First, it was not too badly placed, I just thought it was more appropriate here, and I hoped there would be more answers to what I think are good questions for discussion.
Second your English is fine, not perfect but better then many people who use it naturally, including myself often. I recommend continued use and study, but you got your thoughts across and that is one of the major goals of language.
I “LOVE” using the driving a car comparison when describing all things mythical. It has many of the same qualities. The only difference is the fact that there is no law enforcement in magick, and you don’t get the fast car or huge truck through other means then yourself, or what you are born with.
But it fits very well in describing the changes from reading and doing. It also describes the dangers. Often as long as you are aware of things, you are fine. If you are not paying attention…you might be in trouble. On a very remote occasion, someone else’s carelessness or perhaps deliberately can cause you harm.
You use the word evoke a lot. In magickal discussions it has certain connections to certain practices. I am not sure your meaning, but I guess you mean it as “to bring forth something into reality”. While this is correct use of the word, it is not the normal use in the context of this forum. Here it is normally used when speaking of entities of some sort or another.
Having a bit of tension is normal, it can be from nervousness, anticipation, not sure you are doing it right, or even frustration or anger. But at it’s best when you gain more practice and stay in practice, this goes away, much like driving a car.
Now I am going to say some things, what you did was fine, but a little forced, you need to relax a bit more, allow whatever comes to come, whatever does not does not. (I know it is often not so simple, but that is the best place to be.)
My recommendations:
Do work on visualization, but not while doing astral travel, practice it before, or at other times. When I say visualization, I mean all the sensations, including emotions.
In astral travel start with visualization and then let whatever comes to come. If something is not going as you wish, or you have a plan, then gently nudge your consciousness in that direction. Don’t force the concept of grass, of wind, of the smell of the air…you might be missing some great experiences that come naturally by forcing what you expect on the scene.
If a thought comes that you do not want “what time is it, oh no I need to go to sleep soon…crap I don’t want to think about that” instead of being mad, simply thank your mind or thought machine for the thought and move on back to the traveling.
That said, another very powerful thing for me is sensation memory. About 30% of the time if I can remember how something felt (probably more often if I can remember it better). I can place myself in almost the exact same state without as much work. If I have not been doing it often…a few months have passed, it takes a lot of work for me to be relaxed and detached enough to go forward.
As to where it is we go when we astral travel, is it something we “dream up”?
I can answer this in many ways and there are many opinions, I have a few just myself. However, based on my experience, I think we go to a collective place, where our mind describes it based on our own thoughts and our own experiences, however it is different for every person, because of our minds are the filter in how we experience it.
For example, take the next line:
The outside walls where strong and stretched into the sky.
Now your mind made a very quick visualization of that. You saw these walls.
What color are the walls? What material are they made of? What is the ground like in front of them? What does the sky that they stretch into look like? How tall are they? How wide? And on and on and on. All that was given to you by a filter of your life experiences. Now when traveling the astral, we are dealing with very subtle things. Things that would normally not get noticed at all, our filters fill in the gaps. As you move on in practice you will try and bring less and less of your own impressions, but you will always fill in the gaps. Your coloring in of the gaps will be different then mine.
So in describing the same event in the astral, you will give a totally different impression then I would, and both would be correct. There are things and events that would not be so different, I will get to those in a bit.
However, as you practice, you will be ok with the shifting nature of things, you will allow your first impressions to be wrong and to reform something, and then for that thing to change again as you learn more about it.
Energy is an odd thing when doing this. You may feel great before, and totally full of life and energy after…ready to party into the morning, but the next day and the week after you are drained. I am not clear on why, but remember to eat well.
Before doing this I recommend light meals with fruits and vegetables, after you are done, heavy foods are good, they help you come back down to earth. If you are going to do this for a few days, keep it light, but get protein from nuts and dried fruits.
As far as keeping your body, or becoming something else, everyone does this as they see fit. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, I am not great looking but symmetrical. I am not very fit at the moment, but I can move furniture and do exercise well enough. I feel I can defend myself well enough to make someone remember me for a few days no matter their size…even though I might remember them for the rest of my life.
So I usually travel as myself, it is not at all necessary and may point to vanity, lack of imagination or fear of the unknown…I am not sure I care to explore that, but I might. I have at times not been myself, those times are odd, and not forced in any way by me, they just happen.
Your misunderstanding of the following:
QUOTE
My description of the feelings of others, this has been hard won over the years. In total I have only done it with perhaps 20 people who had about as much experience as myself. I am not sure I like those concepts of myself.
This was poorly worded and referring to my post in the poll.
I have been involved in group travel or “group guided meditation” this is always something I do with some apprehension, because if I totally get into the meditation, my relationship with the people I do it with is changed forever. Usually in ways I had no conscious cause in.
In regular life, in the last 10 years or so, I try my best to put things in context, that is, explaining my reason for saying something. I do this so people know I am not just trying to hurt their feelings. Before I was much more direct, and if time does not allow me to put things in context, I say it much more delicately.
When I am in the astral plane I am very direct, if I am exploring I am exploring. If I am looking for something, I am looking for something. I do not get into idle conversations, I often do not get into conversations. In group meditation, when we are in it all as a group, this gets noted by the more sensitive ones. In some moments it just gets noticed by everyone. If they recognize it to be me, their filters create me as something most people are not comfortable with.
Of the people whose opinion I value in this topic, either it is cold or predatory. For those that knew me very well before, it was not a total shock, but it was a sudden confirmation. When I talk tough about my past, I am backing it up with resolve, and a way of being that I have not completely let go of being even if I do my best to keep in mind other people.
For the people who do not know me well, or thought of me as just another nice, pleasant person, who would not hurt a soul, they saw the opposite in such a strong fashion. I am not a nice pleasant person who would not hurt a soul or the opposite, but their filters, the only possible images from their life experience, they put on me had them jump there.
It is something very present for me right now, as I am trying to repair a relationship with someone, who is still a bit scared of that image she has of me.
So it is others I am in a group meditation/astral voyage with, that I was referring to, not people/things I met on my travels.
Meeting astral entities:
I have come to the conclusion recently, that all the “demons” of importance, I have met in my travels where more likely angels in the classic sense. They each taught me something good for myself and for those around me. So far that exchange has been mostly one sided, and there has been no agreement otherwise. Also the angels/guides I have come across, have been the same, just more pleasant to be around. What is to say they where not the same thing, just giving a slightly different essence to teach me something?
Then again, I have crossed paths and have done combat with some pretty terrible things, but it has always been direct, no false sense of security and attack when my guard is down. It has been me walking into it knowing I might have to fight.
What is it all?
Somewhere I know I posted the three possibilities, I will summarize here for sake of completeness.
1. All in your head.
2. The collective unconscious of humanity and possibly beyond.
3. A totally different place or universe.
I can argue that you can not tell the difference, so it does not matter what it is. The only exception is that I have had shared experiences. That leads me to think it is 2 or 3…but I might be wrong and it is all 1.
In the end I am not sure it matters too much, you just have to stay aware of treating your fellow man/woman with respect. That probably includes not upsetting people who don’t have an experience that allows them to discuss or understand these types of topics.
You mention subconscious pollution in your post, you mention it as if it is a bad thing. It is not a standard term in English, but I think I understand your meaning.
Classic eastern tradition meditation techniques do a lot, but they do not allow you to see your shadow self. Western hermetic magick if it is “all in your head” allows you to do this in a much healthier fashion then acting it out by yelling and screaming at people, or much more destructive behavior that usually accompanies not exploring your shadow subconscious.
Western psychoanalysis is probably the best technique for exploring this, however it is expensive, in most cases. I am currently looking into doing it for about a year, but I am not sure how or what approach to take and the cost. Someone who “does not need it” and is not stressed or feeling depressed or any of that makes it just an expensive field trip, I would rather go on an extended vacation/adventure for the price, but I still want to do it.
I hope this helps, and I hope others answer, because I am wrong.
Your questions all seemed well thought out, and I enjoyed exploring them a bit. Don’t be afraid to ask and no need to apologize, worst I would do is not answer or insult you…
Insults are fun, but they do not add much to the conversation, and are nothing one should care much about. As for not answering, I may be bored with the topic, or have nothing new that I feel is constructive, or hope for someone else’s opinion to the same questions to get a broader vision.
In the end I am some freak on the other end of a cable typing into buttons, don’t put too much value in my reaction one way or another, just see it, look at it, try it on for a few seconds, see how it fits. If you like it keep it for yourself if not, discard it. Or you can keep it for later as you might change and it fits better at that point. But never let fear of the reaction of people you do not care about stop you from seeking knowledge.
Lastly, you are very welcome, and I have one question for you?
What is the significance of:
93 at the beginning of the post.
And 93 93/93 at the end. If it is something better left unsaid…that is answer enough, but I am at least interested.