Rather Difficult Situation ... Binding With Mirror Box? Options

Hi everyone

i joined the forum today (put an introduction of myself on the coffee shop section) I have been practising the magickal arts (of various flavours) alone for the last 10 years or so: from pagan to Eastern and now I focus on High Magick, but I take all the techniques with me, if you see what I mean.

The situation I find myself in at the moment is this: for the last year or so I have been bullied by a group of people - causing gossip, telling lies about me to others, trying to ruin my reputation, occasionally physical threats, this affected me very badly to the extent that I became very anxious and agoraphobic (I just wanted to be in my own space). Through various rituals it became clear to me that this was a repetition of a pattern from a (very abusive) past. So I have been making efforts to strengthen my own protection and increase my self-acceptance - rather than just avoiding people; as I started living a kind of half life, it has been affecting my personal growth and ability to do the work I am here to do, and also I am pleased to say that I have new opportunities and some big decisions to make and I would like to do it without thinking of those issues.

But I do want to put a halt to the negativity or rather keep it with the perpetrators so that it just doesn't touch me.

I have done my best to resolve the situation over the last year or so, on the physical plane, so I think it is time to act now. What would you all advise? Any experiences/success stories?

One question is do I bind or banish? I have thought about doing a mirror box ritual (i.e. making a familiar and then putting that in a box made of mirrors facing inwards so that their energies remain with them) would I have to do a separate one for each person? can I put circumstances into the box? or even institutions? I would like to resolve the current situation and the initial situation (where the pattern was formed).

Also, i was thinking of doing the ritual on Samhain - would this be a good idea? I will also be doing magick to strengthen myself and also to ready myself to take new opportunities: would I be able to do both this and a banishing/binding?

Sorry for so many questions - I seem to have been spending too much time alone

Lily

Sorry, you have been having the troubles you have been having. I have to admit I never have had that type of problem.

Let me rephrase, I have never had that type of reaction to that type of behavior. I tend to be a chameleon when it comes to social interaction. This has good and bad effects for me, however I am always seeing what I can adjust.

We humans are creatures of patterns and habits, to break out of our habits and patterns requires effort and perceived risk.

I would look into 3-2-1 Shadow-Work Process or some similar concepts.

In essence this is objectifying something that is happening.

In 321 you start with the object in the third person, and then work to second person and lastly you become the other person or object. This allows for the emotional charge to still exist but to view it not as it is affecting us, but as an object.

There is a great deal of other good exercises for this or seminars and such. There are things where solitary practice is just not good for in earthing out. I am hesitant in recommending any because the good ones I have been to, have been hellish while I was there, but in the end I was totally happy for having been there.

There is a big underling topic to my practice, that is that I can only control my reaction to things, everything else I can influence but not control. The goal of my practice is learning to perceive where the minimum of effort can be applied to have the desired outcome I want.

So, I would not go with using magic on others when reoccurring patterns are coming up, it is only changing the symptoms and not the cause of the situation, it is only a temporary fix.

I would also go for a drastic change, reinvent yourself, take a new outlook on your past, don’t change it, take the same things and think of them in an empowering way. Doing this is walking through hell, trust me, but it also can lead to a much more wonderful place.

The immediate goal is changing your internal dialog. If you change the way you think about things and yourself you change perspectives on all things.

I know this does not answer your question, but I hope it adds something to your practice.

I'd agree with most of what Paxx said, but it does sound to me like you've been doing a lot of personal work in addition to thinking about some kind of magick, which is a responsible way to handle problems. However, I think that if you go ahead with the mirror box and continue doing the personal work, then that is a good combination. Magick should, in my opinion, always go along with an earnest desire for self transformation - a lot of people do magick for binding or banishing and then just leave it, and wonder why their magick isn't as effective as it could be. but it sounds like you've got a good reasonable handle on it, so I'd say go ahead.

As far as the mirror box goes, I haven't done one with mirrors before but I've done what we called 'bind boxes' in the past, some people I think call them curse boxes as well, where we essentially made symbols or figures representing the negative issues, put them in the box, sealed it with wax, and the buried it. In combination with personal work of course, like what Paxx mentioned, changing internal dialogue, I have put multiple issues, including negative people in my life, into a single box and it worked just fine, so I'd say it will probably work similarly with the mirror box. I would suggest if not burying it somewhere, at least keep it out of your personal space or temple area if you have one.

Good luck, and I'm also sorry to hear that you're having the problems in the first place, but after all, it's those difficulties in life that make us stronger in the end. And theres no reason not to use magick to help overcome such issues - magick isn't a crutch, it's a facilitator; it creates a kind of laser scope for our intentions and helps to keep us on track internally as well as giving the external world a nudge to make it easier, as long as we do the work, of course.

peace

Thank you very much Paxx, it is true that it is the reaction I need to examine and change: and of course as above, so below, as within so without - as everything in my realm of consciousness is a reflection of me, my internal life has to be something I remedy first or these issues will tend to repeat. The strength of my reaction blindsided me as I thought that those matters were under control: I have mainly been using magick as a tool for self-transformation. To that end I have been doing aura building (such as Middle Pillar twice daily), working on self acceptance, various High Magick rituals to obtain insights. I will certainly try the 3-2-1 Shadow-Work Process. I suppose I could also use a similar method to create ideal ("improved") properties in myself (as in Postmodern Magick). In an interesting portend of your post, I was reading today of "creative observation" - casting the past in the light that all things in fact moved you closer to your goal (so that everything is positive). I am going to do this and enjoy the process of reinvention.

Vagrant Dreamer, thank you also: I was attracted to the idea of the mirror box as it would keep any negativity with those circumstances or people rather than reaching me (in particular as one is a witch), to neutralise the situation while I work on myself: to take away the emotional sting. I am interested to hear of the curse box you use: I would certainly bury my mirror box a long way away where it cannot be disturbed. Would you choose a particular time of the month to do this?

Ideally the box will not be necessary as I am working on strengthening my own resilience ... so I will give it a little more time.


Thank you again!

Lily

This post has been edited by lkjh: Oct 29 2007, 03:09 PM

It is good to know you are using the magickal traditions as a path for self transformation. I really can’t say how important it is to me to connect with other people. It is invaluable, but I also disconnect often and go totally into hermit mode, if I was keeping records, It would probably be I am more of a hermit then out there connecting.

The thing I do have is very good friends in all walks of life, whom I can share anything with. I will edit it for them unless they request more information, but by and large they are accepting of anything I choose to do.

One practice, I had done in the past to improve my concept of shielding is to go to a concert with music I enjoy, and during a 15 minute portion, usually setting an alarm to hit at times I know I will be into it. I detach completely. I go into observation mode, and keep myself separate but a part of the crowd. Then after the 15 minutes are up, I go right back to whatever groove I was in.

It is funny how often the people you are with will ask if anything is wrong, as they notice the change. In more advance forms (currently) I try to do it without being noticed…still jumping still dancing, but my focus is not connected to that.

This allows me to be the very cool head in very hot situations. Another fun place to do this is in places that no matter what your excited (paintball was it for me). But also get out of your safe zone.

Joining clubs, book groups, gyms, taking a class at a shooting range…the list is endless. But learn what gets your blood flowing, and then at peek points stop and observe both yourself and your surroundings from a neutral perspective.

It is funny, me and one of my very “magickaly” inclined friends occasionally go to an outdoor shooting range so we can shoot at clay pigeons with a shotgun. Except for the occasional great session of meditation or intimacy, there is nothing that can relax us more fully.
My shoulder and chest will be black and blue, and sore, but I will be totally calm the frustrations of the world just fall away for the next three or four days. I often use that feeling to go to when I need to calm and center, if I want to maintain a level of reactive ability, yet be totally at peace at the same time. I am pretty sure full contact martial arts offers the same feeling.

I guess what I am saying is when repairing the spirit don’t forget about body and mind as well. New social groups that meet for 2 or three hours every other week or once a month it is easy to make sure you have a positive, strong and friendly persona for. Martial arts or the gym or anything else physical are great places to test your will.

First is form, then when form is mastered it is about results and pushing yourself to the limit yet maintaining control as you reach it and pass it. Combining centering practices and physical workouts, are some of the most positive things I can do. I just need to get off my butt and back to the gym.
But I am pretty sure it also works for hobbies that create things, from knitting to leather working or cooking. Combine the physical with your practice, and your results will be twice as fast. If you combine the intellectual and social as well, it will only accelerate it.

I do not know what country you are in, but usually in the States, community colleges offer all sorts of classes on physical ed and or crafting…take one or two and run with them so that it is social as well as physical. There will be days you want to be in your own little world and days you want to be social, those are perfect environments.

Also be aware of your internal dialog and the topics you talk about, or more to the point the tone of the conversations. I do not want you to edit yourself, just be very aware of your inner dialog.

A last possibility is volunteering somewhere, the easiest for most pagans would be an animal shelter, the most confrontational yet possibly most rewarding from an inner improvement stand point is that of an organization with a religious bent opposed to your own.
This is hard, and it is important to find a good organization, but becoming part of them opening their eyes(and yours), while dealing with snide comments and rumors early on in a passive yet strong way is rewarding in itself. It is important for the pagan community to get out there, and if the best way is cleaning the bathrooms and kitchen at a church while they have AA meetings or homeless shelter, it is often a blessing to serve people in need.

But the last is drastic, and I am not sure I could have done those things while having other issues I was looking at.

Just had a mini brain storming session with myself and thought to share.

Thank you so much Paxx - your brainstorming session was highly intuitive as I have been rather spirit-heavy to the detriment of body and mind. I am in Southern Europe and have yet to get to grips with the local language to any degree of fluency: this has restricted my possibilities rather and being away from some good things which might be developing elsewhere, is beginning to make me consider a move back. I have buddied those suffering from illness and fundraised for homeless shelters before, both incredibly fulfilling. So, what I can start to do immediately is pay attention to the physical - so I shall resume my exercise routine (long-forgotten since I moved).

Today I have been very conscious of my internal dialogue - i basically watched for negativity and then recast it (as you recommended) as positive and it has certainly made me feel more of a forward motion - as if i am being propelled forward in life (that was the physical sensation).

In gratitude

Lily

I'm glad it helped.

Remember to thank your inner dialog for sharing, you don’t want it to feel bad. Just point out to it different ways of seeing the same situation. Later as you gain a relationship with it, you will be able to see how long it can stay quite. But make it a positive game, beating up your inner dialog does no one any good, and the thing serves as a great entertainer and companion.

I know it is off a bit to refer to it in second person, but it truly is a construct, one we will have our entire lives. But it is not the boss. It is a very usefull construct. And really helps when we need information, it is a god there. To make educated judgments, to question our actions, if we need to measure pros and cons, to play devils advocate or even have a mock argument with people who are miles away…like I said great for entertainment.