To Forgive and To Forget, Really... how do you do it? Options

Have you had someone really important and beloved to you do something really bad/dissapointing/whatever to you which you simply cannot forgive, not to mention to forget? When in the end you ended up filled with so much hate, mixed with love and resentment no matter what you've tried to really forget and forgive? And the feeling still there like for 2 years as it kept popping into your head even when you were not intentionally want to think and when you least expected it? Well, maybe I'm in a bad mood today, but really... I want to hear your thoughts and experience on dealing with this.

my story will not provide insights.

when i was young my parents divorced. I actually begged my mom to part with my father. He is a bad man, even as a child i could see this.
In the end my mom could scrap together the courage to kick him out.

Years later he knocked back at our door, claiming he had the right to at least see his kids. He had a restraining order, but my mom allowed him to take us out each Sunday anyway. In the beginning it was fun.

After some years, he ended up coming inside our house, eating our food, choosing which TV programs to watch. and insulting my mom and making us all feel scared and oppressed. He had taken control somehow.

He was always a smart man, and he could reason well, but as i got older he was no match for me. So i had to convince my brothers and mother to get him out again.

In the end i was able to persuade everyone and we told him he was not allowed inside our house anymore. He got angry and it was not a fun evening that day.

So thats my story and thats how i ended up calling the cops to get my dad out of my life. He even threatened to kill me before we called the cops.

thats my story, being betrayed by my own father. I hold no grudge against him, but i will not talk to him. He is no father of me anymore, i treat him now like i would any stranger. Friendly and polite.

Its not so much a point as whether or not i forgive him, or hold a grudge against him. I often remember the very few good times we had together, but i never feel hatred or anger toward him.

I compare it to a tiger, i do not hate tigers, but they are not allowed inside my house, and i would avoid them if i met them in the wild.
If a tiger were to bite me, I would not be angry at it, but i would run from it as soon as i can.

a relevant link:
http://www.truetao.org/living/2004/200409.htm

This post has been edited by A_Smoking_Fox: Jun 9 2005, 07:04 AM