Energy Depletion Options

Hey peeps!

I have noticed a rather unusual thing that happens to me sometimes. It may take a bit of explaining so 'bear with' (IMG:style_emoticons/default/bigwink.gif)

Whenever I feel the need to do magick, I feel this emotion of contentment and joy engulfing my heart. This is the energy I use to invoke entities or do any other sort of magickal act. The problem is whenever I can't feel the energy, my magick doesn't work! Ever! This feeling comes and goes (as it pleases apparently). The thing is I suffer with depression and anxiety and have done most of my life, so feelings of joy are not always present even when the need/will to do magick is. Could it be a side-affect of my depression? Will I have to live with the fact that sometimes, I just won't physically be able to perform magick? As if my connection is temporarily cut-off somehow?

Another theory I have is that I use up all my magickal energy in one invocation and then experience a kind of 'come down' where I feel empty of those feelings for a few days.

Any theories would be grately appreciated.

First of all, you've made the agreement that you are afflicted with depression and anxiety. That agreement reinforces the condition, so it is better to try and take a step back and see the whole affair energetically. "Right now I am low on energy, it is not an affliction." "Right now I have some anxiety, what can I do about it?"

Depression and anxiety are caused by a lack of energy. Some people have problems with their energy system, sometimes we just don't think of acquiring energy in any way other than the normal methods of interaction with others, eating mindfully, connecting to the world through love, etc.

Your second theory is close, but incomplete. Yes, you can use up all your energy during a magickal endeavor. Depending on the work, you expend energy without replacing it. You are within your rights to request that the entities you work with replace the energy you used to connect to them before they leave. Godforms can hand out energy like candy. Lesser entities are more stingy about it sometimes, to them it's more of a commodity, and they're showing up because of the chance to collect some. You may also want to take a look at what entities you normally invoke - some of them may be leaving tap lines on you and siphoning off more than you agreed to, especially if you haven't told them they can't. It took me a while to figure out that what you don't mention is often far game when it comes to invocation. Evocation is far safer, but maybe not as fullfilling when you're used to housing or merging with an entity.

Take a look at some of these threads on psi-vampirism and energy work. Learn to draw energy from the earth, Sun, Moon, and Stars. Spend time outside during windy days, standing in the wind and really feeling it is a great way to get a natural boost of energy. Spend some time in the sun, not just being in it, but appreciating and loving the warmth that it sheds. Love is connection, and vice versa, if you are able to learn how to master love, you can connect to any force of nature, any godform, etc. You already know this because you have observed that the feeling of being full of energy is like being full of love, right?

One of the most detrimental things we can do is accept some prognosis that we are emotionally broken in some way. When we say things like, "I suffer from depression" that is giving up on the idea of being in control, abdicating the throne of your temple to forces that are just too strong for you. When I was fifteen or so, I was 'diagnosed' with clinical depression and 'anxiety disorder.' Now, I know that I wasn't getting enough energy from my parents, because they didn't have enough to give. Instead, they were taking energy because they had to get it from somewhere and weren't able to get it from one another any more. Learn to fully appreciate and love each moment of life, even if it starts with just the immutable constants that will never let you down. Learn to love gravity, the sun, the rotation of the earth, the cycles of nature. Those things are sources of energy that will never be depleted in your life time at least.

Most importantly, make an opposing agreement with yourself to these damaging agreements you have in place. Take life moment by moment, rather than deciding that a temporary condition of energetic low means that you have a consistent affliction which will be a constant in life. Your brain is under your control, believe it or not. Depression and anxiety are caused by chemical imbalances - which are triggered by energetic imbalances, and you are in control of the energy, so you are in control of the chemicals.

If any of this is vague or doesn't make sense, let me know and i'll go on at great length.

peace

This post has been edited by Vagrant Dreamer: Feb 1 2007, 12:51 PM

Being that I too suffer from similar disorders this is right up my alley. To emphisis on Vagrant Dreamer's last paragraph, you can control depression and anxiety. If you eat right, you get enough excersice, plenty of sleep, can mannage your day to day stress and treat yourself to rewards when you deserve them you can stay in control of physical symptoms. If you can understand your personal psychology then you can manage the mental causes. What you should do is figure out what emotional factors are going on within yourself and find a positive way to express them. Introspection is key here. When you feel down or anxious stop and take a moment to ask yourself what are you thinking? By identifying any negative thoughts you can say to yourself "no these things are not true" and work to correct your "stinking thinking" as my psyche teacher would say. If you just feel the blues get online and blog or call a friend and say "man I feel like shit" and get into it, express yourself. If nothing else finding a good comedy or tv show can lighten your mood as well. Doing these things is like unclogging a drain. You should notice that your energy flows more fluidly through you. And this means that you're controling your own issues. This doesn't mean that you won't feel bad again but you know you can deal with them well enough that finding the energy to preform your magick should rarely be a problem.

If possible I would avoid certain things like too much coffee or pop, alcohol, cigarettes and anti-depressants. They only serve to mask the symptoms and neither fixes anything. The stimulants can increase your anxiety, the booze can do the same for the depression and the anti-depressants make you dependant upon them. Some also have nasty side affects. These things do not promote a healthy flow of energy either. The biggest part to beating depression and anxiety is living healthy - mentally, physically and spiritually.

Also realize that everybody has their good days and bad that can affect how well they function in general, let alone work with their craft.

Conscious belief tends to impact physical energy. Since Magick is all about Will, and getting in touch with the awesome true nature of the Deep Mind (choose your own language), why not try taking those high moments when you feel so vastly empowered (I know that feeling) and use it to drive your will into addressing the imbalance in your conscious energy. In other words, use your Work to balance and empower the "off days.". There's nothing dark or even gray in such an effort. Working self magick is pure right hand path (Tibetan Tantric term). Healing the conscious, helping the conscious connect to the tireless subconscious is a big part of magick.

In Daoism, we'd say these swings from empowered to uninspired is somewhat indicative of imbalance. Everything in Daoism -- if you drill down the core essences -- is about balance. Yin-Yang. Conscious-Unconscious. Male-Female personalities (not referring to sexes here). Energy-NILenergy. Creation-NILcreation. Bottom line, if I felt such regular "down" swings, I would use my "up times" to empower my "down times." Since you're empowering self, this kind of magick is perfectly in reach of anyone. Anyone and everyone. Will it -- that your energies will be symmetrically balanced -- then use the "high moments" to achieve gnosis, know you have achieved balance, and it will happen.

Thank you so much for everyones replies. They have helped me think things over and get a clear head.

Ok, so if the problem is a block in my energy, how would one best fix this?

I'm guessing perform the middle pillar daily for six months? or some sort of chakra healing or kundalini techniques?

I also think some people in my household (so called family) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angry_pissed_off_emoticon.gif) may be syphoning energy off me subconciously.

Once again thanks for all your help.

PS. I own the book 'Wheels of Life' if there are any techniques in it you think might work. I'm not spell begging, I know how to perform the LBRP and MP but I'm just not sure these ritual will help in this situation.

shields work against psi vamps, sleeping works for depression for some unless you are one of those 'bad sleepers' that for some strange reason don't get restful sleep (its not just the mattress), which i was until i figured out in my dumbo head that i was getting instruction at night and was being held in a higher level of sleep than i would have been in normally, so i tried napping during the day after i got home from work, and that did the trick, 2 hours in the afternoon is like 5 at night - you feel refreshed and happy - and get some wireless headphones or something to combat that tv - also the planetary alignments and what quarter they (not just the moon) are in have a lot to do with your feelings - map out and chart your energies whether up, down,used, etc,for a couple of months, then look for correspondences - could also be sad (seasonal affective disorder - i've been there done that too) where the body dosen't receive enough physical light in a particular set of wavelengths, try using a different light buld (get one thats "full spectrum") and see what it does to your energies - there are a lot of herbal stuff out there for depression, most of it with other side effects, but i really like pepper (red or black or chili), and it supposedly cleans the body of toxins

e.

shields work against psi vamps, sleeping works for depression for some unless you are one of those 'bad sleepers' that for some strange reason don't get restful sleep (its not just the mattress), which i was until i figured out in my dumbo head that i was getting instruction at night and was being held in a higher level of sleep than i would have been in normally, so i tried napping during the day after i got home from work, and that did the trick, 2 hours in the afternoon is like 5 at night - you feel refreshed and happy - and get some wireless headphones or something to combat that tv - also the planetary alignments and what quarter they (not just the moon) are in have a lot to do with your feelings - map out and chart your energies whether up, down,used, etc,for a couple of months, then look for correspondences - could also be sad (seasonal affective disorder - i've been there done that too) where the body dosen't receive enough physical light in a particular set of wavelengths, try using a different light buld (get one thats "full spectrum") and see what it does to your energies - there are a lot of herbal stuff out there for depression, most of it with other side effects, but i really like pepper (red or black or chili), and it supposedly cleans the body of toxins

e.

Its interesting you mention that esoterica, as I think SAD has alot to do with it, and like Vagrant Dreamer said, as I should learn to draw energy from all available sources i.e. the sun, moon and earth. Or even a godform when I am invoking. Does anybody have any suggestion on how to 'draw in' this energy? I mean it is as simple as visualisation? like in the middle pillar? or is there some other technique I am missing?

Thanks.

It starts as visualization. But quickly becomes a physical feeling. The sun is easy once you feel the heat you can associate with it and draw the energy in, the moon is the same but to me feels cold or darkmatter like but also comforting. The earth is easy once you ground yourself just "suck up" the energy. The elemental energies are all associated with your chakra and can also be drawn upon very heavily. For instance the Tibetan sherpa can warm themselves by utilizing the third chakra and the visualization and feeling of fire. One of there initiations is to be wrapped in wet blankets and by the end they have dried all of them and warmed themself. Kundalini energy is utilized after you study the chakra for a while and than its drawn up the spinal region (very short explanation). Ki and chi energies i associate with focus and utilizing spirit in what you accomplish. For instance with martial arts you use it to "penetrate" punch someone. And that can actually do internal damage of a massive nature.
The biggest most important way to "gain" energy is to save the enrgy you have and utilize it correctly. And really the toltec believe that that is the only spare energy available. By stalking and recapitulation you gain lost energy/spirit. And by living in the moment you will save tremendous amounts of energy.

I also share all my negative energy with everything. and picture it spreading so far out into space and the ground that its no longer an issue for wherever it ends up.