Greetings Options

Greetings everyone. Just making my introduction.

I have been very neglectful of my magickal being for nearly 10 years, and have been feeling the repercussions. I grew up trained in a pagan coven, and feeling the inclination went down the ceremonial path. My High Priestess wasn't a ceremonial magician unfortunately, so my studies there have mostly been self-taught. About that time, I got into an unhealthy relationship with someone and let my magickal side slide. I hated myself for it. It's always been in the back of my head though, always driving me, making me ill that I wasn't allowing myself to be who I truly am.

And I made a decision to change all that. I am rededicating myself to the art. I am cleansing myself and and once again basking in the magick of all that is. I have made poor choices though, and in the negative environment I allowed myself to be in fought my influences in the only way I had known, magically. I am ashamed of myself and of some my actions. I remember who I used to be, and the balance - especially karmically - I used to hold.

As part of my choice, I am seeking to settle my debts. I want to like who I am once again. With this in mind, I stumbled across this forum and was interested in talking with people that have deliberately sought to pay their karmic debts. And yet a part of me asks myself to be sure I have the correct intentions. Is it wise to want such a thing as invoking one's own karma? Should I just proceed with life and be the person I want to be, and allow karma to play its part on its own accord? It's hard for me to do. I like to meet issues head on and fix them so I can move on.

I'm rambling. I'll stop now. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

greetings eso !!!
i think you are a courageous person and think what you are doing is an inspiration to me and everyone else here.

i do not think that wanting to clear karmic debts is a bad intention at all ... just because you are doing it because you know the positive benefits of your life mean you understand a higher way of living for yourself and others. as you embrace that goodness for yourself, including others, your ego expands to include all that you meet, have met, and will meet in your life. working to bring them to a better place because if they are in a better place, and you are in a better place, we create a better place for everyone. karmic debt is something that can be paid off like regular debt ... all at once when you get a windfall, or over time as the debt becomes conscious or the bill comes in the mail. some debt is monthly that keeps coming and coming ... receive it as what it is, something to be paid and discharged as soon as possible, just like that cable bill.

welcome to the forum!