Something that used to happen all the time when I was younger, especially when I was around 13-15 has started happening the odd time to me lately again. Its not just sleep paralysis but while im paralysed just as im fallling asleep I can consciously watch all the stages of me falling asleep. Its truly intersting shit. First thing right after Im paralysed is I hear a loud ringing or winding rushing in my ear sound and I get the feeling of my face caving in. Well thats the best way I can explain it anyway.

A weird thing I notice is when it happens to me which is very rare nowadays is it happens over and over again in one night. I start to fall asleep and for some reason Im fully aware of it and something scares the crap outta me so I pull myself back out of the sleep state. Its never easy waking myself up I always struggle and have to try and move my shoulders from side to side until I actually do. Most of the time what scares me is I see these black shadows or figures flying around the room and seemingly pulling myself into the sleep state. Im usually uneasy about the idea of me falling asleep in the presence of these shadows so I give it all I have and wake myself up. Its always a hard thing to do for me pulling myself out of paralasys.

A long time ago I learned to get over the fear barrier and just observe the situation without reacting to it. Its some interesting shit. Its usually fairly fast between the state when Im paralysed and seeing black until the point where I start visualising and creating images. I read in one of Robert Monroes books that this point between wake and sleep is the best time to leave your body and astral travel. Everytime I find myself conscious of falling asleep I try to leave my body but never with any success. Ive actually become pretty good at slowly falling asleep and pulling myself out not enough to be fully awake but just enough so I dont fall into unconscious sleep.

My attempts to leave my body in these states only result in lucid dreams but fairly potent ones. I always have a dream that Ive left my body but every time I consider the possibility of it being a dream and thats when I realize it is.

What am I doing wrong here?? How come I only end up in a lucid dream instead of actually leaving my body when Im bordering between sleep and wake?