The Initial Fear Options

I remember when I first ventured into the occult I felt extremely dwarfed by all the routes and possibilitys out there, all various methods to achieving one thing - A goal. Right?
Tonight I sat on my floor, staring at the wall with complete bewilderment. Pangs of laziness and stupidity feel as though they have gripped hold of me and constrict my very soul, and time and time again I feel my eyes drifting towards that one forbidden book that rests so ominously, so wretchedly upon my shelf. The book I refer to, is the one which calls me time and time again, as though pestering me to try it - even though I fear what results will come of it.
I refer to the necronomicon spellbook - not the whole version. It gives simple instructions for utilising the book, but fear returns to me; fear mostly of something hurting me the second I step outside the circle.

Add to which, I am very unexperieced in the ways of ritual magick, although I realise that in my current state I have no option but to take drastic actions to essentially plow through my problems. I have tried the 'realistic' method, and have fought tooth and claw to push my problem's back - but it continues to creep upon me. Now, I find myself truely considering utilising the necronomicon and I turn to you to ask advice:

-Should I attempt another method to gain what I need?
-Should I avoid the necronomicon spellbook - and find another way.
-Should I have any fear of these entitys which I may possibly call upon, even though they are 'beneficial'?

all advice...suggestions, comments and thoughts are welcome. Especially in this most dire of circumstance.

If I may Do NOT fear the 50. Respect them but do not fear them. They ARE beneficial unless your trying to do something against there nature. The Necronomicom Spell Book is the easiest USE it. If you however, can't get over your fear then you should come back to the book later. You'll know when. Perhaps if you get a grounding in ceremonial magic first say..."Modern Magick by Donald Michael Kraig." Just my 2 cents.
gmcbroom

I say learn about the Qabala and the basics of magick from reading some of Crowleys works. He gives many good suggestions as to going about becoming an actual practicing mage. But staring at books will do u no good--action is neccessary. Conquer ur fear---that is the first of many hurdles on this path. Fear drives one but can paralize you as well. Learn the structure and paths of the Tree of Life--it will give you a strong idea of the nature of the Gates in the Necronomicon.

Reading and meditating on the full version of the Necronomicon might be beneficial. You don't need to perform any rituals at this point, just become familiar with the system. When I need additional inspiration, I turn to the Tao Te Ching, which was recommended to me by a good friend. I also like the book Northern Magic from Llewellyn Press for additional perspective because there are certain similarities between Norse and Sumero-Babylonian beliefs.

Something is drawing you, and the path is the path. A journey means overcoming fear. But, of course, I'd never undertake any work where I was fearful. Usually fear is unfounded, anyway, but it is a natural instinct that protect you (survival instinct). Full comprehension and study should overcome the anxiety with that one path. Perhaps mastering other paths first, so you confidence is overwhelming. I think the danger lies in your own fear. So, my humble advice, learn other paths that remove any elements of fear. Perhaps create a protective servitor to accompany you? If you've explored different paths, have you dabbled with Chaos magick? There's never fear in Chaos, since you are only approaching the self, really, albeit using a highly intellectualized "all-paths" approach.

Since the Nec is drawing you, I'm sure you'll end there, but overcoming the fear is the first necessary step in any path. Happy journeys.

Greetings'uchih,

Courage is the ability to conquer fear. There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Do not let fear stop you. Over power it. Fear can effect the ritual and its results negatively. However there is nothing gained if nothing risked.


Good luck!