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New To Forum And Need Your Help |
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adreamer |
Nov 7 2011, 02:54 PM
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Initiate
Posts: 5
Age: N/A Gender: Male
Reputation: none
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I am new to the forum, and do not have a lot of experience in some of the areas discussed on this website. However, I have read a number of postings and replies and feel confident that there is an immense amount of knowledge, wisdom from some of the contributors on here.
Therefore, I am asking for help with an issue that has been with me now since the 26th November 1996.
Since 1996, I seem to have been stalked by an entity that obviously has a very personal issue with me. In fact over the last 15 years he has appeared in any way that he can manage to.
He has formed in mirrors and reflections and seems to need my attention or in order to progressively form or appear. I have learnt not to focus on him when i sense him around me ( if this makes sense ) . He manipulates electricity, has marked my physically and although I am a strong individual - the situation can bring me down.
In my journey to find help, I have been given different suggestions about what this could be:
A spiritual emergency leading me to evaluate my life and behaviours. A lesson from God to remind me of my calling to the priesthood that I decided not to follow. A past life issue with this particular person I was told that I was once part of a group that I broke away from in this or other life times. Random demonic attacks ( if they occur )
I am basically a pretty average guy happy in my career and have been with the same company for 26 years. I am in a stable loving relationship and have a strong commitment to supporting others and seeking a peaceful healing path in life in general. I am usually the life and soul of a party, laugh a lot and enjoy good life in general.
My personal intuition leads me in a few directions of thought.
1. I feel that this could be a generational issue my biological mother who is now deceased has appeared with this entity, and I have been told that he trapped her at her time of passing ( can this happen ). 2. I have approached the church for exorcism which they conducted twice but found nothing within me. 3. I have sought help from medical professionals who feel that in the light of the paranormal activity that I experience I seem very balanced. 4. I hold down a good job , form relationships easily and have a lot of good friends However this is not something that I feel I can discuss at dinner loll 5. It could be my deceased biological father with whom I had a bad relationship 6. I have no history of any mental health issue that could explain this situation
Last year, in August the Catholic Church performed the Holy right of exorcism upon me (twice). One month after the exorcism, the priest who performed it was diagnosed with cancer of the liver, and my step mother had a stroke. The entity appeared as he always does (whistling behind me to announce his arrival) and showed me that my mother would die. Mum died at 0240 on the 6th June
..6th of the 6th at 0240 After reading this you may be thinking who is this mad guy , and if so I have no issue with that. Believe me I too thought these things only happened in horror films. Having time reading replies to posts on here, I feel that there may be some one who can assist me to identify who and why these attacks ( for a better word ) are occurring . If this is an entity that my ego or spiritual self has manifested then I will be relieved, but if as I suspect this is an external attack that feed on my fear and insecurities then I would like to know how to deal with it and what he ( they ) want we me.
If you have the time or feel that you could help me, or lead me to a person or people that could assist I would greatly appreciate it
Kind Regards Adreamer
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If you think you are too insignificant to make a difference ...tell that to a mosquito
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Vagrant Dreamer |
Nov 7 2011, 11:37 PM
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Practicus
Posts: 1,184
Age: N/A Gender: Male
From: Atlanta, Georgia Reputation: 51 pts
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Well, a good place to start is to evaluate what possible attraction might have existed in the first place to bring this, we'll call it for now, 'entity' into your life. What was your life like during the first occurrence and the period leading up to it?
Not to be condescending, but there is a generally circulated belief that there are astral/spiritual 'nasties' out and about that attach themselves to people either at random, or because some individual has a particular bright purpose/spirit/potential/destiny/etc. Avoid both of these lines of thought. The first one is a general fearmongering tactic long used by people as an excuse for why someone shouldn't be playing around with "forces they don't understand" (or a means of gratifying the ego with stories of how awesome one is for blasting astral maggots and whatnot into oblivion with their super-cool powers) and the other is a fairy tale made up by people having problems who want to feel special - or who want to convince other people they are special in the interest of getting their money from them.
If there is something attached to you, you invited it in some way. Now, I'm not saying it's "all your fault" precisely, but we do something on some level that in a way makes a kind of agreement - if it sounds vague, it's because these entities aren't like we are, they don't deal in concretes like we prefer to, our actions, our thoughts, our desires can create these agreements.
So, tell us the story of your life in as much detail - though without exposing yourself, as it were, and as you prefer - as you can just prior to and during the first encounter you had. This will shed valuable light on the matter - understanding the conditions in which the phenomenon arises often reveals the "why" and this leads us to the "what" and the "what do we do now".
peace
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The world is complicated - that which makes it up is elegantly simplistic, but infinitely versatile.
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Imperial Arts |
Nov 8 2011, 01:09 AM
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Zelator
Posts: 307
Age: N/A Gender: Male
From: Las Vegas Reputation: 18 pts
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The 26th of November is a pretty specific date for establishing the beginning of this spirit in your life. What happened on that date, and what events led up to it?
To what degree does this phenomenon intrude upon your ordinary life? Does it impair your ability in some way or is it just creepy and connected to unpleasant events? Does its influence have any value to you?
Does this appear as an aspect of your own face, as in a reflection, or does it appear independently? By "giving attention" do you mean a focused concentration or merely casually thinking about it, such as might be occurring as you discuss it here?
I am intrigued that your situation is presented in a sincere way and that you made some effort to convey stability and a relatively conventional background.
There are special protocols for exorcism that the Church must follow, one of which is a psychological examination. They want to offer exorcism and not mental health care, and they certainly want defense against lawsuits. Every exorcism must be approved by the bishop.
That can be a problem. Some bishops are really into the exorcism thing, some are adamant against it except in exceedingly rare cases, and some are very permissive about it. I knew a priest in Memphis who was permitted to exorcise a home after a suicide was followed by poltergeist activity, but there were no bona fide exorcisms done in the 20+ years I lived there.
In more persistent cultures, the exorcism of a person is performed multiple times over a long period, sometimes for weeks on end. This is the case for Catholic exorcisms, but it is also common in Africa and the ancient Middle East. The ceremony is repeated - insisted upon - until the evil spirit relents.
The use of "familiar spirits," according to some Catholic experts, misdirects the victim from the real evil spirit. These are banished, exorcised, or otherwise told to begone, but they are not the spirit itself. The use of the repeated exorcism breaks down the defenses of the spirit as each of its ploys are exhausted.
I don't really have the time to thoroughly investigate what is going on with you and whether it is in your head, if it is your past lives, or witchcraft hexes, or if it is a "random demon attack." If it is a spirit, you have the option to banish, capture, compel, interrogate, placate, or implore as you please. The details of each of those things is a large part of the subject of magic, and is probably something best explored on your own, and which is made easier with forums like this and an abundance of diverse materials.
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adreamer |
Nov 8 2011, 05:11 AM
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Initiate
Posts: 5
Age: N/A Gender: Male
Reputation: none
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Dear Vagrant dreamer and Imperial arts.
First of all many thanks for taking the time to answer me.
Both of you have mentioned the same thing
QUOTE
So, tell us the story of your life in as much detail - though without exposing yourself, as it were, and as you prefer - as you can just prior to and during the first encounter you had. This will shed valuable light on the matter - understanding the conditions in which the phenomenon arises often reveals the "why" and this leads us to the "what" and the "what do we do now".
On the night this started happening , I had been out to a club and was pretty wasted - I had met a stranger and we had pretty much a one night stand that was very intense. I only mention this in response to your question about exactly what I was doing prior to the initial attack.
I was visiting San Francisco at the time.
I am not proud of my actions. but I was a bit of an idiot in those days and also in a different place in my personal life. Looking back however I still cannot say I could of seen this coming ...I had been dancing , drinking and then met someone - in those days that was pretty much what I did !
The person in question was very interested in me, but I treated the situation like a one night stand and returned to my hotel without even staying in contact, or really saying goodnight.
Looking back the person was a little strange and very intense.
However this is supposition as I know nothing about them.
That's when the issue began
As I was trying to sleep in a darkened room, an image appeared in the mirror . Thinking it was a reflection from the street , I fully closed the semi open curtains to darken the room.
The entity standing in a clock and hat with dark pools for eyes remained - I remember he seemed to have a scarf around his neck ( I now wonder if this was ceremonial clothing )
I focused on the image and That is when it seemed to enter the room .....a cold presence moved through me .
The initial incident continued for about 2 days ... I heard voices , saw tons of very strange things and felt a very evil presence.
However since that day it hasn't left me alone.
I was told by a hermetic healer that a black magician was involved .
The being always signs his name with what either looks like a T with a tick mark at hte bottom or it could be a cross ( which was suggested meant crucifixion )
If I could go back im time to that night , I would do so many things differently - but I can't
In my personal life, I seemed pretty content at the time , and had this event not occured was about to continue on a long awaited summer holiday to south africa.
Imperial arts - the face is not my own and when I mention focus ...it is difficult to explain but it requires a concentrated focus on any manifestation for it to appear etc.
I really need this to stop , and although I lead a full life - this is a spiritual blemish on my psychology and happiness.
I do think healing starts when we take responsibility for our life.
I'm not saying I am to blame for what is happening, but I do think that I have to accept that I have opened myself up to this situation through my choices and decisions in life.
At least that way I can hopefully remedy the situation or seek help from others,
This post has been edited by adreamer: Nov 8 2011, 06:59 AM
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If you think you are too insignificant to make a difference ...tell that to a mosquito
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Vagrant Dreamer |
Nov 8 2011, 09:42 AM
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Practicus
Posts: 1,184
Age: N/A Gender: Male
From: Atlanta, Georgia Reputation: 51 pts
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And have you ever tried communicating with this entity at some point? Either directly or through any kind of medium (pendulums, ouija boards, etc., or for that matter a psychic medium?)
You mention having previously considered becoming a priest. Can we assume that you are catholic, then, or has this changed? What do you consider to be the state of your faith? What was the state of your faith at the time this began?
Did you have at the time any belief or curiosity about demons/spirits/the occult? Had you made any practical efforts to explore these subjects?
"Immoral" decisions are not typically enough to invite spiritual oppression, but our reaction to what we perceive as immorality can be. How did you feel about your lifestyle/decisions at the time this began?
What other sensations have accompanied the presence? You mention the sense of an evil presence, how do you come to this determination? Is it a psychological reaction, visceral? Are there any smells, tactile sensations, tastes, or sounds in addition to the visual sense?
There are many reasons these things might happen. The solution to each reason is different. If it is a past life issue, then there may be some unresolved issue still plaguing you that needs to be dealt with - but I think this is less likely than others, it is not common to be haunted due to past life transgressions. If it is witchcraft, then it is likely that you offended someone with the means - but again, this is uncommon as the people able to do this are uncommon - and the answer is to react in kind. If the issue is spiritual oppression, then at some point you denied your own will and invited another being to take over and here started the courtship. This can happen for all manner of reasons - sometimes we feel unworthy to make our own decisions, or are convinced that we no longer want to live, etc., and at that moment we open ourselves to the alternative.
There is the possibility that you are a medium, but I would wonder if you have seen any other entities, or had other experiences if this were the case. Have you?
Are there any particular patterns as far as the entity's appearance? Proximity to a certain place, certain times of day, surrounding particular experiences? Are there any apparent correlations between the rest of your life and the presence of this entity? Runs of extraordinary good or bad fortune for instance? Have you ever had the sense that the entity will, or is able to, do anything on your behalf?
Peace
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The world is complicated - that which makes it up is elegantly simplistic, but infinitely versatile.
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Vagrant Dreamer |
Nov 9 2011, 10:54 AM
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Practicus
Posts: 1,184
Age: N/A Gender: Male
From: Atlanta, Georgia Reputation: 51 pts
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QUOTE(adreamer @ Nov 9 2011, 03:09 AM) Dear Vagrant dreamer and Imperial Arts.
Thank you for your replies and questions.
I think iti is obvious that this is a really private situation and I'm obviously feeling a bit exposed on a public forum.
My situation is just unbearable and I truly do not know what is going on - but I know I need hands on help.
I have written to the admin to ask for help. and to see if they have a contact in the UK that might be able to help me.
I really appreciate your comments and thoughts.
Adreamer
As one of three admins, I can say that the likelihood of being able to offer a contact in the UK is slim. The sheer volume of fraudulent practitioners looking to make a dime - who are very easy to find - as compared to experienced individuals capable of helping you - usually not very easy to find - is a very large difference in numbers. Consider as consolation, however, that you are basically anonymous on this forum. While it is not possible to find a place on the world where you are likely to encounter zero judgement about your situation, I can at least say that at the moment you are not under any such judgement. Everyone is an equally foolish human being, making mistakes and running afoul of complicated experiences we are not prepared for. There is an initiatory value to an ordeal such as this one, and you have a few options before you. You can seek out help, probably costly and likely to involve quite a journey - the chances there is someone local to you are, simple statistics, slim to none. That's just numbers. You can try to find this person who can resolve the problem and you can go on your way. Or you can deal with it yourself, and this gives you two options: either scrub the issue away and go on about your life, or use the problem as an opportunity to expand your experience of what the world really is. You don't see it now probably, and depending on where things go from here you may or may not ever come to see it that way, but you are after a fashion somewhat lucky in this regard - many individuals quest for initiation, while few understand that initiation is by its nature an ordeal through which we must survive in order to be truly initiated. There's no telling where this road could lead you if you can embrace your condition and explore it personally. That isn't to say, to accept it. But there are less negative things here that have not been explored. This being could be a kind of Ally, and your sense that it is evil may be a matter of a psychological bias - a natural fear of the unknown, for instance. Has it attempted to harm you or subvert your will in some way? Or has it simply been present? Allies of a shamanic nature, whether ancestor spirits, animal spirits, etc. - there are varieties that seem personal to culture and individual - may not approach in the way we expect them to. Lots of people tell stories about how their spirit guides descended upon them gracefully during meditation and exuded perfect compassion and love... most of those people are indulging in their imaginations, not meeting spirit allies/guides/guardians, whose jobs are to push us, assist us, and see to it that we grow and evolve and become powerful. This is not accomplished through love and harmony, typically. In some cultures, meeting your spirit ally is downright lifethreatening, and the shaman must wrestle with the beast/spirit to be tested. So, the purpose for all the questions is to help you think about the most pertinent elements of the experience, elements you might not have drawn together all by yourself. Obviously there is a lot of fear surrounding the issue for you, the problem is that fear tends to muddle things considerably and prevent us from pursuing any objective exploration. It is safe to talk about your experiences here. There may be heckling from time to time, we have some immature members, but the value of experience available is inestimable, if for no other reason than that you may be given the right bit of insight to unlock the whole thing and make sense of it. One way or another I hope you find resolution. peace
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The world is complicated - that which makes it up is elegantly simplistic, but infinitely versatile.
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