Need Some Advice On Generating Intention/will Options

First of all, my sincerest greetings to everyone, may you all be blessed

Would like to do a little introduction first since I'm new to this forum and also to give a little background on the matter I'm currently dealing with, hope you guys don't mind

My current alias in this forum is arkham, I'm a knowledge seeker who had just recently found myself stepping into the path of what i would eventually recognize as some form of magick, the path which also brought me here to this forum

I don't really know how to classify my current path, since its more of a mix of the principles of everything i had read and learn about the world

The method i use is the basic implementation of the four classical western elements ( I'm still a beginner, so i don't really have much knowledge in methods and stuff ),
- the air, which is to possess the knowledge and a clear visualization of the consequence and direction of what one wish to realize
- the earth, which is to possess the faith and the belief that the things that one wishes to be realized will absolutely be realized
- the water, which is to let the things that one wish to be realized to smoothly flow into realization with minimal influence/disturbance from the outside world by wisely choosing what to act and what not to act during one's everyday life
- the fire, which is to possess the intention and will to make what one wish to realize to really be realized in life, in short the energy that fuels the realization/manifestation

The principle i think is similar to the Know, Will, Dare and Keep Silent that I've learned in several sites so far

Regarding the matter, I'm currently having trouble with generating this fire principle, or so to speak, I'm having trouble in generating the intention and will that i need to realize what i wish to realize

It's not that i don't have any intention/will, if that was the case, i won't be writing this post here to find the answer

It's just that i feel that the level of intention that I generate is too low (or calm maybe), analogically it's like a gentle lantern that shines constantly but weak, instead of the intense fire that i am seeking to generate

The gentle constant state of intention that i currently have at present does work nicely to fuel the realization of my magick, but in a rather slow and subtle way as well, not that it's a bad thing, it's just that during my troubled time, i possess a very intense will when i wish to do something (note: the intention was mostly negative at the time though), and the realization of that intent was almost always instant (most of what happened are bad things though), and it's been awhile since i experienced that level of realization now (i had currently made peace with myself), so i was wondering why

From my observation so far, the fact that i was not as troubled as before and that i was more open and acceptable to things that happened around me now was somewhat affecting my intention level

The only moment where i can generate an intention level that intense in my current state is when i was in a life-death or "this is my last chance, it is either totally succeed or totally screwed" situation (had several of them lately), while during my troubled time, i don't need any life-death situation to trigger such intention, i was simply burning and fiery all the time back then

I could maybe do things or emulate my mind to generate an extreme situation that might be able to fuel my intention, but it's not really comfortable to rely on that kind of solution

So, shortly speaking, any advice regarding how to generate an intense level of intention in normal everyday condition?

Thanks in advance to anyone who read this (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

I feel that ultimately, it isn't attempting to control yourself, but ultimately completely letting yourself go.

If I visualize anything when I undergo gnosis, its usually me being dragged to the the bottom of bottomless abyss (the paradox is intended in some way). At first, I struggle, then I eventually lose all breath and inhale water and die. From the the bottom of the pool, depending on the occasion, either by my own choice or not, I might stay on the bottom of the abyss, or I hit dry land, but basically my spirit body shifts into some other form (depending again, on my own choices.)

I would argue that true power comes from not the individual, but really riding on the riptide of natural energy coursing through everything is really the ultimate force. Instead of really attempting to dominate yourself, let go of everything. Of course, that requires that you have the will and focus to come back, so if its not exactly the best sounding idea, come back when you're confident that you can abandon everything.