God, Need help finding Options

So I was raised christian but I never followed the bible or believed it to be real from god. I did pray to god but have since stopped. I feel that I have lost connection with god that has always been with me for as long as I can remember since I stopped praying. But I fear that if this god is the christian god I am on a 1 way ticket to hell for magick. The trouble is I feel strongly about god and about magick both seem and feel right to me. But I don't feel anything for the bible it is more I feel it is wrong and is not the work of the god I believe in. But I do not know who or whatever you like the god I believe is? Please forgive my lose term of god and who, is, etc.

If anyone can give thoughts on this or has gone through something like this I would love to hear from you. I don't know if it is just a lack of myself wanting or not ready for change since I have related to god being able to give me peace after I die instead of torture or if its something else. Should I keep praying to the god I relate to and keep doing magick since I have the same strong feeling towards them both? I truly wish I was better at magick so I could use it to help me get answers. Does anyone else have answers for god christian or any other major religion. From what I've read you can summon spirits to get knowledge from and divination. Has anyone ever asked if one of the religions is correct?


Thanks to all and again take my use of who, is, god with a grain of salt for I lack the words to explain it.

Doesn't it say word for word in the bible somewhere that if you simply make a Pascal's wager you're saved though? I recall that the cases of damnation in the bible simply existed, but there was never a bold "Jesus hates fags and muslims and you're going to hell for being one of them" or something along the lines of that with a long list.

honestly it says all kinds of things. much of it contradictory.

it says that if i don't ritually kill animals, to atone for the dire sin of having a period, that I will be unclean before god and cannot come near the temple.
it says that if kids disobey parents, its sometimes ok to just kill them.
it says that god promised some land to Moses & the hebrews, but turns out there were people already living there, so they killed every man, woman, child, livestock, and pet, and burned and smashed every structure utterly, to purge the 'promised land' of the evil taint of the pesky indigenous population.
it says that if you have weak faith, you could possibly go to hell, so don't question things or think for yourself, just try real hard to have that faith.
it says that gay men are evil simply because they're taking the role of a woman, and that you should kill them for stooping to such a horrible low. (lesbians are biblically off the hook)
it condones slavery, genocide, capital punishment for purely verbal crimes... I could go on all day.
most of it isn't even original stories, just borrowed material given a hebrew slant. And the 'new testament' is the concoction of a pantheistic roman council trying to put together a state religion (by order of a pagan emperor).

Seriously, if that book were actually all 'true', then I'd be first in line at the demon recruiting office.
fortunately, it's not (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) so there's no pressing need to join the resistance.
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In my own path, I have had extensive dealings with a being which I would refer to as a 'true deity', or an actual infinite being (I differentiate 'true deity' from "religious deity"). My path with her is unique and 'customized', however, I have noticed some particular parallels with Tantra, and to a lesser degree with Taoism.
I don't know if that's helpful.

This post has been edited by Kath: Jun 5 2010, 10:09 AM