hm.
what about reading something about Law of Time, and trying to get yourself organised with the 13 Moon Calendar insted of the ****ed up gregorian one?
i read 28 the following pages
www.lawoftime.org and wasn't overwhelmed since a lot of what the author writes is indeed what i've thought about already, but there were some interesting points, and information.
me, myselves, and i have also been very much all over the place, and it really seems to me that it very much is about personal discipline and taking responsability for acts and thoughts. so putting down the biggest priorities for you right now may clarify a little what you actually are interested in for the time being. and heaven & hell, then comes the challenge to actually stick with these, and get used to sticking. if they are the profoundly wrong, your path will lead you away from them anyway, in Natural Time.
and, yoga and meditation is all fine and nice and soft and relaxing, but you may very well need some very much other kind of energy to deal with distortion. try taekwondo, or aikido, or some other very much precision focused Martial Arts. or, a movement form which builds on all of these: Nia.
be brave!
<3