God, Need help finding Options

So I was raised christian but I never followed the bible or believed it to be real from god. I did pray to god but have since stopped. I feel that I have lost connection with god that has always been with me for as long as I can remember since I stopped praying. But I fear that if this god is the christian god I am on a 1 way ticket to hell for magick. The trouble is I feel strongly about god and about magick both seem and feel right to me. But I don't feel anything for the bible it is more I feel it is wrong and is not the work of the god I believe in. But I do not know who or whatever you like the god I believe is? Please forgive my lose term of god and who, is, etc.

If anyone can give thoughts on this or has gone through something like this I would love to hear from you. I don't know if it is just a lack of myself wanting or not ready for change since I have related to god being able to give me peace after I die instead of torture or if its something else. Should I keep praying to the god I relate to and keep doing magick since I have the same strong feeling towards them both? I truly wish I was better at magick so I could use it to help me get answers. Does anyone else have answers for god christian or any other major religion. From what I've read you can summon spirits to get knowledge from and divination. Has anyone ever asked if one of the religions is correct?


Thanks to all and again take my use of who, is, god with a grain of salt for I lack the words to explain it.

The Bible is contradictory because it is a library of books by different authors whom have diverse opinions and experiences.

Christ is the Magnum Magus. Chist exorcised , interpreted dreams , healed , raised the dead , and had visions and mystica unia.

Chakras, Kundalini and the tattwas predate Christianity in the Vedas but The 7 Golden Lampstands of the body are described in the Bible and these are the 7 chakras. The trifold cord is in the Bible and it is the triple flame on the human energy body it is the funicular to monad and God in Ida, Pingala and Sushumna.

Dream Interpretation , Projection in a merkabah , communication with angels and demons,exorcism, healing , life after death , communication with deceased spirits and communication with God are all in the Bible . The Bible is full of magick.

There is a Biblical Emerald Tablet or rather two of them one in Ecclesiastes and another in Revelations some count a third in Psalms. In the Gnostic Gospel of Judas Christ asks the apostles to come out of themselves as the perfect man and only Judas can. Then he projects out of himself as a circle of angels and then as a legion of angels. He asks the apostles to follow him to Barbello the home of his Grandmother in heaven but only Judas can try. Judas laments that he was able to follow Christ to the realm but he can not enter through door but sees the light emanating through the crack on the floor. The Cosmic Christ continues to teach to all with great love irregardless of their path or their belief system. He teaches healing ,ascension alchemy, exorcism, peace and forgiveness

Not all magick is non Christian. Not all Magick is against God . For example, Kaballah , Mysticism, Healing , Exorcism , Projection , Mediation , Mediumship , Hermetic Magick et cetera are not against God .

The dualities of Heaven and Hell , good and evil and Angels and demons does not have its origins in Christianity. Hels exist in many pantheons
Heavens do to. Demons are part of the ancient Vedic literature of the Hindu faith and Buddhist philosophy as well as the Abrahamic Religions.