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But the problem for me is...how?
This is how I would find my "totem" animal:
First I would find a clear image of the animal I am to transmute through my psyche.
This would depend on my intent. Say I want to try a specific animal, like a deer or the masculine form of my mate's animal, then this is what I should focus on in daily meditation. If, however, I was attempting to connect to an other kin or animal familar I would identify this unique creature* through my dreams. Animals that appear in dreams most often have spiritual meaning. One might actually have several even many spiritguides. Dream incubation (the fostering of specific dreams through the use of objects/mantras prior to sleep) would probably give you the fastest results.
*creature - I use this to mean any animal or being, real or mythological.
Now you don't have to use dreams to find your spirit guide. It could simply be an animal you like, even a pet gold fish ;-) I use dreams because its my sub-conscous that is more aware of myself that is telling me which animals to use. You could also do a path working ritual. This could be a simple day dream or you actually spend three or so days out fasting in the woods.
Once you know for sure the animal you're going to use, for what ever purpose, its time to connect to it. Study it in every way you can. If possible actually observe the animal in the wild life. Learn the animal's nature. Then identify its nature with aspects of your own. A specific area of the brain you should study is the lybix system. Its the part of the mind that has not evolved beyond the capacity of a lizzard - very animal like in other words. Practice acting out the animal's behavior as it applies to out. This will sort of imprint the animal's psyche into your own.
Now its time to contruct your gise. If possible use material that came from that animals - antlers, horns, teeth, fur, claws, wings, bones ect ect ect. The more of your body you cover in this nature the easier it will be to "shape shift". To make the mask you should use colors and matterials that reflect both your primitive mind and that of the animal. I would use only all natural matterials. No plastic feathers or laytex or spendex or polyester. The mask can be painted on to you or a head dress made instead. Past this part its really up to you on how you'd want to continue.