The Last Fear, My Final Frontier Options

I feel like I am coming to a close in my chapter of Dark Night of the Soul. Thank you all for sticking with me to the end.

Before I let go of searching and exploration, and take on a task for active advancement, I have one final question, which has been the focal point of my apprehension to this endeavor:

Are there entities out there, independent of my own psyche, who actively seek to antagonize me, even as I speak?

This has been the last bit of pre-programming I have left to deconstruct, and I guess this is the last bit I have to worry about. Years ago, I 'learned' that advancing makes me a beacon on which psychic parasites can home in. There were a few answers to this teaching that address the issue:

A) Yes, and there is nothing you can do about it.

B) Yes, but that's what Spirit Guides/Guardians/Patron(Matron?) Deities are for!

C) No. You are your only antagonist.

After I 'fell' into my DNS (Dark Night of the Soul), I became exceedingly paranoid about all my spiritual endeavors, and therefore chose not to actively advance. My instincts tell me that this is unfounded, but my observational wisdom which works from the axiom, "as above, so below," observes that as there are people and creatures on this plane that feed off of my suffering, or accost, antagonize, etc. from me, there would also be those in the realms beyond. My sentiment after my fall was, "What's the point of going forward if all I will encounter are odds and forces that my human effort will only compare to as meager?"

However, teachings of the realms beyond the mundane still affirm that all that is beyond is good, and has a place in existence. When I say this sentence, I am reminded of what an SM member said: "There is no Evil if it serves a purpose. True Evil strives to not have a purpose." From that premise, I have absolutely nothing to worry about, because I will only attract contentious entities and situations that pertain to my efforts and those alone, therefore simplifying my troubles and the scope of solutions. So from which viewpoint do I work for a solution to my question?

I ask this now after a lot of introspection and grounding (about 3 straight years worth!) and realizing the real answer to my lack of energy and feeling good: "You are disenchanted because you are disenchanting (a disenchanting person(ality))." Yes, after my fall, I just became a boring person, because my mystical and metaphysical studies was what...well, made me such an enchanting personality!

Once I admitted to this fault, from the viewpoint that every person is the author of their own beneficence or demise, then the idea of reacquiring my state of powerful balance seems more realistic. But this fear still remains.

I cannot really answer this myself, because I have mixed feelings of the whole situation, and I cannot tell which feelings are from legitimate premise, and which are unfounded and irrational.

Can anyone help address this lack of clarity so that I may be better equipped to address my fear? I would very much appreciate some counsel on this matter.

Thank you!

- Xenomancer

This post has been edited by Xenomancer: Aug 30 2009, 03:43 PM

I will soon be in a similar boat.

However, there are a few things my teacher has made me think about and realize which give me, I think, a perspective which may help. Although bear in mind that I have not yet experienced the Dark Night, so this comes second-hand.

First of all, I go for answer C. I believe that as a microcosm of the universe, we possess all the spiritual/magickal forces/intelligences/entities within our own psyche. I also believe that every other living organism is a microcosm in a similar way, except that we can become conscious of this totality. Once we become fully awake to the totality of our being, all conflict and opposition dissolves; that is, the original separation in our being that gave rise to every other division, conflict, duality, etc within consciousness finally dissolves and we become whole, unified, nondual.

All Nature is dual. Everything in Nature possesses a duality. This includes the duality of light and darkness, positive and negative, evolution and devolution. When we became part of Nature, and no longer part of the Eternal, we became dual beings. The "darkness" we experience on the path is the mechanism in Nature to hold itself to itself, to hold you in matter, in Nature, in duality. For instance, the tarot card, The Devil, is also called Lord of the Gates of Matter. It is the Devil who is the Gatekeeper for all who would pass beyond. That Devil is that very oppositional force you encounter. it is Nature. It is not bad. It is duality. It is also not "external entities", although that is how it appears to us. That fear that you feel is just as much a part of the mechanism as the entities themselves. These "parasites" are manifestations of that Gatekeeper, doing whatever it can to make you stop in your tracks. That is its job. Otherwise, Nature as such wouldn't even exist. Everything would be a New Agers dream, all ethereal and shining angels, etc.

So, if these entities are manifestations of your own "Devil", or shadow self, then yes, you are your own antagonist. But that is the only way it can be. Otherwise attaining spiritual immortality and enlightenment would be easy. We wouldn't have to face ourselves.

As dual beings, we are all at war with our own reflections. Magick just tends to exaggerate and accelerate that opposition, bringing it to another level. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blablabla.gif)

I hope that helps

This post has been edited by flyingmojo: Aug 30 2009, 05:28 PM

I will soon be in a similar boat.

However, there are a few things my teacher has made me think about and realize which give me, I think, a perspective which may help. Although bear in mind that I have not yet experienced the Dark Night, so this comes second-hand.

First of all, I go for answer C. I believe that as a microcosm of the universe, we possess all the spiritual/magickal forces/intelligences/entities within our own psyche. I also believe that every other living organism is a microcosm in a similar way, except that we can become conscious of this totality. Once we become fully awake to the totality of our being, all conflict and opposition dissolves; that is, the original separation in our being that gave rise to every other division, conflict, duality, etc within consciousness finally dissolves and we become whole, unified, nondual.

All Nature is dual. Everything in Nature possesses a duality. This includes the duality of light and darkness, positive and negative, evolution and devolution. When we became part of Nature, and no longer part of the Eternal, we became dual beings. The "darkness" we experience on the path is the mechanism in Nature to hold itself to itself, to hold you in matter, in Nature, in duality. For instance, the tarot card, The Devil, is also called Lord of the Gates of Matter. It is the Devil who is the Gatekeeper for all who would pass beyond. That Devil is that very oppositional force you encounter. it is Nature. It is not bad. It is duality. It is also not "external entities", although that is how it appears to us. That fear that you feel is just as much a part of the mechanism as the entities themselves. These "parasites" are manifestations of that Gatekeeper, doing whatever it can to make you stop in your tracks. That is its job. Otherwise, Nature as such wouldn't even exist. Everything would be a New Agers dream, all ethereal and shining angels, etc.

So, if these entities are manifestations of your own "Devil", or shadow self, then yes, you are your own antagonist. But that is the only way it can be. Otherwise attaining spiritual immortality and enlightenment would be easy. We wouldn't have to face ourselves.

As dual beings, we are all at war with our own reflections. Magick just tends to exaggerate and accelerate that opposition, bringing it to another level. blablabla.gif

I hope that helps

So you mean to tell me that yes, there is an outside entity/influence that antagonizes me, though not personally, just simply opposing efforts to transcend because that is its job? To make sure that challenges come my way as a means to constantly strengthen myself? And that the mechanism this entity does this with is by evoking my own mind to spawn thought-forms that come as my opponent in my advancement?

Or that it does this by sending such challenges as a simple means of "pushing back" during my attempts to advance, via cause-and-effect mechanism?

Also, I pray you never have to face a Dark Night of the soul, lest it be an absolute necessity to inspire you to advance. Some people who experience it never recover, and some simply give up on life altogether.

This post has been edited by Xenomancer: Aug 30 2009, 06:00 PM

So you mean to tell me that yes, there is an outside entity/influence that antagonizes me, though not personally, just simply opposing efforts to transcend because that is its job?

No. Your soul exists in a state of ignorance. In a binary state. Not unified, not whole. This is because you are a part of Nature, and everything in Nature has polarity, and exists as a binary. Magick gets a current running between the polarity, so that ideally, as the current becomes stronger, you can eventually become one. But there is a force of inertia, an extremely powerful kind of magnetic repulsion that keeps the 2 poles apart. While this repulsion, this inertia is a part of your soul, it is also a part of Nature (since it is what makes Nature), and so is both internal and external. This is the source of the negativity and the fear and the parasites. As the current becomes stronger, so too does the repulsion. And the repulsion will disappear only in 2 ways. You either become unified, or you give up and stop the current.

What I meant by this is its job, is this: can you imagine if there were no magnetic repulsion, no inertia, keeping the 2 poles separate? Nature as such could not exist. There would be no polarity. No life and death.

I hope this makes sense. As I said before, this is second hand.

a million-million bacteria feast upon your skin - those that get within are killed by antibodies that your body makes just so it can kill any bacteria that get inside the skin - the body also has a membrane on the outside that acts like a shield keeping such natural things as bacteria on the out of the inside - "look, and you will see, but observe, and you will understand"

While this repulsion, this inertia is a part of your soul, it is also a part of Nature (since it is what makes Nature), and so is both internal and external. This is the source of the negativity and the fear and the parasites. As the current becomes stronger, so too does the repulsion. And the repulsion will disappear only in 2 ways. You either become unified, or you give up and stop the current.

OH! Sorta like...how there is a polarization for sake of energy flow. With no polarization, there is no flow. No high to low, no motion, no nothing. This is what drives dynamic equilibrium, then, yes? Okay, I understand. And as for the negative influences, you mean to tell me that these are much a natural occurrence of "powering up" as a generator yielding arcs of energy as a side effect of the interplay?

a million-million bacteria feast upon your skin - those that get within are killed by antibodies that your body makes just so it can kill any bacteria that get inside the skin - the body also has a membrane on the outside that acts like a shield keeping such natural things as bacteria on the out of the inside - "look, and you will see, but observe, and you will understand"

So esoterica, you mean to say that the same way I have a skin and immune system, my spirit functions much the same way in these respects as well?

I too may well have reached that point.




I have born witness to maya (The Lie ... The Illusion. The Lie that is told to us. The Lie that we tell ourselves.)






For as long as I can remember, I've always been a painfully shy, withdrawn person. For years, I was convinced that was my "true", immutable nature. For years, I acted on the assumption that "people are a threat, the world is a threat, and it is best to avoid dealing with either one whenever possible."


Recent events have forced me to the realization that it does not have to be. I can become whatever I desire to be, whatever I wish to be.




That which I thought to be my "true", immutable nature ... was NOT.


So much of what I thought was my "true" nature is nothing more than a lie (Lies my parents have told me ["You're shy. You're worthless. You're as helpless as a two-year-old."]. Lies I have told myself ["I'm shy"].)





I CAN make positive changes in my life. The world does not HAVE to be a threatening place. The world is filled, for the most part, with good, kind decent people (Many more good people than evil people. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blablabla.gif) )

This post has been edited by The Sorceress: Aug 31 2009, 03:22 PM

My answer is C. . . I can see your headed towards the abyss of disillusioned crazy occultist. . . (IMG:style_emoticons/default/insane.gif)

>>abyss of disillusioned crazy occultist

lolololololololololololololololol

c'mon in, the water in the abysss is turbulent, and inhabited, but warm and happy and forever without dissolution into emptyness

My answer is C. . . I can see your headed towards the abyss of disillusioned crazy occultist. . . insane.gif

If you added an LOL, I would have been more than happy to consider you as one who was joking. But, seeing how you did not (at least this time around, in case you wish to edit later) I will consider that you said this in ill jest. This is an important matter to me, and though I rarely lash out at others, especially on this forum, I am going to lay this one out right now: STFU.

You have a lot of nerve to be assumptuous that I am going down that path. I have fought tooth and nail to pull myself back together, and made efforts to bring every experience I had into a view of introspection. Comparing my posts now to when I started in 2006 is proof of that. I am more coherent, more rational, and a definitely more logical now.

This post is about breaking the chains of illusion that bind me and not to cause further antagonism.

-----

*looks at hand raised by Aphrodite* Would anyone else like to add to the discussion?

Malevolent forces- are they out there? If yes, on what conditions do they rear their ugly heads? Where do they come from?

This post has been edited by Xenomancer: Sep 1 2009, 09:37 AM

Greetings!
This sounds like we're getting sidetracked here. Let's not devolve this wonderful discussion into hurt feelings and callous remarks!

That being said...

There comes a time (sometimes more than once) when we meet the Dweller on the Threshhold. This is your greatest obstacle. You will be up against something that knows you inside out! Acceptance is a key. You all have said it. Know thyself! Two small words with unbelieveable potential!
It has been my experience (and opinion) that we need to understand those words more so than ANY other entity out there! We are in a most constant battle with our conciousnesses, every second of your life! Please ponder this...I'm sure that you'll see what I mean. The Abyss needn't be an ending/end-all. Don't indulge in yourSELF and you can have another go.

I never subscribed to the evil alien ideas, though there are a few floating around! If you don't go looking for them they will probably not go looking for you.

Happy Journey!

This post is about breaking the chains of illusion that bind me and not to cause further antagonism.

You have seen maya. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Malevolent forces- are they out there? If yes, on what conditions do they rear their ugly heads? Where do they come from?

I don't know if I would quite call them malevolent.


I believe they're neutral. They're projections of your own deep-seated, subconscious fears.



bym has a point. Know Thyself. Knowledge is the answer. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/book.gif)




See The Illusion ... The Lie ... for what it is, and then act in Truth (Truth being the opposite of The Lie. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blablabla.gif) )

This post has been edited by The Sorceress: Sep 1 2009, 06:06 PM

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/sorry_2.gif)

All joking aside I’d kinda say B (mainly in terms of your own consciousness than constant attacks from external beings, although like BYM said, they wont go looking for you unless your looking for them. This is my experience, but I’m sure I’ve had less than you). I’m also in agreement with Esoterica (who I assume was alluding to the aura or some other natural type of spiritual shielding) vs. the idea of angels/deities/spirit guides as spiritual protectors unless called upon. Hope that made sense.

This post has been edited by Aphrodite: Sep 2 2009, 02:45 AM

Besides what I was talking about above (which I only have a mediocre understanding of), I think there's something else, something much more basic and universal here:
For every action, there is an equal, and opposite reaction. For every existent force in the universe, there is an opposite polarity. This is just the way things are. So in one sense, the “powering-up” you do generates an equal and opposing force. It creates a vacuum in the ether. The parasites are that vacuum. This doesn’t just happen with magick. It happens with everything. Like capitalism for example. A corporation generates the energy of financial gain, and so also generates a financial vacuum, which produces the opposite energy, an energy of financial loss. This energy has to go somewhere, and the corporation seeks to constantly stave it off itself. And just like how you attract entities which seek to rob you of your life-force, there are beings which seek to rob and pillage the corporation of its growing profits.

How do you deal with this? As Bym said, "Know thyself". The thing with negative magick/entities is that they can can only get you where there are cracks in your foundation. Whatver they are, wherever they come from, whether they are your own ignorance and fear reflected back at you, or external parasites, this one thing remains true. By going after your weaknesses, they reveal your weaknesses to you, and so show you where it is you need to grow, and what aspects of yourself you are not yet conscious of. Know your own shadows.

First off, I would like to apologize for flying off the handle like that. It's been a time of great revelation for me. Great improvements, and now things have come to the full-boil climax of my story. I feel that I am on the precipice of denouement. Yes, I am very proud of myself for climbing back from the metaphorical cliff I fell from. I feel as close to spiritually free as I have been in a very, very long time. When the butterfly leaves the cocoon, it is still sensitive... That is my only justification for my reaction. Otherwise, I wish to apologize especially to you, Aphrodite, for lashing out at you. I'm riding an energy high: I haven't felt this galvanized in years!

sorry_2.gif

All joking aside I’d kinda say B (mainly in terms of your own consciousness than constant attacks from external beings, although like BYM said, they wont go looking for you unless your looking for them. This is my experience, but I’m sure I’ve had less than you). I’m also in agreement with Esoterica (who I assume was alluding to the aura or some other natural type of spiritual shielding) vs. the idea of angels/deities/spirit guides as spiritual protectors unless called upon. Hope that made sense.

I was just discussing that the other day with a friend. Strangely enough, it was in tandem with an idea mentioned following here. Read on...

How do you deal with this? As Bym said, "Know thyself". The thing with negative magick/entities is that they can can only get you where there are cracks in your foundation. Whatver they are, wherever they come from, whether they are your own ignorance and fear reflected back at you, or external parasites, this one thing remains true. By going after your weaknesses, they reveal your weaknesses to you, and so show you where it is you need to grow, and what aspects of yourself you are not yet conscious of. Know your own shadows.

Those two posts mirror exactly the discussion I had with my friend and counselor, an owner of a bookstore. She helped me come to the following conclusions: It was the idea that I choose my challenges via my doubts. From the Law of Attraction perspective, my doubts feed the energy of these "malevolent forces" and give them substance. But, they will always be parallel to my efforts, in the sense that for every action there is a reaction, as Flying Mojo said. It wouldn't make sense if I meditated myself to transcendence, and along the way, a random cow falls out of the sky and onto my head. A 'la Aphrodite: The consciousness, or benevolent forces, or even a collaborative effort between the two, make sure of that. Everything will still pertain to the genre and nature of the work and effort. This didn't dawn upon me until now, after the fact and in retrospect.

Flying Mojo's example of Capitalist Corporate structure example did well to illustrate the push-and-push-back property of the cosmos. The reaction due to an economic swell cause by the collection of wealth in once place (establishing said company) causes covetousness around it. Similarly, my efforts to push myself forward can cause a wake in the reality around me, similar to a boat in the water... In that context, "you can't make a move without making some waves!" Being that these waves I make would be Xenomancer-shaped (being that it is the Xenomancer that traverses these waters in this case), it's only logical to assume that the negative pressure following due to motion would pertain as thus.

the water in the abyss is turbulent, and inhabited, but warm and happy and forever without dissolution into emptyness

How right you are, Esoterica. We are all moving through these waters. Staying still is one of the signs of being dead! I for one, am not dead, and choose to enjoy this life.

Aphrodite and Mojo, your input has been invaluable. Bym, thank you for focusing perspective again!

*bow*

Are there entities out there, independent of my own psyche, who actively seek to antagonize me, even as I speak?

uh... "maybe"? It's certainly possible, I have seen that first hand plenty. But I do tend to doubt the 'likelihood' of there being an entity or entities who are long term committed to keeping you down. not that it's impossible, just unlikely. Somewhat more likely is periodic conflicts with entities.

But this fear still remains.

fear is never a productive state of being.

A) Yes, and there is nothing you can do about it.

B) Yes, but that's what Spirit Guides/Guardians/Patron(Matron?) Deities are for!

C) No. You are your only antagonist.

I notice the common human tendency towards feeling helpless vs. spiritual beings. Personally I don't really bother my Patron with conflicts between myself and entities. I like to work them out myself. Ideally this would be through 'non-reactionary' dialog. But failing that, I can hold my own if push comes to shove. I'd consider it a personal failure to seek help in a conflict, my pride would be marred. But I'm not above it, if it were truly necessary (its never truly necessary though (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) )

Really, due to several different events which unfolded in the past 7 years or so, I almost never get any spiritual 'antagonists'. A combined approach of diplomacy & deterrence has made 'bothering me' a fairly rare event.

This is in contrast to when I was a child, and I would be routinely tormented by significant numbers of entities. I was something of a negative entity magnet. I was quite psychic, and as a result entities which would normally just pass on through would stop and take notice of me, simply because I would take notice of them. And I think i drew mainly negative entities because that was the resonance within my psyche which was most repressed in my saintly childhood (lot of pent up negative energy there). This continued with decreasing regularity into adulthood, but it picked back up again when i got into the occult. I think I had simply made myself 'more noticeable' again, my energy was all revitalized & interesting, and that tends to draw trouble, like flashing a wad of $100 bills in a bad neighborhood.
But um, nowadays, I don't really have any problems. I think there is a 'phase' in spiritual development where entity antagonism is almost a 'given', but I think if you stick with it, you do kinda grow beyond the reach of such petty annoyances, and it tapers off.

I mean there's always the occasional stray... last month for example... at my boyfriend's apartment building there's a ghost. Just a regular run of the mill human ghost. For whatever reason he decided he didn't like me. It would try to do the whole 'menacing presence behind me' routine, but it wasn't very good at it. I would just ignore him. I wouldn't even bother devoting any memory space to him, except that about a month ago he actually tried to push me down the stairs. It was a really weak attempt, I barely felt it, more like a sort of 'indoor breeze' in that direction, just as i was starting down the stairs, with a noticeable energy 'shove'. It was not very obvious, but I could tell that pushing me down the stairs was the intent. I think it was frustrated with my constantly ignoring it. Or maybe it just had a thing for pushing people down the stairs, who knows. I actually kinda lost my temper a little bit and skipped my usual 'non-reactionary dialog' step. I pinned it (enveloped it energetically) and got real up close and in it's face, and put a little 'chill' into it's heart, kinda impressed upon it just how drastically out of it's league it was, and made it very clear that it would be leaving myself and my boyfriend alone. end of problem, not even a peep out of it.

If I were psychicly nulled out, would I have had an antagonistic spiritual encounter at my boyfriend's apartment complex? probably not. maybe, but probably not. So i mean, being 'aware', cultivating significant energy, etc. these things can end up drawing unwanted attention. But is that reason enough to avoid spiritual development? To each their own, but I don't think so.

ad astra per aspera

This post has been edited by Kath: Nov 2 2009, 02:22 PM

This issue and thread has already been addressed. Now, I look back on this post in retrospect, as one would look at a stepping stone across a river from whence the traveler came.

But, thanks for the last 3 sentences. Those summed up the entire answer I was looking for in this post.

This post has been edited by Xenomancer: Nov 3 2009, 03:14 AM