Funny how the universe will translate itself to different people in different ways. Me being a computer geek and gamer, I understood the universe in a similar fashion.

Everyone knows about my incessant quest to try and Astral Project. Well, I am happily announcing that I have stopped that quest. For the longest time, I was fixated on the idea that Astral Projection will be my only way to be happy in my life... but then, what did that say about me? If anything, in retrospect, that tells me that I knew nothing about what Astral Projection was about. So, after weeks months years of searching for understanding of the subject, I finally found some metaphorical analogies I can use.

I asked a mentor what is AP, exactly. She said that it was like "taking off your muddy shoes of karma, and leaving them at the door. When you return to your body, you put them on again." I asked her further about the subject, wondering what happens to the consciousness after we die, and during astral projection. Does it disappear? Will I still have my sense of "awareness" that feeds into the singularity point which is my consciousness? Short answer, Yes, I will still be conscious and aware.

Long answer, however, was "not quite." Apparently, when we leave our bodies (through projection or death), there is that sense of identity attached to the consciousness. I know myself in this life as... well, I don't give out my real name on the internet unless it's on a person-to-person basis, so I will just use my magick name that I used way back when. So, I know myself in this life as "Ulric." When I leave my body, I am still "Ulric," the mind, personality, cognition, and sum of all my experiences in this life, or "the Mental Body/Projection."

Eventually, that shrugs off, and I become my true self, the sum of all life experiences that I have had, unique compared to every life I have had, in the sense of logic that "square is a rhombus, but rhombus is not a square." Yes, I am still me, but the "Ulric" is no longer. I do not know my 'true' name, and as far as I have noticed, nor do I care to. I will have all the things I have learned in my life as "Ulric," but "Ulric" is no more.

Now, how was I able to make sense of this? By the following:

Life is very much like an MMORPG. "Ulric" is my "Toon" that I level up with different skills, that I make friends with, that I learn life experiences with, and that I learn to be Homo Sapiens with. This Earth, this universe, this reality, is like the Server that "Ulric" logs into. Mental Projection is like taking "Ulric" and switching servers for a short period of time. Astral Projection is the act of "logging out" of my avatar, "Ulric." In fact, avatar is a very accurate term for this whole thing. In both the gaming aspect and the spiritual aspect, "Ulric" is the avatar of my true self, similar to how Buddha was an avatar, Jesus was an avatar, and various others. We are all avatars. Avatars of our true selves, playing this MMORPG we call "Mortal Reality" (in before "MORTAL KOMBAT!!).

Think about it. Video games are excellent learning tools to understand other people. By hiding behind a persona, you can make all the mistakes you want, learning at maximum efficiency, with virtually no fear of repercussion to the real self... that is, until you begin to abuse the "hacks" and "debug mode." (That's best left to the Devs and Mods, who I am guessing are the spirits of the Sephiroth that make up the body of "God." You can request their help anytime, but if anything, like a true developer and/or moderator, they will just help you out only if you're stuck via a glitch, and otherwise just remind you how to help yourself.) You can learn how to socialize, learn new words and ways of talking, of thinking, of writing, of doing... learn tactics on how to tackle problems and everything. Half of everything I know about how to successfully deal with the world, I learned from playing video games with a centered mind. I kid you not. There is a definite Zen to Video Games.

And what happens when it gets too much to bear? You log out, and realize, "it's just a game. I can relax." And so, you wake up in the morning, and in the twilight of sleep, do not care for the world... until the mental energies of your avatar load up and remind you of your stats, your score, and those damn numbers that matter for only one measly thing: The Game.

Before waking up, I am not aware of the score or the stats or anything concerned with this world. I know a few skills and methods of thinking, but more or less that's just from experience. "Ulric" takes care of the rest. But then... "Ulric" rises to take the stand in the world and is reminded: My name is "Ulric." I am 23 years old. I am located in bed at my house at my address. I'm fat. My BMI is xx.xx%. My weight is xxx pounds. My height is xxx cm. I go to college. I have a car. I have a bank account. I live in the United States.... and so on, and so forth with a flood of information that gives me awareness to the here and now.

And meditation is what I am supposed to use to shut myself up from the constant data feed and let my damn machine cool down!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

PS Yes, the game is open source, but if you try to take on the mods and devs, and how they set up the game engine, they will lock up your character from functioning correctly. Overall, just behave. Have plenty of lulz, but don't go overboard...

...Because no one likes a Griefer!