after being angry with her and blaming her and feeling terribly sorry for myself, I came to see that it was my own misreading of the relationship that was at the heart of the pain and once I had accepted that, things got a lot easier.

Now I remember her and see her in her true light; I also see what led up to my needing her to be my friend and how I came to misunderstand her place in my life; that is really the hardest part, accepting our own bit in a problem. Once we start looking inward and stop trying to place the problem outside on some other person or situation, then the true healing begins.

There will always be reminders, but the pain triggered by them gets less in my own experience.