Is She Watching Over Me? Options

I'm going to start off by saying that none of this is melodramatic crap. I'm sure it will sound like it, but it's not.

My grandmother died when my older sister was three, two years before I was born. My mother was her favorite, and the two were very close. My grandmother had been suffering from Multiple Myeloma for many years at that point, and was bedridden on the verge of death. She was good to my mother, but my grandfather was not good to her and it made her unhappy. I was born shortly after she died and I'm sure a few times over the years I've prayed a few prayers or thought a few thoughts wishing that I could just meet her and get to know her (my mom always said I would've been my grandmother's "cup of tea"). Well there's an old clock in our house that came from my grandparents' house after my grandfather was moved to a home (hey, cut us some slack, he had dementia and he wasn't a very nice father... I'm not sure if any of his children wanted to be around him... probably why he died alone). The clock has been here my entire life (my grandfather died when I was roughly two weeks old). On random days it releases a strong scent of woodsmoke. No, I don't mean lingering smoke after we have a fire that seems to be coming from the clock, I mean that it pours the scent over the entire ground floor of my house on random days from sunny and humid summer days to icy and dry winter days.

Well one time I was walking on the island I go to in Maine (which is VERY haunted IMO... it's littered with WWI and WWII battlements and my house is haunted by some unknown spirit which we name Mrs Cushings) and felt something bad. No, I don't mean "I'm walking in the dark on a rural island with nobody around me so I'll act like there's a ghost," because I am pretty much nocturnal up there. I mean I felt it creeping up on me. I was being stalked like prey and it was starting to freak me out a little. It's pretty damn hard to freak me out... I don't have any particular fears just pet peeves I like to avoid. For instance, I don't fear spiders but i'd rather be far from one than close to it just because they're not something I'm partial to. Anyway, this wasn't scaring me because that island is my spiritual center... it carries a piece of me even when I'm in Rome, Eleuthra, Carmel, or any other city I've been to. The point is that I knew I could deal with most things up there. However I was a little anxious. The alarm bells going off in my head weren't alarm bells like what happens when I walk down a city street at night, they were primal, basic instincts telling me I was going to die. I wasn't afraid because I don't fear death, but I was... displeased at the prospect of whatever this thing was desecrating my island with a murder. I was prepared to deal with it, but I wasn't sure I would win. I glimpsed a large mound of shadow creeping alongside the path just a ways behind me. I wasn't sure what to do (this was before my "formal" introduction to the occult; I could perform basic elemental magic but it wasn't really under my control, and my purifying powers were more limited at that point), so I started to walk a little faster. I suddenly felt something press against my back and my throat being squeezed, not enough to choke me but too much for comfort. I started to freak a little when the scent of woodsmoke smashed into me like a wall and I distinctly remember thinking "grammy." Then the feeling disappeared, not gradually but immediately. I walked home with woodsmoke drifting around me like a blanket. Before you say "smoke from another house," I would like to say that there are a total of sixteen houses on the island (so few I can count them) and none of them were anywhere near me, nor are we allowed to build fires during a drought, which it was. This was really my first intense "experience" with the paranormal aside from the occasional ghost sighting (I have a strange sort of sight that I've not heard about from anyone else... not relevant to this post specifically but if you want to know I'm more than willing to share). Let me know what you think!!
Thanks.

I'm going to start off by saying that none of this is melodramatic crap. I'm sure it will sound like it, but it's not.

My grandmother died when my older sister was three, two years before I was born. My mother was her favorite, and the two were very close. My grandmother had been suffering from Multiple Myeloma for many years at that point, and was bedridden on the verge of death. She was good to my mother, but my grandfather was not good to her and it made her unhappy. I was born shortly after she died and I'm sure a few times over the years I've prayed a few prayers or thought a few thoughts wishing that I could just meet her and get to know her (my mom always said I would've been my grandmother's "cup of tea"). Well there's an old clock in our house that came from my grandparents' house after my grandfather was moved to a home (hey, cut us some slack, he had dementia and he wasn't a very nice father... I'm not sure if any of his children wanted to be around him... probably why he died alone). The clock has been here my entire life (my grandfather died when I was roughly two weeks old). On random days it releases a strong scent of woodsmoke. No, I don't mean lingering smoke after we have a fire that seems to be coming from the clock, I mean that it pours the scent over the entire ground floor of my house on random days from sunny and humid summer days to icy and dry winter days.

Well one time I was walking on the island I go to in Maine (which is VERY haunted IMO... it's littered with WWI and WWII battlements and my house is haunted by some unknown spirit which we name Mrs Cushings) and felt something bad. No, I don't mean "I'm walking in the dark on a rural island with nobody around me so I'll act like there's a ghost," because I am pretty much nocturnal up there. I mean I felt it creeping up on me. I was being stalked like prey and it was starting to freak me out a little. It's pretty damn hard to freak me out... I don't have any particular fears just pet peeves I like to avoid. For instance, I don't fear spiders but i'd rather be far from one than close to it just because they're not something I'm partial to. Anyway, this wasn't scaring me because that island is my spiritual center... it carries a piece of me even when I'm in Rome, Eleuthra, Carmel, or any other city I've been to. The point is that I knew I could deal with most things up there. However I was a little anxious. The alarm bells going off in my head weren't alarm bells like what happens when I walk down a city street at night, they were primal, basic instincts telling me I was going to die. I wasn't afraid because I don't fear death, but I was... displeased at the prospect of whatever this thing was desecrating my island with a murder. I was prepared to deal with it, but I wasn't sure I would win. I glimpsed a large mound of shadow creeping alongside the path just a ways behind me. I wasn't sure what to do (this was before my "formal" introduction to the occult; I could perform basic elemental magic but it wasn't really under my control, and my purifying powers were more limited at that point), so I started to walk a little faster. I suddenly felt something press against my back and my throat being squeezed, not enough to choke me but too much for comfort. I started to freak a little when the scent of woodsmoke smashed into me like a wall and I distinctly remember thinking "grammy." Then the feeling disappeared, not gradually but immediately. I walked home with woodsmoke drifting around me like a blanket. Before you say "smoke from another house," I would like to say that there are a total of sixteen houses on the island (so few I can count them) and none of them were anywhere near me, nor are we allowed to build fires during a drought, which it was. This was really my first intense "experience" with the paranormal aside from the occasional ghost sighting (I have a strange sort of sight that I've not heard about from anyone else... not relevant to this post specifically but if you want to know I'm more than willing to share). Let me know what you think!!
Thanks.

Wow, that's a lot to take in.
First off, I'll say 'sorry for your losses', but that's probably not what you want to hear. Opinions; I'll see what I can think up of.

Your grandfather may have treated her wrongly because he was happy himself? If you think your grandmother is around, do you think he is too? Maybe the 'bad' feeling you felt was him. A spirit who loves you wouldn't harm you, I would think. Maybe s/he did send out that uneasy feeling because they wanted you to know that she (I'll just say that) was there.
First time I tried to contact my guides I got that choking feeling to, but they just sensed that I freaked out a bit for a second and backed off. Perhaps that's what they were doing too?
Have you considered it was your grandfather? If you smelt the smoke and you had that feeling that you were 'going to die', and if you think your grandmother is watching over you, why would she do that?
Do you know if you have any mediumistic abilities of any sorts (seen, heard, felt things, been told by really good 'psychics', or a combo of these)? Perhaps one/both of them are after something? Sorry, that probably sounded cheesy, like Ghost Whisperer.

BB,
Rae

Wow, that's a lot to take in.
First off, I'll say 'sorry for your losses', but that's probably not what you want to hear. Opinions; I'll see what I can think up of.

Your grandfather may have treated her wrongly because he was happy himself? If you think your grandmother is around, do you think he is too? Maybe the 'bad' feeling you felt was him. A spirit who loves you wouldn't harm you, I would think. Maybe s/he did send out that uneasy feeling because they wanted you to know that she (I'll just say that) was there.
First time I tried to contact my guides I got that choking feeling to, but they just sensed that I freaked out a bit for a second and backed off. Perhaps that's what they were doing too?
Have you considered it was your grandfather? If you smelt the smoke and you had that feeling that you were 'going to die', and if you think your grandmother is watching over you, why would she do that?
Do you know if you have any mediumistic abilities of any sorts (seen, heard, felt things, been told by really good 'psychics', or a combo of these)? Perhaps one/both of them are after something? Sorry, that probably sounded cheesy, like Ghost Whisperer.

My grandfather was just rude and egotistical, that's the problem there. I don't think he would harm me and I don't think he's still here; I think he's moved on to wherever there is for men to move on to.

I can see the form of an entity like a shadow and I feel things all the time. I may not have explained this correctly; i felt like I was going to die and THEN the smoke showed up and it stopped. Actually, the same thing happened the other night (i was just nervous, not in any serious danger). I'm pretty sure that my guides are two: St. Michael to give advice and power and my grandmother to protect me. They both take the forms of cats in the corner of my eye; my grandmother is borwn and tan fur and average domestic size. St. Michael is more like a white and grey wild cat of some sort (saval-sized?). But I think I have this figured out. Thanks (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Also, I did discover that there's a horrifying demonic presence on the island, so I'm not surprised it attacked me - the fort where it dwells in shadows was lit and filled with merriment that night, so it was probably enraged and forced out... where it encountered me.

My grandfather was just rude and egotistical, that's the problem there. I don't think he would harm me and I don't think he's still here; I think he's moved on to wherever there is for men to move on to.

I can see the form of an entity like a shadow and I feel things all the time. I may not have explained this correctly; i felt like I was going to die and THEN the smoke showed up and it stopped. Actually, the same thing happened the other night (i was just nervous, not in any serious danger). I'm pretty sure that my guides are two: St. Michael to give advice and power and my grandmother to protect me. They both take the forms of cats in the corner of my eye; my grandmother is borwn and tan fur and average domestic size. St. Michael is more like a white and grey wild cat of some sort (saval-sized?). But I think I have this figured out. Thanks (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Also, I did discover that there's a horrifying demonic presence on the island, so I'm not surprised it attacked me - the fort where it dwells in shadows was lit and filled with merriment that night, so it was probably enraged and forced out... where it encountered me.

If you know the answer deep down, you don't need help. Do you know how the demon got there?

If you know the answer deep down, you don't need help. Do you know how the demon got there?

I figured it out recently... I posted this a while ago.

I have no idea how it got there, but I'm going to get it out next year.

I figured it out recently... I posted this a while ago.

I have no idea how it got there, but I'm going to get it out next year.

I don't know how you plan to do that, but good luck. Be careful, too.

I don't know how you plan to do that, but good luck. Be careful, too.

Haha there are certain places where nothing can overcome me, and that island is one of them - I can blast anything on it, and I plan to become better at it over the course of the year so that next year I can go back and go over the island and get rid of all the negative energy and spirits (there are actually quite a few...)

Haha there are certain places where nothing can overcome me, and that island is one of them - I can blast anything on it, and I plan to become better at it over the course of the year so that next year I can go back and go over the island and get rid of all the negative energy and spirits (there are actually quite a few...)

I don't mean just physical or psychically. Also ego wise too. I have no doubt you're psychically and emotionally strong, but some spirits (earthbound or not) are very intellegent and can hold back, I would think.
Not saying you're arrogant, sorry if that's what it sounds like, but just saying, when working around a malevolent prescence, don't try to predict it. Keep your guard up.

I have no doubt you're psychically and emotionally strong

That's a big assumption ha

That's a big assumption ha

That was unnecessarily rude and derisive to Rae and I. To be honest, you know nothing about me and you just made a huge assumption that she was wrong. You may think that I'm contradicting myself because I'm hurt by what you said, but I am not hurt. I just do not take people disrespecting me to my face like you have. So far to my eyes you've shown a huge amount of egotism and condescension since you joined this forum. I won't pick fights, but I will not turn the other cheek to an intentional insult. You do what you want, but keep me out of it because I have no patience for rude and unnecessary remarks like that. If the fact that it was so disrespectful wasn't enough, you weren't part of this thread. I would have welcomed a constructive and helpful post, but that was not one. That was just cruel, useless and the antithesis of anything I want to hear. Keep in mind that as far as I'm concerned (and I think this goes for a lot of people on here), what you say says more about you than the subject of your speech, and the fact that you need to run in and put people down like that says a lot about who you are and how you feel about yourself. And let me tell you, it says nothing good. But I digress. Back to the relevant post.

Rae, I completely understand where you're coming from and you're right. The island happens to be my grandmother's burial ground and where her influence is strongest, so I'm not worried about being harmed. As far as my power goes... I can basically bulldoze the whole island if I want to. I used the large-scale protective shielding spell I put in the Box of Spells forum and modified it extensively; I can now control the whole island as far as the elements are concerned... which means everything.

Dude I meant nothing negative towards you but that is a bit of an assumption. If she said "I don't trust you at all" I would have said whoa, that's assuming quite a bit. You can always -rep me or something if you don't feel what I say is appropriate. Anyway I'm calling it as I see it. I did not say what I thought about you, and I'm not going to because it's not the place and it doesn't fit in to the conversation. So I just saw someone say something that I felt was going out on a limb when really reservation probably would be more appropriate. But I didn't want to point it would like that so I just said that's an assumption. I even wrote "ha" so it would be taken more as a lighthearted observation that a serious judgment.

But I am sorry, honestly I could have said that nicer or not at all. I wouldn't not point it out if I could change it but I would make it nicer. Fair enough? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bye.gif)

EDIT:"So far to my eyes you've shown a huge amount of egotism and condescension since you joined this forum." oh well I hope everyone doesn't think that. But I don't have 20/20 vision when it comes to myself. Maybe you could point it out when you notice it? The worst stuff (I imagine anyway) that I say is usually truthful observations. I didn't say always accurate observations but I'm not lying when I say something like this. Maybe if you point this stuff out from now on, or give examples of why you think this because I don't know what you're referring to. I don't mind at all but if you would rather PM then feel free.

This post has been edited by ☞Tomber☜: Aug 18 2010, 08:11 PM

Dude I meant nothing negative towards you but that is a bit of an assumption. If she said "I don't trust you at all" I would have said whoa, that's assuming quite a bit. You can always -rep me or something if you don't feel what I say is appropriate. Anyway I'm calling it as I see it. I did not say what I thought about you, and I'm not going to because it's not the place and it doesn't fit in to the conversation. So I just saw someone say something that I felt was going out on a limb when really reservation probably would be more appropriate. But I didn't want to point it would like that so I just said that's an assumption. I even wrote "ha" so it would be taken more as a lighthearted observation that a serious judgment.

But I am sorry, honestly I could have said that nicer or not at all. I wouldn't not point it out if I could change it but I would make it nicer. Fair enough? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bye.gif)

I apologize for the misunderstanding - tone doesn't come across over the internet (IMG:style_emoticons/default/oops.gif) I thought you were insulting me. My bad (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif)
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/00000002.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/respect.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/spider.gif)

No, that spider didn't have anything to do with anything, but it was too awesome to not put in.

"tone doesn't come across over the internet" yeah so true

Lol now I have to try it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/spider.gif) yeah it is sweet ha

This post has been edited by ☞Tomber☜: Aug 18 2010, 08:15 PM

Tomber is just trying to point things out. Sometimes things like that happen to me too, I don't realize what'll sound/seem like I'm saying (and not the thing I meant to say) till I already sent it.

Ethereal, I don't want to sound offensive either, but you remind me of 'jack of all trades, master of none' in ways. It sounds like you can do a lot, and your grandmother is probably protecting you too, but how much experience have you actually had with demons/ 'evil' spirits?

This post has been edited by Rae: Aug 19 2010, 12:10 PM

how much experience have you actually had with demons/ 'evil' spirits?

Well for starters I live with one, which does me some good (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif) and also the island is pretty dotted with them, Actually, the reason I'm waiting for next year to do it and not going back even though i have the opportunity to is because I don't think I'm strong enough at the moment to deal with whatever's in there; I'm going to wait and experiment and let the veil weaken it before I return and get it out for good.

I don't think I'm strong enough at the moment to deal with whatever's in there

That's the response I was hoping for (sorry, may sound strange). There is another quote somewhere saying 'pride will be your downfall'. Not saying you're too proud, but when I have seen your posts, you do describe cool things, but you never have said that it was (nearly) too much. At least from what I've seen. Good to know that you've still got one foot on the ground. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Do you have any spells or anything to help you?