Sadness And Its Effects Options

Hi guys

Im wondering if im the only one that has these effects when im Real sad,, why im sad is private matters not feeling like telling everyone my private life however i do want to tell my effects of what the sadness dos to me, right now i feel pretty sad inside, food dont taste me any liquid dont really have the taste it used to have' nonetheless i drink alot of liquid, just dont eat much, the hunger is also gone and i constantly look toward the future trying to see what it brings me, dos others have the same effects' im just curious on how others feel sadness and how they tackle it if it arrive to them so to speak.

sadness is normal, even 'healthy' in some regards.
"chronic sadness" is not.

Unhappiness is essentially a "negative motivator" which has evolved with us over millions of years. Usually when it 'glitches' (causes chronic sadness) it is due to a blend of cognitive, chemical, and environmental reasons. Basically, when something is making us unhappy, but we feel powerless to do anything about it, then sadness can become a very unhelpful chronic condition. If we are psychologically prone to simultaneously feel that we have no control, yet still attach to ourselves full responsibility for the unwanted state of affairs, then the sadness can really spiral out of control into a horrid depression.

There's a chemical component to this as well. In some ways I think that the brain can become addicted to it's own endorphins, and depression can be like an addiction to 'downers' which the brain makes itself. This can cause the unconscious mind to sabotage one's mood to get it's next 'fix'. I'm not certain of just how medically accurate this view is, but I have found it a *very* useful working model which provides a paradigmatic basis for dealing with depression. Whatever the case, depression IS very habit forming.

One very common component to depression is the use of "catastrophization" in one's internal thoughts. For example, if something doesn't go your way, you might think "nothing ever goes my way", or if you don't do something quite like you feel you should, you might think "I can't do anything right". In more severe cases these thoughts might lead to further ruminations like "I'm worthless", etc. But in reality all of these internal statements are totally false. You don't even have to like yourself to realize that these statements are wildly illogical and completely false. One cognitive approach to treating unhappiness is to learn to recognize unrealistic negative thoughts, and 'call them out' on their completely unrealistic nature. For example "nothing ever goes my way... actually that's not true, lots of things go my way, I'm just focusing exclusively on the things that don't, which is pretty biased. Maybe I shouldn't be so unfair to myself."

Try to remember that :
1) a great many things which make you unhappy are actually NOT your fault. and,
2) you have much more control and power than you think you do, if you could foster the self confidence to utilize it.
or in other words, try to gradually shift your perspective from an external locus of control / internal locus of blame, to a much more healthy internal locus of control / realistic locus of blame.

If you have depression, you will not overcome it overnight, but you CAN overcome it. If you're in really bad shape, I recommend seeking out a trained counselor. If they are not helpful drop them and find another one. Unfortunately it's a medical field which is very hit-or-miss in terms of quality of care, and you may have to be a diligent consumer. If necessary there are drugs which can help to make you less depressed. Personally, I feel that the cognitive and environmental aspects of depression are significant enough, that a person *can* treat their depression without drugs. But antidepressants *can* help a person to feel well enough to begin that process, and give them a break from the routine of being depressed (remember that depression is 'habitual'). Personally I feel that antidepressants treat symptoms rather than treating the cause, or offering any 'cure'. But they can be useful.

One common misconception I find in people with chronic depression is a very strong sense of urgency in "being true to oneself" (to one's emotions). While it is important to be true to one's feelings, it is equally important to be realistic and hold your feelings up to rational examination. You should only be true to your feelings when your feelings are being true to you. And they aren't always going to be.

Anyway, sorry if this is technical and dry.
I hope you feel better soulmage

many many thanks Kath, alot of your info/thoughts makes sense to me' what stroke me most was * One common misconception I find in people with chronic depression is a very strong sense of urgency in "being true to oneself" (to one's emotions). While it is important to be true to one's feelings, it is equally important to be realistic and hold your feelings up to rational examination. You should only be true to your feelings when your feelings are being true to you. And they aren't always going to be*.
it dos open my eyes what you have told me i have to be true to what i feel/true to oneself, also i do believe the sadness i feel is an end to something but also a beginning to something new, its just the steps before hand that i must take which seems freaking hard, but ill do it, life is to learn from its just tough sometimes real tough...

Well, you're not alone, i feel that way as well when I'm sad
In one of its worst situation, I kinda lost the feeling to almost anything, not just food and drinks, but also emotions and every external events, feels like no thing matters anymore and i merely want to not exist (not to die, but simply not to exist), I feel that there's a hole in my heart (literally a hole, not just an analogy, but really feel like an empty cave/hole inside, like something missing), in a way, becoming rather numb to the experience that life gives to me

How to tackle it?
Well, through time and positive suggestion/energy it seems, some changes in the details of your life might also help, the sadness will eventually go away when it's energy had run out, just don't let it attract even more negativity to fuel its path if you can

Be true to yourself and try your best not to follow the negative influence to do irrational things that might even drag you deeper into the depths of sorrow in a way, you'll know which to follow and which not to follow eventually, just wait and listen to what your heart said inside you, and examine the irrationality that you might encounter in your mind during these times and try to understand what it is trying to say to you

I guess that's that from me
Hope you feel better (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

yea arkham alot of what you feel i have in common, and it dos help to hear how others tackle sadness, i must admit the sadness made me forget my heart and i've always been a man of heart i do what my heart tells me out of the feelings, and it opened my eyes and heart ones more when i read that i should be true to myself and get some positive energy, im probertly a lucky soul because i do have an angel watching over me, which gives me advices, however i had closed myself, but now im open again and i feel her present and i can hear and feel her guidence, it really helps me' and now i actually feel a pain in my heart insted of an empty void, i get more clear thoughts and feelings now and i force myself not to fall into the pit of sadness which i was about to do real deeply, finally i can see that im not to blame for everything and that helps me alot' im still hurt and sad but atleast im not dwelling in it anymore,, in ways i see an end is coming but an end to a chapter of my life and a new beginning, i appriciate your thoughts and feelings Arkham they truely seem alot like mine, and atleast now food and drinks is starting to have some taste again not just a bitter sadness taste, i do sometimes force myself to think positive and it seems to help too,

hehe, one other helpful hint i totally forgot about:
"avoid sad music"

Seriously, if a recorded series of sounds makes you sad, don't listen to it. This kinda falls under the umbrella of the old computer programming slogan "garbage in - garbage out". Listen to music that makes you happy. And in a similar vein, think about things that make you happy, do things that make you happy, etc. Give your mind something enjoyable to chew on, and don't dwell for long on things that drag your mood down. I'm not suggesting being constantly happy, that would be weird, just don't linger on negative thoughts/subjects for prolonged periods of time. And be conscious that what you think about affects how you feel, which in turn affects what you think about next, which in turn affects how you feel next, etc. It's a vicious cycle, manipulate this system to work in your favor, instead of letting it run amok and spiral into states of mind that aren't fun.



I think that depression is something which works through various channels in the subconscious mind. And I think that in developing the mind, through meditation, and other practices, working towards enlightenment or gnosis... it seems to uncover much of the processes which are running in the background of the mind. Bring them out of the dark and into conscious awareness. And from there, it's much MUCH easier to manage them, and keep them working correctly. I mean, when's the last time you saw a depressed buddhist monk? And it needn't be buddhism, anything which fosters deep inward understanding and the capacity to meditate and/or "think outside yourself", should eventually strip away uncontrollable mood swings. ...probably.

This post has been edited by Kath: Jul 19 2010, 07:32 AM