Depression Options

Sigh.

I have been thinking about why i dont like where my life is.

I posted a topic motivation, thinking im too lazy.

i just wanted to avoid the simple truth.

I FAIL.

If soul's were eggs, mine would be a cracked easter egg filled with puss.

I cant keep a connversation.

i have no focus.

i put max effort into everything and maintain a positive attidude, and even add assistance with magic.

the magic fails.

i fail.

If i was a tarrot card i'd be the fool, devoid of any positive or negative qualities.

im just there,

a waste.


no one respects me.

no matter how much i respect myself.

its all in vain.

if you cant walk the walk, then talking the talk is just a load.

I try i try.

ive been training my body relentlessly

my spirit magically.

but im still to slow.

soul just stagnates and dies.

i was rejected by every girl i asked out.

most of them reply as if i was less than human.

I dont get picked last for sports because i dont even get picked.

even when the gym teachers are picking teams they leave me out.

my retarded classmate looks at me as if i was a circus freak.

because i am one.

effort and a positive attitude dont mean anything.

If they did then i would have seen the results ive been working on since i was a child.

but i never will.

thats the way the world works.

i see that now.

Fast results rarely exist in such matters. Time, experience and a mature attitude will build you into a confident person. But it is a process that takes years. That doesn't mean there is no hope. In fact to the contrary it means there is nothing but hope - unless you delve back into a state of stagnation and allow yourself to get stuch there.