The Path, ramblings about life and the mind... and me Options

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The path is rough, its insane, I don't really think it exists. Its just a construct of the mind for survival purposes, yet when you question existence in all its insanity and come to the conclusion that there is no purpose or grand scheme of things you become this blimp floating about aimlessly. You can't even call it an anomaly because in respect it is the norm. Yet I still hold this construct in my mind. There is a path that I journey on and where it leads to is the destination, the end, but destination also carries with it the the definition of.....
1. The place to which one is going or directed.
2. The ultimate purpose for which something is created or intended.
3. Archaic An act of appointing or setting aside for a specific purpose.
The path is life and on that path is all things, everything! but its impossible to get the most out of everything so some things just get left aside while drifting on by never knowing if that was the key to understanding the truth of existence.
Imagine it for a moment, its easy, you are it! forget about how you interact with 'reality' because that is a form of manipulation, just absorb the information that surrounds you and contemplate on the nature of things and you might be amazed, surprised, you might even be terrified. I won't lie to you, this 'reality', this life terrifies me! Really try and understand the how and why. In a word, its due to awareness. The fact that I am alive and aware of my own existence, the fact that I am aware of the existence of others, the world, stars, suns, the universe. Its just so daunting. What is this place! no one can answer me with certainty, why should anyone care, about the answer, about me, about yourself. Why do we in the face of oblivion remain steadfast, upholding chosen values and morals.
It is a beautiful thing but what does it mean, it could simply be that certain ways of 'living' provide more comfort than others and so we choose justice over injustice. But what is comfort good for, what will it mean when the universe is no more or simply your own life.
Why is it we have universal laws like gravity, and why do the planets spin.... yeh we can know how, but why. hahahah its completely insane.
Lets say a being so great called God said I was created for a purpose and given a mind for a purpose and my life, this reality that I am aware of was a test, it would still not leave one completely satisfied, how could it, how can satisfaction be attained when its part of the insanity. There really is no escape. Funny thing is, I don't want to escape, I want to conquer. I am the one trampled on by my lack of understanding of this existence and baring in mind that when my body/mind finally gives way and I am no more, void, no mind no thought no awareness of anything then life become more of a challenge, and more desperate. Death is failure. Survival is the only option and yet I know not why I live. If I found the elixir of life and consumed it, never succumbing to death what would that do but perpetuate the insanity. Would I rather live a life of insanity or not live atall. Well I'm alive now so its pretty obvious that I would choose to live, but if I were never born I would never know anything to be able or want to choose. This is where I come back to awareness.
I feel like crawling up in a ball and crying and whats sadder is i'd rather not do that, it gets me nowhere. Where can I go, the path is a tool to get you places but where can you go.......
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Someone out there must be like me, at a complete loss for words, unable to comprehend the magnitude of life.
I came to the occult when I was younger to find answers to life but have found nothing of substance or forgot them.
Can I be helped.... if I can't help myself am I doomed?

At first, a mountain is just a mountain. Then you see the mountain, in all its strange and incomprehensible glory, and see the Earth it came from and the magnificent void that Earth spins through, and even these actions are incomprehensible: why? why should they be? Even when you are down to the bosons and fermions, even if you could map out every movement made by every particle: why should it do that?

Then, finally, the mountain is just a mountain again - because for all the grand and bizarre things that must be in order to make a mountain, it still acts upon you the same way it did before. You have been living with the mountain all along. All that changes is you.

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It seems to me like you are at the second stage in that famous parable (though my version is, of course, slightly altered). I think you just have to understand that there is nothing to fear except pain (and not even that, when you have sufficient control over your body) and nothing to lose - or gain - except pleasure. Do what makes you happy. Me, when I feel overwhelmed... I take some drugs. But that's not for everyone. ;-)

This post has been edited by Vilhjalmr: Apr 17 2009, 07:40 PM

my koans (ideas to meditate on) on the path:

mountain - mountain is earth, and earth is mountain, no distinction

path (magical) - the path is about letting go and being led, not going anywhere for yourself

of course my way is all zen and gooey with past-lives, as it is about moving the awareness to the eternal soul from the physical existence

hey there,
I've heard mention of this famous parable, but I don't think i've ever read the original. If you could direct me to this famous parable that would be great.
Neverless, what I took from your posts is that this mountain we all climb(IMG:http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/al_zaine/climb.jpg) is life.
I'm assuming this mountain has a summit.
All roads lead to Rome, the summit being Rome, yet when you reach the summit and look out you find the mountain descends.....
Its the continuance of the ebb and flow of all things, kind of like an ant walking in an egg box (IMG:http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c136/al_zaine/egg.jpg).

This post has been edited by al_zaine: Apr 19 2009, 01:22 PM

you are probably just having long memories from your eternal self intruding into your present self

this world sucks and we know it does because we remember (even though we are not supposed to)

and then we find out that we are supposed to make it better

this world sucks and we know it does because we remember (even though we are not supposed to)

I have to disagree, this world doesn't suck, just some people do!

and then we find out that we are supposed to make it better

I disagree again, the world doesn't need to be improved, just people, and even that can be questioned. There is nothing written in the heavens that says we should 'improve' things. Its a choice.
Back to the path. It is an illusion, there is no prescribed direction to follow. We are free to go left, right, forward, backward, up, down or just spin around.
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This post has been edited by al_zaine: Apr 30 2009, 11:03 AM

all people could die and the physical world would still suck since its raw and hard and stupid and useless and i sooo remember a much better place, where the light was black and the earth was non-existent, there was no water or fire or air or life or death, no good or evil, and no pain

we don't come back here time and time again because we got it right the last time, we failed the course and here we are again, once again repeating the grade cause we're too stupid to look back and see what the hell we did wrong last time and the time before that and the time before that and the time before that, simply because its hard for the ego to look back at our failures

find your old alignments, fix what's wrong, and the path will become clear - i have met some that could not fix the problem that kept them here as it was impossible to do so without a time machine, and they refused to look for or try to build one because it was too hard or they thought it impossible

a question then, is the purpose of the human to ascend, evolve into something more, simply procreate, or live a full lifetime - why do we bother to be here?

a ship being rudderless and without direction is because no one is holding the rudder and guiding the ship

whining about the path being uphill neither gets you to the top of the mountain faster or makes the path any easier.....

no one will tell you to do this, or do that, simply because that would be wrong, as each must find their own path

This post has been edited by esoterica: May 1 2009, 07:02 AM

all people could die and the physical world would still suck since its raw and hard and stupid and useless and i sooo remember a much better place, where the light was black and the earth was non-existent, there was no water or fire or air or life or death, no good or evil, and no pain

Useless? The "better" place you speak of sounds like the void to me, what use can you get from the void. This place that we're at, Planet Earth, is like a haven for our minds, to create, and participate. Theres more here than you can fit in a lifetime to experience and One can wonder why but I suppose Man can live with only so much before its just plain greed. What you choose to fit in your lifetime, what you choose to experience is essentially what shapes your path, Man is directed by his desires, his wants but more importantly his needs. All a man needs is food, water, clothing and shelter, after that its all filler.

we don't come back here time and time again because we got it right the last time, we failed the course and here we are again, once again repeating the grade cause we're too stupid to look back and see what the hell we did wrong last time and the time before that and the time before that and the time before that, simply because its hard for the ego to look back at our failures

I didn't quite understand this part but i'll try break it down. I don't believe in past lives or that when we die we will come back again, we exist now and that is all we know. Again, show me where we're told by any credible source that this place is a school and if you don't get your grades up you're gunna get an 'F' and have to repeat the session/season/lifetime. Granted, in my life I will more than likely go about my business in the wrong way from time to time and all this does is hinders me until I rectify it but its impossible for me to rectify anything if i'm physically incapable of doing so. People take their misfortunes to the grave with them, and when you're there, you're not, you're nout!

a question then, is the purpose of the human to ascend, evolve into something more, simply procreate, or live a full lifetime - why do we bother to be here?

I appreciate your question and will answer it as I see fit but in no means am I saying it is correct.
Why do we bother being here? well I never chose to be here in the first place, but now that I am here, yes, I can choose to continue staying here or basically commit suicide. Suicide is never the answer, I don't see cows walking off the edge of cliffs to end their 'boring pointless lives'. Why I bother to stay here is hope, a dream, that one day society, Human civilization, will be just that...Civilized. I would say then that we should evolve into a competent civilization.
From an individual perspective, One should evolve into an upstanding citizen, knowing whats right and wrong, knowing when to act or step back, having time to listen and help others and basically just making life easier for everyone else. Not forcefully but because its the right thing to do and you want to do right because its good.
People need to be re-educated and the education system thats in place now needs to be improved because its just not good enough.

whining......

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/confused012.gif) Show some respect.


This post has been edited by al_zaine: May 1 2009, 09:02 AM

>>I don't believe in past lives or that when we die we will come back again, we exist now and that is all we know

and

>>I never chose to be here in the first place

and

>>you want to do right because its good


i give up (IMG:style_emoticons/default/giveup.gif) - you are entitled to your opinion and you still get (IMG:style_emoticons/default/respect.gif), but i'm no longer listening (IMG:style_emoticons/default/Rulezzz_09.gif)

This post has been edited by esoterica: May 1 2009, 03:02 PM