Need More Chesed. Options

I just read DANTE'S EQUATION by Jane Jensen and it really relit my interest in Kaballah. Its fiction but pulls from science, math and the kaballah to give a new twist on "ascension" that I have pursued for years.

So anyway I need more Chesed to balance my excessive Gevurah. Any ideas that dont include rituals?

I know little of the tree and these terms, but I was wondering if a pathworking might show up an imbalance - if there was one - I have found sometimes that these ways of working highlight areas of me that are important, in a positive way or showing up things that may be a hindrance to ourselves or others at times; of course, these things can be relative to the situation.

I suppose it is ultimately about thinking things through and noticing our movements towards being overpowerirng or when we were compassionate and balancing it with our own needs.

Still, I have a feeling you know this already, but other members might want the input this basic input.

I know little of the tree and these terms, but I was wondering if a pathworking might show up an imbalance - if there was one - I have found sometimes that these ways of working highlight areas of me that are important, in a positive way or showing up things that may be a hindrance to ourselves or others at times; of course, these things can be relative to the situation.

I suppose it is ultimately about thinking things through and noticing our movements towards being overpowerirng or when we were compassionate and balancing it with our own needs.

Still, I have a feeling you know this already, but other members might want the input this basic input.

The problem is I'm too judgemental. I work in a hospital and love helping people. But I need to stop judging. I've never done pathworking so I will have to google it, thanks.

I should note that I was spending about 4 hours a day praying/meditating a day and it has deepened my communion with God but it has also made me very judgemental. I was doing this for the past six years but stopped a couple weeks ago to take a breather. It seems every insight or mystical boost I gain I get a coorosponding inflation of ego. I suppose I need that Gevurah energy to stick with my path but now I need to soften it with some Chesed.

I may have the answer inside me but I am not letting myself see it. I figure there will be a connection with virtures like if you want to tone down Lust then you first work on Gluttony sicne they are both connected. I wonder what cardinal sin is conected to being too judnemental? Pride? That seems obvious. So what is connected to pride?

I tried to plot it on the tree starting with the gluttony-lust connection. But I have a block. Hence the posting.

The problem is I'm too judgemental. I work in a hospital and love helping people. But I need to stop judging. I've never done pathworking so I will have to google it, thanks.

I should note that I was spending about 4 hours a day praying/meditating a day and it has deepened my communion with God but it has also made me very judgemental. I was doing this for the past six years but stopped a couple weeks ago to take a breather. It seems every insight or mystical boost I gain I get a coorosponding inflation of ego. I suppose I need that Gevurah energy to stick with my path but now I need to soften it with some Chesed.

I may have the answer inside me but I am not letting myself see it. I figure there will be a connection with virtures like if you want to tone down Lust then you first work on Gluttony sicne they are both connected. I wonder what cardinal sin is conected to being too judnemental? Pride? That seems obvious. So what is connected to pride?

I tried to plot it on the tree starting with the gluttony-lust connection. But I have a block. Hence the posting.

What types of meditation excercises do you do? I might suggest some insight meditations relating to your judgmental attitudes and see what types of people you tend to judge often, and if perhaps you can see reasons why they may act in the ways that they do. Also, what you could do is try to 'judge' yourself. Start analyzing and observing the thoughts and feelings you have about people and if maybe there isn't some prejudice you maintain towards people who behave in certain ways, due to certain negative experiences you had with similar individuals. Acknowledging the conditionality of our perspectives in life is a good way to check our egos. It's important to remember that everyone acts the way they do because they think (at least at that moment) that it's the best course of action given their previous experiences and current mind-set. Alter any of those variables and things can change pretty quickly. So when you feel ready, go back to meditations (but maybe try altering your approach); this is generally the most effective way to activate your inherent Chesed qualities. Also, you may try to find some manner to sublimate your Geburah tendencies-instead of being a critic of individuals, try looking into art or music criticism. Anyway, hope this was some help.

I ... love helping people.
I should note that I was spending about 4 hours a day praying/meditating a day and it has deepened my communion with God but it has also made me very judgemental.
I was doing this for the past six years but stopped a couple weeks ago to take a breather. It seems every insight or mystical boost I gain I get a coorosponding inflation of ego. I suppose I need that Gevurah energy to stick with my path but now I need to soften it with some Chesed.

Ok. Meditating and praying do not make you into anything; they highlight areas you need to work on, if you are a jealous type for instance, you will suddenly think you have 'become' jealous, when in fact, it is something that your praying has uncovered.

When we pray and connect ourselves to God, we are asking for our sins to be forgiven, we are asking for a connection the the Truth. That is what we get. We 'hear' the truth our obout our good bits and bad bits and we are forced to face them honestly, in truth before 'god' as it were.

This all sounds really good to me and it is clear that all your years of praying and meditation have begun to yield fruit, that is the opening up and now the wishing to clear the decks of the debris if you like and the acknowledgement of your finer points, like your kindness.

You can call your challenges Gevurah or anything you like if it helps, but if you find you are judgemental, then don't try to rid yourself of it, sometimes good judgement is needed, hone this gift up like a fine tool but save it for where it is really needed. Same with your wonderful gift of being able to reach out and help others, you are using it in a hosptial, where it is needed.

I would not try to get rid of any aspects of your character, just use them more wisely, this comes with experience though and when you look around you, who is there without fault?

I suspect your pain comes the fact that you have been able to honestly face yourself, now comes the hard part of accepting all the different pieces of your self and caring for and using each as best you can.

There is no perfection, only good management.

Hope this helps. I really do.

Rays

Wow, I've worked in a nursing home and I know how much love and compassion means, specially when you're working with people who don't have the same capabilities as you. A lot of times the employees got so overwhelmed with their work they just got bitter and ended up doing their "job" instead of helping people. Being judgmental isn't overly bad, it's only human nature to draw a first impression (a lot of the way intuition works as well). It's when that judgement gets in the way of actually conversing on a empathetic / sympathetic level with other people that it becomes a problem. You know, assuming one person is an idiot even when they're not and never changing that opinion.

I do remember one instance where my "judgmental" additude was so overpowering. I was working in the nursing home at this time actually, and they hired on a guy about the same age as me (I was in high school at the time.) My first "impression" was this guy was a worthless piece of sh!t and not to be trusted, I don't know why, I just didn't like the guy. I even brought up my concerns with one of the nurses, she scoffed at me and told me that he was a great worker. A couple of months went by and nothing. I still had my "feeling" and was always on the look out for this guy, making sure I knew where he was and what person he was helping. In truth, he was a good worker, always picked up the slack for other people and was always willing to help. But, I still didn't change my opinion about him. In the end people were angry at me for having these feelings towards this good worker and felt I was picking him out and targeting him for some reason. I loathed this guy. I even let him know it. In the end, it turned out I had every right to hate this guy and not trust him. He was a thief who stole from the elderly and sexually assaulted/raped many of the women there.

Yes, this is more so an episode of intuition. But I believe that if I didn't make that first judgement, I wouldn't have had any ideas and possibly would have gotten myself in a problem of my own. Having more love and compassion is as simple as putting yourself in the other people's shoes. You see, the people thought I wasn't being fair to this guy, but in truth I was more concerned with other's well being than being nicey nice to him.

Maybe a part of your problem is you've seen too many people working on the bad side or being selfish in dire situations that you find it hard to be compassionate. I find myself being overly "judgmental" in ways that it's silly and I end up feeling like an idiot in the end and guilty for ever having those thoughts. I defeat this by asking myself (unbiased of course, I can't be too hard on myself and I can't make too many excuses either.) "what made me feel this way in the first place?" A lot of it is what I'm comfortable with and what I know. Such as, when I see a guy dressed in baggy pants, ripped up cuffs, greasy hair, scrawny, baggy black shirt with band logo on it, big bracelet with silver studs on it, and an oversized back pack I automatically think..Stoner who works dead end job to pay for his weed, lives in a basement apartment with lot's of roomies and carries his "stuff" in his back pack so his rommies won't smoke it on him. I could be wrong *shrugs* (many times I'm not..(IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)) but meeting the person is when you fill in the gaps. But that's the key, you have to be above your own judgements in order to speak to the person. It's when you make that assumption and don't even try to prove yourself wrong.

I used to have that in high school, thinking some girl a ditz because she wore tight baby doll t-shirts, smacked her gum loudly and dazed off into space during class. But, I had to work through that and make the attempt to prove myself wrong. If I was right in the end, oh well, *shrugs*.

Maybe you could see this as a test of sorts. To either work through it, or become subjected to it and allow it to run your life? Just a suggestion of course (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

The problem is I'm too judgemental. I work in a hospital and love helping people. But I need to stop judging. I've never done pathworking so I will have to google it, thanks.

I should note that I was spending about 4 hours a day praying/meditating a day and it has deepened my communion with God but it has also made me very judgemental. I was doing this for the past six years but stopped a couple weeks ago to take a breather. It seems every insight or mystical boost I gain I get a coorosponding inflation of ego. I suppose I need that Gevurah energy to stick with my path but now I need to soften it with some Chesed.

I may have the answer inside me but I am not letting myself see it. I figure there will be a connection with virtures like if you want to tone down Lust then you first work on Gluttony sicne they are both connected. I wonder what cardinal sin is conected to being too judnemental? Pride? That seems obvious. So what is connected to pride?

I tried to plot it on the tree starting with the gluttony-lust connection. But I have a block. Hence the posting.

Are you familiar at all with the Hebrew alphabet? What helped me wihe same problem is meditating on the letter Peh. It corresponds with both Netzach and Hod, and its Sefer Yetzirah kingship is Dominance (in the set of attributions I use). A meditation on the angelic name ChNYAL (Haniel) is what spurred me to concentrate on Peh, and it definitely worked, though it's still an ongoing process.


Paul

i just started pathworking
and it has created a new shade of life that i see

i just recently got to Yesod

and what i felt after meditating that name was very intense

with what i've done so far

the spheres and names you vibrate

put that specific quality straight into your life

its basically under your nose you just have to open your third eye

I have the same problem. Try concentrating activities towards areas of life which are anabolic, not catabolic. Geburah is the destroyer, and Chesed is the loving king which hands down laws for the people.

Consider this, for example. Have you ever read philosophy and criticized it? That's a Geburah act - it breaks down the philosophy. Try taking what you've learned and integrating it into your own philosophy, building up your own approach.

Foster deeper relationships with people, and avoid growing overly angry when something occurs that you dislike.

Try giving advice to those you would normally criticize. See if you can help them with their faults rather than just cast them away.

When you're sitting around town, envision how the town will change over the years. Figure out where it will be headed and how you could effect its growth.