Authoritative Vs Authoritarian And Permissive Parenting Styles, Parenting Styles Options

Good day to you all,

Forgive this letter in a magickal forum, but since this is a topic of general psychology, and it pertains to most all parents, I have decided to post it here since I am having some trouble finding the good in authoritarian and permissive parenting styles (research Diana Baumrind for more information). Since I belong to a debate team and am attempting to formulate a thesis in the Thomistic Method (St. Thomas Aquinas' method for how a thesis should be written) I need some good objections to the authoritative style of parenting (in other words, I need some good arguments that uphold authoritarian and permissive parenting styles).

Just to make it clear once more, I am defending the position that an authoritative parenting style is best for a child during upbringing. The only problem, as mentioned, is that I need to find objections to this and try to find coherent and reasonable reasons for upholding authoritarian and permissive parenting styles. What do you think about the matter? Why would it be best to raise children in an authoritarian and or a permissive way? I have tried researching, but almost everyone tends to agree with Baumrind. Any insights or thoughts? Your help would be most appreciated.

Sincerely,

Mr. Curi

You're going to have to forgive my socratic tendencies, but can you give a basic definition of each of those three?

It's just that from what I can tell, authoritative and permissive might be mutually exclusive. Also some of us may have difficulty distinguishing between authoritarian and authoritative methods.

Like most issues it has been my experience that moderation between dualisms brings the most balanced results. The way I help my mom raise my two baby sisters is by being both authorative and permissive. They look up to me not as a bossy big brother, but someone who will allow them to do things, but still respect my authority. Its nesseccary children learn self-control and positive habbits. They know that by doing basic things - homework, chores, clean up their toys when they are done with them and so, I am more likely to allow them to do other things. Like go to a friend's house or play outside or play video games and so on. They now the price of consequence as well. They can be stuburn and do their own thing but they know that in the long run its more to their interest to do what they are told.

For all those involved in helping me with my question, here is a great link to direct you to better understand my question,

http://www.athealth.com/Practitioner/ceduc/parentingstyles.html

Please remember that I am asking for reasons why authoritarian and permissive parenting styles would be SUCCESSFUL to bring up one's kids.

Thanks for all those who kindly responded and please continue to let me know your thoughts as I will consider using them in my upcoming thesis.

Good day to you and yours,

Mr. Curi

You've got yourself a dilemma then - you've been handed both extremes of parenting to work with while your opposition has the middle.

Just a suggestion, but you may want to argue from a democratic parenting style as opposed to the nondirective style and the nonauthoritarian-directive style rather than the authoritarian-directive styles.

My reasoning for this is that nondirective styles have historically shown to cause a child with little self-control - based on the fact that they have little moral or philosophical grounding from which to work with. Never having to be in a give-and-take situation, they have trouble dealing with... or more accurately, people have trouble dealing with them.

Authoritarian-directive style, I'd object to also, simply because it's the exact opposite - it crushes creativity.

However, the democratic parenting style is interesting. The child is given the information on a given situation, and together with the parents, works out a solution. I think that stance might serve you best - since it emphasises creativity, but also gives the child responsibility. In turn, it allows the parents to guide the child's growth without having to dictate to them how they should act.

Nonauthoritarian-directive is (or I guess, can be) sort of more of a monastic style. Ordering the child to perform certain actions, without necessarily explaining why. If done correctly, I imagine that it can cause the child to bloom later, having formulated a philosophy of morality from their experiences... but that's iffy ground I'd imagine.

While neither a philosopher nor an intellectual I am a parent, so I had a wee think about your problem.
Naturally I got stuck (as non-philosophers often do)
The sticking point for me is the term 'sucessful.'
Could you define what that means within the context of the question?

Zahaqiel says:

Authoritarian-directive style, I'd object to also, simply because it's the exact opposite - it crushes creativity.

Now, many authoritarians see creativity not as a positive attribute. The following of the rules should be enough to get the job done, or else why have them?
Once you start to stray from the path and role you have been given you are just inviting chaos into your life., and chaos leads to destruction.

So maybe what one person describes as an uptight repressed automaton within the context of his own kith and kin is a well-adjusted sucessful human being.

On the other scale, I have had the misfortune to know people who revel and take pride in their childs anti-social behaviour, seeing at as some show of strength and independence.

So you can see my problem. Success on whose terms?

Hello all:
A Mesopotanian saying, preserved by the hebrews (so about 6000 years old and still applicable) is:
'Spare the rod, spoil the child'

My tendency is to agree with this, and my personal experience is that parents that are overly permissive or understanding (they would say they are 'loving'), that cannot set and stick by their rules and boundaries do a disservice their the kids and raise them as unruly, vulgar, violent, problematic and potentially criminal children.

That is just the experiences I've had with different girlfriends with kids and by observing friends of mine.

Just my two cents,

Traveller.

P.S.: I just had a baby of my own (5 months now) so I'll get to test my own child raising theories. Wish me luck (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)