QUOTE(Naberius @ Apr 6 2007, 02:07 AM)
My reasons for allowing that bit above to weigh ever-so-lightly on my thoughts are stepped in introspection. A little while back, I asked myself: why oh why did you decide to practice magick? What were your intentions in doing so? Most importantly, what effect are those intentions having on your progression in the craft? It was at this point, exactly, that the often quoted bit about intention and Hell came to mind. Sure, my intention for practicing the craft is one of sooth-seeking (a positive) in a world full of lies and uncertainties, but is my quest for truth leading me toward a Hell of sorts, one of unintended consequence (a negative)? I realized that I was entertaining too many threads of thought at once, and I attempted to answer each question posed to myself one-by-one.
First let me say that this a good thing to think about over the course of your magickal career - presumably the rest of your life if you're lucky - and the more you are able to see through those layers of reality, the deeper you'll be able to look into your own psyche and spirit, and recognize ever deeper intentions. Good work.
I think that everyone may have a different philosophy on this, because it takes a particular kind of attitude to balance our individual weaknesses in this regard. So, discovering your weaknesses is important. Some people may be very humble natural, but prone to delusion, and so magick leads them into illusion and separates them from reality. On the other hand, someone may be perfectly in tune with reality, but prone to pride, and so they become megalomaniacs and lose touch with reality that way.
For me, the best way to keep grounded and pressing onward instead of bound up in some particular achievement or plateau is to consider the universe an eternal mystery that always has an infinite amount of mystery left to be solved, regardless to what I think I know. I choose to believe that no answer will be sufficient to any observation, and so I am careful not to get attached to my observations and assumptions. There is always room for more explanation, and reasonable contradictions don't have to imply that one or the other is necessarily false. To guard against the confusion, I adopted a paradigm from hinduism in which there is only one core, ineffable, perfectly still truth of being. I find that it makes a strong root - regardless of the contradictions, illusions, false assumptions, or mutable opinions, there is ultimately only the simple truth of the experience of being; and in light of that, I am able to simply observe reality, through whatever lens I choose, without being torn apart by what it shows me.
Remembering the vastness of the universe keeps me and many other mages humble - no matter the scope of your ability, no matter how much energy you have, what kind of change you can affect in your world, anything we do, at least at this level of existence, ultimately is just one tiny fluctuation in the span of all existence and being. Remembering that while dealing with our own microcosm makes us mindful of the interplay between our vulnerable form and the invincible universe, and helps us remember not to be prideful, and to grow with grace.
In the course of some individual's mystical development, they see wonderful things that make it easy to love existence, and things which make them fear existence. Sometimes the psyche can take a serious blow from either extreme, and cause overwhelming paranoia, depression, listlessness, and delusion. But, simply reminding oneself that magick is a path through life like any other tends to help keep the worldly life in perspective - not that it's a similar path to any other, but regardless to what you practice or achieve, you still have to wake up, eat, sleep, etc., like any other mortal if you want to keep that body; and of course recognizing the benefits of having it in the first place.
Recognize your intentions, decide what the weak points are in your personality, develop a paradigm that balances those weaknesses out, and protects you against your self. Over time, root them out, see where they come from, and correct them as you're able to see further inside. Always be willing to accept that you are as yet a flawed being, already in need of improvement. it's not self-deprication, but a humble view of your own being as in need of growth - after all if you didn't need it, you wouldn't be doing magick, right?
peace