Need Some Advice On Generating Intention/will Options

First of all, my sincerest greetings to everyone, may you all be blessed

Would like to do a little introduction first since I'm new to this forum and also to give a little background on the matter I'm currently dealing with, hope you guys don't mind

My current alias in this forum is arkham, I'm a knowledge seeker who had just recently found myself stepping into the path of what i would eventually recognize as some form of magick, the path which also brought me here to this forum

I don't really know how to classify my current path, since its more of a mix of the principles of everything i had read and learn about the world

The method i use is the basic implementation of the four classical western elements ( I'm still a beginner, so i don't really have much knowledge in methods and stuff ),
- the air, which is to possess the knowledge and a clear visualization of the consequence and direction of what one wish to realize
- the earth, which is to possess the faith and the belief that the things that one wishes to be realized will absolutely be realized
- the water, which is to let the things that one wish to be realized to smoothly flow into realization with minimal influence/disturbance from the outside world by wisely choosing what to act and what not to act during one's everyday life
- the fire, which is to possess the intention and will to make what one wish to realize to really be realized in life, in short the energy that fuels the realization/manifestation

The principle i think is similar to the Know, Will, Dare and Keep Silent that I've learned in several sites so far

Regarding the matter, I'm currently having trouble with generating this fire principle, or so to speak, I'm having trouble in generating the intention and will that i need to realize what i wish to realize

It's not that i don't have any intention/will, if that was the case, i won't be writing this post here to find the answer

It's just that i feel that the level of intention that I generate is too low (or calm maybe), analogically it's like a gentle lantern that shines constantly but weak, instead of the intense fire that i am seeking to generate

The gentle constant state of intention that i currently have at present does work nicely to fuel the realization of my magick, but in a rather slow and subtle way as well, not that it's a bad thing, it's just that during my troubled time, i possess a very intense will when i wish to do something (note: the intention was mostly negative at the time though), and the realization of that intent was almost always instant (most of what happened are bad things though), and it's been awhile since i experienced that level of realization now (i had currently made peace with myself), so i was wondering why

From my observation so far, the fact that i was not as troubled as before and that i was more open and acceptable to things that happened around me now was somewhat affecting my intention level

The only moment where i can generate an intention level that intense in my current state is when i was in a life-death or "this is my last chance, it is either totally succeed or totally screwed" situation (had several of them lately), while during my troubled time, i don't need any life-death situation to trigger such intention, i was simply burning and fiery all the time back then

I could maybe do things or emulate my mind to generate an extreme situation that might be able to fuel my intention, but it's not really comfortable to rely on that kind of solution

So, shortly speaking, any advice regarding how to generate an intense level of intention in normal everyday condition?

Thanks in advance to anyone who read this (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

Thanks for the advice esoterica, appreciate it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Let's see what i can dig out of it...

Note: what you will read below are mostly ramblings about my process of finding the answer to my question, and it is quite long indeed, i apologize if at some point some of it just doesn't make sense (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

If i were on fire, i would have great desire to put it off, because the event is potentially threatening for my well being, i might get burnt or hurt during the process, i also assume that it would indeed be painful, and because of that it challenges my well being, and so i have the desire to prevent it from happening and to try manifesting what i instead wish to happen, which is to ensure my safety

If a grandma sees her grandchild pinned under a car, she will lift the car to save her, since she loves her so much and that the event possess the potential to hurt her grandchild, which she could not allow, since the grandchild is a part of her life, grandma still want to see her grandchild go on with his/her life, grandma still hope that her grandchild can put smiles and comfort in grandma's heart, all of that would not happen if the grandchild end his/her fate by being pinned under a car, and instinctively, grandma would help her grandchild using all of grandma's life

From what i theorize so far, whenever one encounter a challenge toward what one perceive as a part of oneself (which varies with each person), a desire is generated, based on the base energy of love/fear, and was manifested in the form of intention

Which leads me to the question, can this desire be generated if there was no challenge?

My inner self said to me at this point, that water will flow from one point to another if there was a gap between the point, wind flows from one place to another due to a difference in pressure

Which somehow reminds myself on high school physics, in which there is the potential, and there is the kinetic energy (please do correct me if I'm wrong, I wasn't really good with physics)
A static system posses a potential, which would be transmuted (changed?) into a form of kinetic energy if there was disturbance/change in the system (ummm, or so i remember...might be wrong though)

The potential is manifested into action/movement because there is a gap/difference between the current state that the system are currently experiencing and the next state that are assumed to took place in the system

Somehow, the term "challenge" that i used before does not feel the same as a "change" in my perception
What i meant was, in my perception, a change is neutral, it doesn't have to possess a polarity, negative and positive are based on the perception of the mind, not the actual form of the change

But when i refer to the word challenge, and when i reflect on the examples esoterica give me above, it feels that the reason why one is able to generate a desire was because of the fear of losing something, ex: losing your grandchild, hurting yourself

This loss usually lead to something positive later on (judging by what i have experience so far, every negative that happened in the past always have a positive effect somewhere in the future), but at the current moment, it feels like a loss

My mind said, then, if a loss can generate desire, then gaining something should also generate desire, they're the same thing on different edge of the spectrum anyway
However, based on my experience so far, gaining something does not give an intention as intense as having a loss does

In my case, the intention i gained by gaining something was the level of a gentle constant lantern
While the intention i gained out of fear of losing something are at the level of somewhat a great fiery explosion

This somehow brings me to the Jedi and Sith analogy, how the force was manifested in the dark side is different than how it was manifested in the light
If i were to relate to my previous thoughts, the dark side of the force was the great fiery explosion, powerful, strong, instant, destructive, somewhat of a force lightning
While the light side of the force are the gentle constant lantern, tactical, flowing, gentle, constant and calm

Which brought me to my original question, how do you generate an intense level of intention in normal everyday condition?
The term normal here is varied with every person, that i know, so I'll reshape the question

How do you generate an intense level of intention in a static, safe and sound condition without any life threatening or risky events?
Analogically speaking, how do you perform the dark side of the force by having love and compassion, and how do you perform the light side of the force if your main reason is fear?

Again, my inner self said, you don't, that's not how the system works, u can try a middle path though
Which my mind said, the middle path, jack of all trades master of none?

My first rambling process ends there, and then my mind went to another blackboard, starting to ask a new rambling of an alternative perception.....

Analogically, what if the man that got caught on fire was the human torch (the fiery dude on fantastic 4), he doesn't feel threatened by being on fire, since his very existence is fire, water might challenge him though

What if the grandma was actually wonder woman in her past? and that she still retains her powers even to this day?
She would calmly move to her grandchild and said, aw come on, it's only several tons, and the grandchild would merely pushed the car away, seemingly inherited her grandma's gene

What if one had reached a stage where one does not classify the challenges that one once see as a challenge, as a challenge no more?

At this point my inner self just answer, simple dude, just get a larger challenge, which i respond to by thinking, a larger challenge hold a higher risk
Which my inner self answer, well, then just get a different type of challenge, and i respond with, analogically i get it, but the implementation i am not really sure for now

And so, my analytical process eventually reminds mo of the quote, with great power comes great responsibility (from the first spiderman movie if I'm not mistaken)

BTW, pardon all the superhero examples, dunno why they pop out over and over again in this post, but nevermind, they serve their purposes

The most plausible answer for me so far is the same as what esoterica had advised me, practice generating my desire by playing various scenarios and went through them as an actor in my mind

But then again, is a challenge really needed to generate desire?

Water flows from the roof to the ground because of the height difference, but can water flows in opposite direction? from the ground to the roof?

My inner self said, of course dude, just use a pump, but then again, just use some waterbending

What do i get so far?
Umm...dunno, still processing the thoughts, I'll just post this post first for now, it's getting too long

Anyway, thanks for pointing me to a direction es, gladly appreciated (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
Other advices and input anyone?

This post has been edited by arkham: Jul 11 2010, 06:40 PM