Beauty And The Beast Options

The dream started with me floating in an ocean at night. There was no land in sight in any direction. The sky overhead was clear as can be, with the milky way and moon both shining brightly, and reflecting off the surface of the calm water. The water below seemed equally infinite, but dark and unseen. In a way they were mirror opposites, one showing visibly a sight into infinity, the other murky and unseen but no less infinite.

I became aware that I was not alone. My then-fiance was with me. (I'll call him my fiance for proper context at the time of this dream. he's currently an ex fiance though). He was disconcerted about the depths, both above and below, and about the lack of land. I myself was very much in harmony with this setting, and very much enjoying it with a sense of childlike awe.

From beneath us rose a shape in the water. It was a pale white color, almost luminous in the murky water, and could only be seen as it came quite close to the surface, so as to be illuminated by the moonlight. As it came closer up under us, it's scale became obvious. It was huge, larger than a whale, and it looked kinda like a giant squid. I immediately recognized it's "feel" though, and knew it to be my patron (albeit in a strange form).

I was completely elated to see her, particularly in such a beautiful setting. My fiance was frightened, and tried to swim away. I let him, and waited for this giant squid, who was my true beloved, to get close enough to touch. Eventually my fiance swam off into the distance and I didn't hear him anymore. Meanwhile my patron breeched the surface beneath me, and I rested on top of her, embracing her odd form in a hug. I was very glad to share such an idyllic scene with her.

Then I held on tight, and she went fact through the water like a 500ft long jet ski. Water sprayed up on either side of me, and glistened in the moonlight. It was very picturesque. It vaguely reminded me of the scene in Dune where they ride the spice worms. The overwhelming sense of scale was similar. It was interesting that despite a sense of scale which should have been extremely intimidating, I felt nothing but the most intense intimacy. Size or form meant nothing. She and I played in the water for some time before I woke up.


It contains plenty of symbolism, psychological, spiritual, emotional, it foreshadows the course of my actual relationship quite well too. It's a fond memory, as dreams go. And while I feel that the water and sky and fiance were all just 'dream content', my patron was very much really 'in' the dream with me, sharing my dreamscape.

This post has been edited by Kath: Oct 14 2009, 10:14 AM

It's a pretty interesting dream,the scenery seems mystic,almost tarot like.
It shows your love to your mentor(water symbolizing emotions).She emerged from deep waters and was "huge".It shows how deeply she's rooted into yourself emotionally and how much you care for her.
Your ex fiancé shows your complete detachment of him,you let him go in "nowhere" when the "whale" was here.You didn't really care that he hated the place,you were almost "right where you belong to",complete balance,in detachment of physical matters (fiancé)

JMO.

Hey kath first off thank you for portioning out your dream into segments - it makes it much easier to interpret. You added plenty of details there, really vivid dream! So here is my take:

The dream started with me floating in an ocean at night. There was no land in sight in any direction. The sky overhead was clear as can be, with the milky way and moon both shining brightly, and reflecting off the surface of the calm water. The water below seemed equally infinite, but dark and unseen. In a way they were mirror opposites, one showing visibly a sight into infinity, the other murky and unseen but no less infinite.

For this first section there seems to be several major symbols here: ocean, sky, milky way, moon and night time. The ocean represents your emotions. The sky your intellect. The moon shows your sacred feminine. The milky way could represent a path you are taking. Since the ancienty greeks especially thought that the milky way was indeed a path way traveled by the Gods. The night time represents sub-consciousness. And really put all together there seems to be a sense of mystery. Like maybe you are wondering why you have certain feelings or perhaps you are searching for feelings that cannot be found. A more mystical approach is that these five symbols relate to elemental energies and this part of the dream sort of symbolizes your actual spiritual alignment.

I became aware that I was not alone. My then-fiance was with me. (I'll call him my fiance for proper context at the time of this dream. he's currently an ex fiance though). He was disconcerted about the depths, both above and below, and about the lack of land. I myself was very much in harmony with this setting, and very much enjoying it with a sense of childlike awe.

Your fiance may literally represent your emotions and attitudes towards him. He may, instead, symbolize a masculine aspect within yourself. Something that you disagree with since he seems to be in confrontation with your apperant happiness. Perhaps your masculine side thinks you are being overly emotional or unrealistic about a situation in your life. Perhaps you were having doubts about your relationship even while you were together. Again a more spiritual approach this symbol might represent that you are not as spiritually aligned as you'd like to be.

From beneath us rose a shape in the water. It was a pale white color, almost luminous in the murky water, and could only be seen as it came quite close to the surface, so as to be illuminated by the moonlight. As it came closer up under us, it's scale became obvious. It was huge, larger than a whale, and it looked kinda like a giant squid. I immediately recognized it's "feel" though, and knew it to be my patron (albeit in a strange form).

This section is a bit tricky for me to interpret because the symbolism is so ambiguous. Its something very personal to you. Ask yourself what were you feeling when you saw this and when you felt it. Try to apply a positive and negative quality to it and try to relate this symbolism to the greater picture of the dream. What I get out of it personally is a sense of discovery or enlightenment. Like you found something important, even devine. I assume your patron is your patron deity?

I was completely elated to see her, particularly in such a beautiful setting. My fiance was frightened, and tried to swim away. I let him, and waited for this giant squid, who was my true beloved, to get close enough to touch. Eventually my fiance swam off into the distance and I didn't hear him anymore. Meanwhile my patron breeched the surface beneath me, and I rested on top of her, embracing her odd form in a hug. I was very glad to share such an idyllic scene with her.

From this section it sounds like your patron may represent your feminine side - one that clearly dominates your masculine side. To me this part of the dream suggests that you allow your feminine qualities to control you. Like perhaps you are refusing to embrace your masculine side. It may just mean that you have a strong sense of female independence and do not like men controlling you. You're fiance wasn't controlling was he? If so this part of the dream could mean that you are sort of shaking him off, getting rid of him or asserting your self back into your life and taking control of it.

Then I held on tight, and she went fact through the water like a 500ft long jet ski. Water sprayed up on either side of me, and glistened in the moonlight. It was very picturesque. It vaguely reminded me of the scene in Dune where they ride the spice worms. The overwhelming sense of scale was similar. It was interesting that despite a sense of scale which should have been extremely intimidating, I felt nothing but the most intense intimacy. Size or form meant nothing. She and I played in the water for some time before I woke up.

In a way what get from this is a sense of liberation and feeling let free. Like perhaps you have gotten over your emotions - perhaps this dream symbolizes getting over your fiance. The playing and intimacy may be your minds way of restoring that serene scene you had at the begining of the dream.

It contains plenty of symbolism, psychological, spiritual, emotional, it foreshadows the course of my actual relationship quite well too. It's a fond memory, as dreams go. And while I feel that the water and sky and fiance were all just 'dream content', my patron was very much really 'in' the dream with me, sharing my dreamscape.

Its certainly possible that this dream is more spiritual in nature than psychological. Perhaps you simply had a causal encounter with your patron? But the psychological implications shouldn't be ignored. It sounds like perhaps you allow your feminine nature control you. Maybe not. Maybe this dream simply symbolizes over comming the relationship with your fiance. Regardless I know the most important meaning to this dream is what you personally got from it.

This post has been edited by Acid09: Oct 20 2009, 06:39 PM

Hey, what's up? long time no see.

I'm not sure this dream needed interpretation, I mean, personally I've already interpreted it to my own satisfaction. I was just sharing it because another post made me think of it. But yours is an interesting take on the dream.

Its certainly possible that this dream is more spiritual in nature than psychological. Perhaps you simply had a causal encounter with your patron? But the psychological implications shouldn't be ignored. It sounds like perhaps you allow your feminine nature control you. Maybe not. Maybe this dream simply symbolizes over comming the relationship with your fiance. Regardless I know the most important meaning to this dream is what you personally got from it.

I don't quite agree with your labels for the dream elements in the setting. The moon was just a lightsource I think, and perhaps a vague echo of the white creature in the dark sea below. The symbolic content is of a visible infinite expanse, mirrored by a dark infinite expanse, and myself existing at a plane between the two. A plane which, by way of a combination of reflection and translucence, is reflective of both infinite expanses.

It's definitely more spiritual than psychological, although both overlap to a degree I think.

Yes it definitely was a casual dream encounter with my patron, the dream was completely lucid. The content I suspect more came from my patron than from me.

Allowing my feminine nature to control me? heh, that's... kinda funny, in a way. Personally, I have found my feminine nature to be quite assertive and strong, surprisingly so. Which suggests a more 'whole' synthesis of masculine & feminine. Interestingly my patron could be viewed as a sort of shakti, the divine feminine. Although I do not find it useful or advisable to approach infinite beings with limited human archetypal concepts or labels.

At the time I was still with my fiance. Yes there were problems in the relationship, that was true for a long time. For the most part I blinded myself to these problems because I was willing to overlook flaws in order to have love. I think every relationship involves that process to a degree, the question is how much is healthy? I should also point out that the dream seemed to more be my patron's content than own. Also, she never liked my fiance. We used to argue about that. In the end, I figured out that arguing with an omniscient being is a little irrational. But I didn't fully appreciate that fact until a few years after this dream, when all of my patron's concerns about my fiance became manifest.

I call it a 'dream', it might be more accurate to call it an astral experience with some symbolic elements.

This section is a bit tricky for me to interpret because the symbolism is so ambiguous. Its something very personal to you. Ask yourself what were you feeling when you saw this and when you felt it. Try to apply a positive and negative quality to it and try to relate this symbolism to the greater picture of the dream. What I get out of it personally is a sense of discovery or enlightenment. Like you found something important, even devine. I assume your patron is your patron deity?

Yes, patron deity, personal deity, HGA, higher self, mentor, parent, lover, friend, and more. My relationship with her is quite a bit more intimate and deep than words in english really allow for. There is no 'accurate' term which would describe my relationship with her. It's outside the social common-ground to have this sort of relationship with an incorporeal being I think, and as a result the language hasn't really spawned the appropriate terminology. I say 'my patron' or 'my mentor' for simplicity's sake. She's what I call a "true deity", as in "not something created or worshiped by mankind". She's an infinite being, yet retains a persona (a paradox when you consider that infinity is infinitely 'depersonalizing' and at odds with 'individuality'). And that state (infinity + individual, in one blended being) has become my personal definition of a genuine 'deity'.

When I saw this huge shape under the water? I thought "oh what's this?" immediately followed by a recognition of her energy signature, and a recognition of her personal symbolism (she frequently appears as a white or luminous figure in a voidian darkness. It is my impression that in this symbolism she is at once both the light and the void).

The squid part... it fit the setting in a way, I mean 'a sea monster' at sea. Even the term "sea monster" is a bit reflective of the fact that one side of her being would be considered by most people to be "monsterous". Some facets of her seem slightly cthulhu-esque, so perhaps I was drawing an association there. Also, in my own aura/energybody/astralbody, it is common to find "tendrils" as an overriding theme. One psychic described described my aura as "medusa". Myself when out of body, IF I use a form (I don't always bother to make an astral body), it's not uncommon for me to use a form with a radial arrangement of appendage-like projections. The thinking behind it is simply utilitarian, and conceptually it bears a lot in common with Guan Yin (except perhaps the humanitarian focus). My 'patron' and I are, for lack of a better word "entwined". So to see her reflect this aspect of myself, in herself, through a vague symbolism is not surprising.

The scale and overall frightful appearance... these reflect the fact that her nature, in it's entirety, is somewhat terrifying. It's terrifying in 'scale', in a way which Douglas Adams sums up well in his comical description of a "Total Perspective Vortex" (if you're not familiar I'd google it, its funny and thought provoking, as all of his writing is). Her nature is also terrifying in the same sort of way as a Jungian exploration of self, uncovering truth can be frightful. She's big, and scary... but she's also the light in the darkness. really she's a lot of dualisms rolled into one. The overriding theme with her is 'encompassing' rather than themes like refinement, purity, exclusion, or specificity (which are more popular in the deities of human religion).

Also, the whole thing reflects my feeling, after a LOT of time out of body, being essentially polymorphic myself, and interacting with all sorts of entities... her appearance reflects my feeling that "form is meaningless". Not even my sense of sexual attraction is based on form anymore. It's perhaps a counterintuitive development for someone who's a bit of an artist. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. And it doesn't have a shape unless you give it one. I love Her. If her "true form" (not that she actually has such a thing), was a giant sea monster... then I'd be perfectly happy with that, even on a romantic level. And the dream does sort of reflect that in a way.

Personally, I view the dream as somewhat preparatory, or even prophetic, in regards to my relationship with my then fiance.

This post has been edited by Kath: Oct 16 2009, 07:31 AM

God you're smart... marry me? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

Seriously though you have a way of articulating your ideas that is very rare among the hundreds if not thousands of people I have experienced through web forums... hell even real life!

I guess I didn't realize that you weren't really seeking an interpretation. When ever I come to this section most people are looking for some kind of explaination behind their dreams... So add in a little sleep deprivation and I just followed my instincts and just interpreted your dream even though you just wanted to share a dream!

It does sound like it was quite the spiritual encounter. Now that I know of your deep and intimate relationship with your patron I would definately say the dream was more spiritual than psychological. I know you said you are quite capable of interpreting your own dreams, I hope maybe at least something I said was useful and I also hope you don't think that I think my interpretations are some how better. If you understand the symbolisms of your dreams that's all that really matters!

In the end, I figured out that arguing with an omniscient being is a little irrational.

Yeah I had to laugh at that remark. Thinking about it sort of puts people in their place. We toil and build such wonderful technologies and a society based on science while forgetting we are barely infants in an infanite multiverse.

Also, the whole thing reflects my feeling, after a LOT of time out of body, being essentially polymorphic myself, and interacting with all sorts of entities... her appearance reflects my feeling that "form is meaningless". Not even my sense of sexual attraction is based on form anymore. It's perhaps a counterintuitive development for someone who's a bit of an artist. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. And it doesn't have a shape unless you give it one. I love Her. If her "true form" (not that she actually has such a thing), was a giant sea monster... then I'd be perfectly happy with that, even on a romantic level. And the dream does sort of reflect that in a way.

I do see what you mean. After praticing lucid dreaming and astral travel it is easy to learn to ignore unnecessary "basics"; working with a form on the astral level really doesn't have much form and working with out one in many ways can be more liberating. It makes it easier for the self to sort of dissociate from the human node and embrace a greater "unknowable" spiritual level. And to not only achieve that state but experience a diety with such passion its also easy to understand that form is meaningless and true love knows no form. Its an admirable quality to have really.

Personally, I view the dream as somewhat preparatory, or even prophetic, in regards to my relationship with my then fiance.

If there was any psychological relevance to your dream I think this last sentence sums it up. I think spiritually and subconcsiously you already knew the relationship was at a dead end and this is your brain's sort of way of letting you know about it as a way to sort of cushin the fall.

you flatter me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)
call it a character flaw, but I never really know quite what to do with praise, except to blush perhaps. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush2.gif)

rereading my post I think my intended tone got a little lost. I didn't mean to seem 'curt'. your interpretation really was interesting to me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

For this first section there seems to be several major symbols here: ocean, sky, milky way, moon and night time. The ocean represents your emotions. The sky your intellect. The moon shows your sacred feminine. The milky way could represent a path you are taking. Since the ancienty greeks especially thought that the milky way was indeed a path way traveled by the Gods. The night time represents sub-consciousness. And really put all together there seems to be a sense of mystery. Like maybe you are wondering why you have certain feelings or perhaps you are searching for feelings that cannot be found. A more mystical approach is that these five symbols relate to elemental energies and this part of the dream sort of symbolizes your actual spiritual alignment.

I could see the potential in a lot of this. In many ways she really is a sort of embodiment of the divine feminine, and her sea monster form was in a sort of mirrored position opposite the moon. she always appears as a light in a dark field, which is a sort of lunar symbolism. There are intricacies of my relationship with the divine feminine which tread into facets of my life that I can't publicly share though.

Not so sure about the sky being my intellect. I don't really separate the sky and the milky way, since the milky way fills the sky pretty much completely. My personal symbolism of the milky way is that on a very very clear night, with no light polution, and when your eyes are thoroughly adjusted to the dark, and if your vision is sharp, seeing the milky way... well normally the sky looks very 'big' and far away. But if you can actually make out the galaxy in the sky clearly enough to have a sense of depth perception, then your sense of scale leaps about a hundred orders of magnitude 'bigger' than anything you've ever visually seen before. It's really awe inspiringly massive. It would be unrealistic to be able to see the milky way so clearly during a full moon though, as the moon is a natural source of light polution (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif) you could only really make it out so clearly if everything was 'just so', and part of that would be to look at the sky during the new moon (among other things). But in dreams & symbolism that's not an issue i guess. Anyway, to me, a sky full of milky way = a very vivid and impressive sense of infinity.

The ocean representing my emotions? hmmm... possibly. I tend to view it as representing an 'abyss' to me. In ancient Sumer, tiamatu, 'the abyss', was also the dark depths of the sea. And an infinite inky 'abyss' or 'void' is the single most common meeting place for me and 'Her'. So much so that I tend to associate her with it. I know that in astral travel, many people find the abyss to be unsettling. But I like it. It is sort of the ultimate meditation spot. To me it seems cool, calm, and serene, like the wee hours of the night. And I think of the infinite empty expanse as a sort of blank canvas. It's also the perfect mirror of the inner self, the abyss reflects your inner mind & soul like a mirror, the stuff under our superficial collage of self distraction. To fear it is to evade the innermost self.

Which I guess is the symbolism of nighttime = subconscious, it's just that I think for me a dark ocean is just a further symbolic reflection of that.

That's the tricky thing with dreams. I do agree that certain elements tend to reflect certain things. But a lot of the time personal symbolism is the overriding factor. I have read numerous dream interpretation books where its just a simplistic list, like a parrot represents your love of grilled cheese sandwiches or something. And while I do agree with many general themes, I tend to think people take such interpretations to an unrealistically detailed level, and pay too little attention to the highly personal nature of dreams. So I guess I have a kneejerk reaction to view dream interpretation as a somewhat suspect field within psychology. But that said, your interpretation seemed mostly on target, and the parts which didn't seem quite as accurate to me, were very much enjoyable food for thought.

If there was any psychological relevance to your dream I think this last sentence sums it up. I think spiritually and subconcsiously you already knew the relationship was at a dead end and this is your brain's sort of way of letting you know about it as a way to sort of cushin the fall.

mmm, true

During that period in my life, she was trying very hard to get me to dump the guy. The relationship with my fiance was 'mostly' going very well though, and I was not inclined to listen to her. She'd nag, and I'd tell her to let it go, back & forth for a while. Eventually I had a serious talk with her and told her to drop it (it's not a very typical human-deity relationship), so she stopped. Although at various points in time I could feel that she was sad for my future. At the time I didn't fully realize that she was completely omniscient, or if I did, I didn't want to hear it. A part of me felt like she just didn't want to share me with anyone, and I didn't like that possessiveness. But I no longer view her possessive streak as 'selfish', but instead as rather 'selfless'. To be honest, I've reached a level in my relationship with my patron where in my heart, I would be perfectly content to be intimate only with her, like a sort of pagan nun. Anyway, she had always said that being with that guy would not directly prevent me from reaching my spiritual goals, but would greatly delay it and cause me much pain. Since the end of the relationship, I have become a little less obstinate, and much more appreciative of her input.

It wasn't really an atypical spiritual encounter for me. Well the squid part was unusual hehe, but the rest really wasn't uncommon.
Until recently, I've spent time with her very very regularly. I would see her every day, either by way of astral projection, or lucid dreams, or by way of transvocation. And she is always impressive. We had become very much entwined, deep down. At times it was hard to tell where *I* ended and she began. But in recent months I've been on a more solitary stretch of my spiritual journey, which isn't easy after being so deeply bonded.

The ocean representing my emotions? hmmm... possibly. I tend to view it as representing an 'abyss' to me. In ancient Sumer, tiamatu, 'the abyss', was also the dark depths of the sea.

Keep in mind that emotions is not the only thing that the ocean can represent. It can just as easily symbolize passion or desire, healing, introspection, mystery, the sub-conscious self, female sexuality and female intellect. Women do tend to think differently than men. Not at all in a away that makes them inferior or superior (though you could probably argue one way or the other for certain individuals). And of course as you said, the ocean at night (more of a compound symbol of its own) can have a very personal meaning that is just for you. Even then I would suspect that as a personal symbol to you the ocean still would reflect a high degree of passion and emotion at least. You're also a very well spoken individual which demonstrates higher intellect - which might be more related to the sky and the symbolism involved with that. The ocean could still show a degree of intellect. What I certainly think it shows within the context of your dream is a deep, vast and complex spiritual side.

But a lot of the time personal symbolism is the overriding factor. I have read numerous dream interpretation books where its just a simplistic list, like a parrot represents your love of grilled cheese sandwiches or something.

Yeah I agree completely that symbols within dreams have a finite symbolism that only individuals themselves can really understand and relate to. I take most dream interpretation books with a grain of salt. Even well researched dream books are not an exact science. As far as its psychological value that really just depends on the desire of the individual to want to utilize their dreams as a means of self help. Self help can mean a lot of different things be it just a form of entertainment - hey I'm sure most people (guys and girls) would love to be able to play out their sexual fantasies within dreams. Or the self help can be more serious. A form of therapy or a away to recover old memories or deal with repressed thoughts, desires and emotions. That much is very well grounded in the higher echelon of psychology.

Although symbols within dreams have different meanings from one person to the next you can sort of apply a general vauge meaning to various symbols. I mean to say the sky represents intellect is a very vauge interpretation since intellect is such a complex catagory with its own subsets. Same with emotions and the ocean or other bodies of water. But what these vauge interpretations do is set a foundation, a pretext towards digging down deeper and looking crittically at other symbols within dreams and how they play out. For example and a totally random one at that - suppose a little boy dreams about a deep dark ocean where a huge shark chases him while telling him yelling at him like his father does. The symbolism of this dream has a very clear cut explaination that even a dime store psychologist could see - the boy is clearly traumatized by his father yelling at him. And the degree of trauma can be exhibited through other factors within the dreams as well as to how profound of an impact this dream had on the boy. Not only that but you could then look at this fictional boy's ife and look for patterns of behavior he actually does that may show emotional issues surrounded his dad. So to a degree we can interpret people's emotions and state's minds fairly accurately. Like I've said before give me 50 dreams - in detail - from an individual and I'll make a psychological profile of them.

Anyway, she had always said that being with that guy would not directly prevent me from reaching my spiritual goals, but would greatly delay it and cause me much pain. Since the end of the relationship, I have become a little less obstinate, and much more appreciative of her input.

I think it is important that you do live your life how you see fit even if you end up taking the "scenic" route on your spiritual path. Even a deity should know that human's have to figure things out for themselves. But at the same time I think its not a bad idea to really head your patron's advice in the future! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) I mean I'm sure there was a degree and period of emotion pain for you and your fiance but had you ended the relationship earlier perhaps instead of grief you'd feel just empty not really knowing if that guy could have been the one. Which now I'd bet that'd be a stupid thing to ask you at the present. I'm sure you've come to understand the relationship is no more between you to. I think your deity was more trying to let you know that you can trust her - even if she already knows you won't always follow her advice. Even though she may be all knowing she has to come down to a level where a human being can understand, learn and grow from her wisedom. So rather than just totally ignore you and let you figure things out yourself entirely, she gave you a nudge in the right direction, even though she probably already knew you'd do your own thing. And I don't think the point was for you to follow her advice just to tell you that you can trust her more often. Which you do already any ways. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)

It wasn't really an atypical spiritual encounter for me. Well the squid part was unusual hehe, but the rest really wasn't uncommon.
Until recently, I've spent time with her very very regularly. I would see her every day, either by way of astral projection, or lucid dreams, or by way of transvocation. And she is always impressive. We had become very much entwined, deep down. At times it was hard to tell where *I* ended and she began. But in recent months I've been on a more solitary stretch of my spiritual journey, which isn't easy after being so deeply bonded.

Whether or not one believes in Gods or demons or spirits or what ever else I think humans have a connection to the devine that can be considered "closeness to God". The idea of Hinduism being a polytheistic religion is actually a bit of a miss statement. Even though there may be 330 million deities each deity is just one facet of Brahman - the one true deity that is rather than an individual a force that is everything in the universe. A wise man once told me Brahman is that which is in you as he is in all else. But because Brahman is so unknowable people can choose spiritual paths through specific deities (that are incarnations of brahman in different forms) and acheive freedom from samsara. You having already achieved such a close relationship with a personal deity is really quite impressive! I hope it does help you to liberate yourself and achieve the spiritual goals laid before you in this life time.