About This Girl.., I'm also new (1st post) Options

I have a friend who I always go to his house, and a bunch of other people go there, and we hang out and get high, and just do random stuff. Recently his 19 year old sister moved in with him, and she hung out in his room for a while, and me and her became pretty good friends, but recently, she hasnt been hanging out, and im really starting to miss hanging out with her, in fact, i think im in love with her. she always locks herself in her room, and i cant seem to get to really talk to her, because she always seems depressed. but i have pretty strong feelings for her.

I dont know, but its really frusterating, i want to talk to her and become closer with her, but its kind of hard when you cant interact with her, you know what i mean? do any of you have any tips or suggestions for me? it would be very appreciated.

This post has been edited by TheToology: Feb 7 2007, 02:10 AM

Greetings'TheToology',

That sucks dude. Women are creatures very different from ourselves. Either they like you or they don't. Its great to just be friends with a girl too. If I were you I would just try to be her friend. In the future if she likes you I am sure that she will let you know.

Good luck bro!

This post has been edited by Edunpanna: Feb 7 2007, 02:10 AM

well I mean its kind of hard to talk to her if she sits in her room with the door closed, i have knocked on her door asking if she wanted to get high with me (since she has gotten me high plenty of times before) but she didnt want to.


Edit-- Well my question really is, is there any method i could use to let her know (subconciously or conciously) that I am interested in her, or at least let her acknowledge me a little more? i dont want to do any love spells or any of the such, because i personally dont really think its right to do that to someone.

OK, I didnt want to let out this much info, but if i want help i guess this is what im going to have to do.. I never said she didnt like me, in fact, one night when she was drunk, the light went out for about 5 seconds and she started nudging my hand (the way girls let you know they want you to hold their hand) and the lights came back on. and later on she fell asleep with her head on my shoulder, but i didnt know what to think because i thought she had a boyfriend... I'm SO confused.

This post has been edited by TheToology: Feb 7 2007, 02:43 AM

Greetings'TheToology',

My advice if you like her is do not tell her that you like her. Just be nice to her and be her friend. Women seem to be more interested in guys when guys are not interested in them for some reason.

Don't say anything. When the time is right just kiss her. Never discuss your feelings.

Good luck!

wo0w your method is really staightforward, but i think i'll try it..

The way to get good with a particular woman is to get good with women in general.Try out the mystery method(google it)it single handedly quadrupled my love and sex life..

Um, I'm gay, first of all, so my advice is naturally suspect, but what I have found women to tell me when they think it will not be repeated, is that they get tired of meeting men who have plans from the get go. They have a strategy worked out to get into their pants, and the problem is that its so hard to tell the difference between the sincere guy and the guy who's just a good strategist. And eventually, they find out, and that's when they realize they've been had. They say it sucks to meet a guy who they thought was just genuinely good, when it turned out that's just the costume he wore to sleep with them.

So, my advice, is to genuinely focus on her. Get to know her likes and tastes, get to know how she feels about things, be her friend for its own sake, and put your agenda away for a bit. Like smasher said, don't tell her about your feelings because they don't need to be discussed yet, and you should really know her first anyway. If you show real, genuine interest in WHO she is, and expose yourself (psychologically!) by letting her know who you are, then eventually she'll recognize what she's got, and that's the moment to lay the kiss. It'll be a sudden light of recognition in her eyes, most likely accompanied by a big smile.

Don't use it as a strategy to get with her, drop the strategy all together and treat her like a person you really really like. If you have an agenda, it will be exposed eventually, women are clever creatures, far, FAR more clever than most men realize in fact, and in this day and age, they have gay friends to inform them of the hardwired aspects of the male psyche. My closest girl-friends no longer get played at all, and most of them managed to realize they had guys on the wing who were perfect as they were for how they felt, not how they acted.

peace

I kinda agree with Vagrent . . .
I'm not a young kid anymore, and been married for quite a while . . . so I don't have a big need to "aquire" girls affections. In that light, I've found many girl (I tend to associate with folks younger then myself . . . just per work and school) aren't all that impressed with nifty games. I've often heard much the same thing as Vagrent relates. (I guess I am assumed "safe" . . . and probably am)

My suggestion, don't play games . . . the whole coy (mysterious) thing is actually pretty obvious. And even if your so much better at then the all the rest of the guys, most girls (aware and intellegent ones at least) expect it anyway.

If you like her, and she likes you . . . eventually you two will have anothe moment of close times. When that happens, just let her know you like her. Its really that simple. And if you never have another close-time with her . . . then I guess you'd know then what she thought.

Be nice, be supportive and compassionate. Maybe she's having personal (inner) problems, maybe she's has some mild mental/chemical thing (bipolar...), maybe its just her time (of the month or just in life). Let her know that if she needs someone to talk to . . . or to just get out with, your a friend. Then wait.

Sometime later (when she's spending time with her) just plain-old let her know you "like" her and would like the chance to go on a date (or whatever).

I feel comfortable in saying, I think many girls would find it appriciatively refreshing if guys just were straight-up and not always playing some kindof "how do I impress her without it being obvious" game.

honesty.

(though I'll say . . . I may be getting old)

This post has been edited by palindroem: Feb 9 2007, 01:09 PM

I dont know, but its really frusterating, i want to talk to her and become closer with her, but its kind of hard when you cant interact with her, you know what i mean? do any of you have any tips or suggestions for me? it would be very appreciated.

Well my question really is, is there any method i could use to let her know (subconciously or conciously) that I am interested in her, or at least let her acknowledge me a little more?

You sounded pretty much like an AFC (average frustated chump!) and a nice guy (gal's emotional tampoon)
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/irvine.gif) Smarten up, weed out that desperation and be a Man (IMG:style_emoticons/default/chair.gif)

Spend the night tuneing into her energies, be comfortable with what you think she is interested in and what she likes. Than sit down write her a letter from the heart and slide it under her locked door. Mention how it made you feel to have her fall asleep on your shoulder and other things that you have told us. Women want one thing straight honosty. Good luck, i hope she is not depressed for to long. It could be she just wants to spend time alone.

This post has been edited by Enochian: Feb 9 2007, 03:12 PM

Spend the night tuneing into her energies, be comfortable with what you think she is interested in and what she likes. Than sit down write her a letter from the heart and slide it under her locked door. Mention how it made you feel to have her fall asleep on your shoulder and other things that you have told us. Women want one thing straight honosty. Good luck, i hope she is not depressed for to long. It could be she just wants to spend time alone.

I still contend do not tell her anything. Just wait for the right moment and kiss her. One kiss can say 1000 words.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

You sounded pretty much like an AFC (average frustated chump!) and a nice guy (gal's emotional tampoon)
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/irvine.gif) Smarten up, weed out that desperation and be a Man (IMG:style_emoticons/default/chair.gif)

Indeed Kinjo is right on. It doesn't take magic to pick girls up, they are attracted to personality. PM me and I will help you out and probably change your life (IMG:style_emoticons/default/13.gif).

PS. Kinjo the mystery method book is 10 times better!

This post has been edited by distillate: Feb 9 2007, 03:52 PM

I still contend do not tell her anything. Just wait for the right moment and kiss her. One kiss can say 1000 words.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

How about ALLOWING her to kiss you because "YOU" turned her ON? Because YOU are "the" great catch, the mystery, the challenge that had swept her off her feet? It's not about being romantic and you probably can get a slap in the face for kissing her at the wrong moment when you read the wrong signals. Now is about enticing, luring and hold the prey's attention to the kill zone (IMG:style_emoticons/default/922.gif)

How about ALLOWING her to kiss you because "YOU" turned her ON? Because YOU are "the" great catch, the mystery, the challenge that had swept her off her feet? It's not about being romantic and you probably can get a slap in the face for kissing her at the wrong moment when you read the wrong signals. Now is about enticing, luring and hold the prey's attention to the kill zone (IMG:style_emoticons/default/922.gif)

haha if you wern't on the other side of the world we would have to go sarging together!

How about ALLOWING her to kiss you because "YOU" turned her ON? Because YOU are "the" great catch, the mystery, the challenge that had swept her off her feet? It's not about being romantic and you probably can get a slap in the face for kissing her at the wrong moment when you read the wrong signals. Now is about enticing, luring and hold the prey's attention to the kill zone (IMG:style_emoticons/default/922.gif)

I have never been slapped by a girl. I have never kissed a girl that was not giving me the signals either. They want you to kiss them. And if you realize that why hesitate?

Its more romantic that way I think. Strong secure and confident.

Thats just my way though.

There must be many ways to pursue a woman.

Whatever works! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

This post has been edited by Edunpanna: Feb 9 2007, 07:18 PM

Ok so im a girl...and i think games are for weak people. People who are too wimpy to take their passions by the bridle and ride with it! One type of girl likes to be swept off her feet. Fast and unexpectedly. Another likes a man who can hand over the power to the woman...if she were that kind of girl, you'd know by now if she likes you. A plausible reason she shuts herself behind a door? She's either trying to avoid you cuz she's confused...maybe she DOES have a boyfriend but you give her the butterflies. OR she just got tired of her brother's playmates and getting high is just not her thing. He He. There are other possibilities, but i have to wonder...is she the kind of girl who sobers up when she's depressed? Does she go into solitary mode when she feels sad? If not, then thats your answer! Hurrah hurrah! Go for it! What can you lose? Her company seems to be already at stake....

Disclaimer: dude, everyone's different...apply this to your own context, dont just act on advice forum-nerds are giving you! God luck.

This post has been edited by valkyrie: Feb 28 2007, 08:24 PM

dont just act on advice forum-nerds are giving you! God luck.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) haha best advice yet! I guess i'll give my forum nerd advice too. Just be polite, respectful and most importantly yourself. If you want to form a lasting relationship, it will be much easier to be yourself in the long run. If she falls for you due to some game you're playing, youll have to keep it up, and that will get old fast. If she likes you for you, all the b.s. wont be nessicary. If you play some "game" or use some "technique", it will be a waste of time, because sooner or later, it will come down to who you are, not what scheme you've masterminded.

Just go with what feels natural bro, but don't be afraid to take a little control with it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) I find that girls around my school like to feel like they can let someone control the relationship a little, but still allow her some breathing room to make choices, preferably good ones for you!

hey there bro..

Gaming rule Number 1-Never follow a girls advice when it comes to girls (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

And secondly game is not a facade,its the entry point that evens the playing field when you are against guys more good looking,more rich and more famous then you.You arent being someone you are noy,you are improving who you are,no one is static.

Being yourself(if you arent someone desirable) aint gonna get you nowhere,it doesnt work bro,plain and simple.Yet again i would recommend you invest in the mystery method venusian arts ebook.It saved ma life basically.You wanna see results?Well just check the link below.Its me post-mystery method.Peace.

http://img104.imageshack.us/img104/7987/montagemc4.gif

ok omnawhatever...is that how you "game" the women...by discounting their advice? Sorry to be an a$%*#!* but i dont think i deserved that attack. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/poster_spam.gif)

oh and by the way? Not everyone has to put up an act...maybe YOU do ...but not everyone. There...now that's an even playing field. Im sorry if you're sorry. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ras.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/nonono.gif)

This post has been edited by Edunpanna: Mar 15 2007, 10:03 PM

hey there bro..

Gaming rule Number 1-Never follow a girls advice when it comes to girls (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Based on my own experience and many others who have been in the field for more than 10 years, I'd second the above opinion that - generally - never follow girl's advice. Why? Most of the time, girls don't really know what they "actually" want. That's why many of the girls end up in relationship with the "bad boys" who can put them in their place, abuses and treat them like little child. They also ended up with the so called "Nice guys" who treats girls like queens and follow women's advices by buying them flowers, presents, etc etc.... and basically worship their woman, who in the end will usually get dumped, walked over, becoming an emotional tampoon, and generally abused emotinally, financially or even physically.

IMHO, here's the basics between the two off the top of my sleepy head right now:

Basic Woman's Advice: You gotta please me, buy me flowers and things, impress me, always be available when I need you, bend your principles to please me, and always be a "gentle-man" because I am fragile and it's the "proper" thing to do! (so I can gradually rule over you till I'm bored and till I (if I ever) find a new sexier, wealthier man who can give me more challenges and excitements than you can)
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/evilB.gif)

Basic Man's Advice: Do not afraid to show your testosterones. walk and live your life without any apology, treat/respect all women the same, never try to impress, and never ever put any girl on any pedestal. If she wants you then she gotta to earn your attention, respect and maybe your attraction to her personality over her slim lean bods and boobs. Your life should focuses on your financial. physical and emotional success and it should never revolves in any greater quantity around any woman. Become "the" prize by building your treasures so women will compete to cast their webs over it.

Woman hate a man with a "game" because we turn their own weapons against them (IMG:style_emoticons/default/black eye.gif)

The problem is, girls/women are different.

The danger with being the "gamer" kind of guy is that you'll only attract women who like to play games.
Ever read the "The RUles" books? They are books telling girls what games to play to get a man. Do yourself a favor, get the books, read them, and when you recognize a girl playing those games, avoid her like the plague. She'll play games, and when you don't interest her anymore, or fail some arbitrary test, she'll dump you for the next gamer.

Let me give some free advice as someone who's been through the games and been burnt a few too many times.
Women want men with testicles. There it is. If you're a wimp, you won't get far. Oh you might get some to stay with you, but they will leech from you until therre is nothing left and leave you broken. But let's be clear, strength and violence -- yes, violence -- that is CONTROLLED, is sexy. A rampaging bully is a weakling. Often times we'll confuse the browbeating bully as a strong man, but he's not, he's weak and insecure. A strong man that is gentle with us is desireable. Oh, we'll piss and moan about not getting our way, but that's because everyone wants their way. But trust me, if you make a habit of giving in, you'll be despised. That's why the "nice guys" end up getting dumped for the bad boys -- the women are looking for someone strong.

Try just being upfront. Walk up with a little swagger and tell her you miss her hanging around and wondered what's up (you must see her out of her room every now and then). Or, if she's encased in her room, go pound on the door and tell her you'd like to talk. Then tell her (don't ask) "let's go [for a walk, get something to eat/drink], I'd like to talk to you a bit." Even if you're scared/intimidated, don't act like it. Act like you're going to do something that she doesn't want to miss out on. The important thing being to get her out of that environment before talking to her.

If she agrees, then ask her what's up how come she doesn't hang out anymore. If she says she isn't into the crap you're into, then suggest doing something else -- with her, not your buddy and her -- if that means you stop being a doper, then if you want her enough, do it.

If she shuts you down, then just say "OK. . ." like she's missing out, and don't bother with her anymore. When you see her from then on, don't even acknowledge her presence unless she initiates contact with you. Reason being A.) She's not interested, move on, or 2.) she's testing you. If you don't seem desperate, she'll start thinking maybe she is missing out, and will want to get back in.

Lastly, keep in mind that girls are not women (and at 19, she's still a girl). Girls often don'y know what they want, and IMO young girls are somewhat frigid. They are very interested in themselves, and often make decisions for no reason. So if she shuts you down, or flip flops, it isn't personal, she just hasn't stabilised emotionally to the point that she knows whether or not she's really interested in you.

I agree with you kinjo but I hate the word never. I mean just because girls are human doesn't mean they cannot know what they want or how to get it. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) That doesn't mean they can't be manipulated or follow flawed, irrational instincts and desires. Hell my penis makes me do that all the time! All I'm saying is I think we should listen to eachothers opinion's equally and not judge based on gender - yet at the same time respect that some people do actually have gender biased opinions. No sense in argueing or taking offense to what we may perceive as other people's repugnances because we're all entitled to believe what we want. If somebody does want to argue about beliefs that, to me, says something about their character right there - that is they think they can change people.

When it comes to relationships and sex I pretty much do what kinjo said above. In interpersonal relationships I also recognize that my main goal is not love or even really romance. My main drive is sex. So why should I mess around with any "games" or act and try to woo a girl who is looking for love? To me its unethical to chase women who desire love when I know my goal is to get laid - not married. So my approach is to be fank about myself and just be myself. Granted I have been called a pervert, I have also recognized some pretty shallow and prude women who dress and act sexy but are really just teases who use that as a levy to take the moral high ground.

Whenever I'm with a girl I'm plainly clear about my desires. But I can't just do my own thing and hope some girl comes to me. I have to get out express and aleviate my sexual nature. I can't play games either that's just too much work and usually leads nowhere. If I think a girl is attractive and I don't see any ring on her finger I'll ask her on a some kind of date, which usually depends on the size of my wallet at the time. If she says no its pretty much the worse she can do, no hard feelings all is well. If she says yes I get a chance to cop a good feel, so to speak, judge her character, what she wants and get to know her. Communication and listening are key and I'm not the kind of guy who fronts and I'm not sadistic enough to manipulate a girl just to satisfy myself. Why kid anyways? In the end it'd just generate a relationship structured around flawed ideals. If a girl plays hard to get that to me is a sign that she sub-consciously already knows men are usually all about sex (there are exceptions) and that she has issues relating to men because of that. Which is probably a sign that she doesn't really know to relate to or understand her own sexual nature. Thus I don't waste my time because she doesn't really know what she wants. And I'm usually too lazy to try and help people figure that out.

Be honest - By the 3rd date you should have clearly expressed your intentions. Be blunt and direct but use tact. Say what you mean but say it in a way thats not overly offensive. "hey babe you wanna f%*!?" generally doesn't come across very well.

Communicate - Speak whats on your mind and just because you're a man doesn't mean you can't use "I feel" statements around women.

Tact - let me stress this word. There is being yourself and speaking your mind but realize if you're trying to get with somebody you don't already know very well you really increase your odds by not being an unsensitive, overly crude and rude dick.

Listen - For one it'll help you related to her desires and help keep you from mis-interpreting them. It'll also makes you more attractive because, imo, women like a guy is willing to get actually get to know them.

[edit] Ask questions - anybody can listen to a conversation but if you can ask questions you're engaged in it and she knows you are listening to her. [/edit]

Be yourself - don't front or play games. Don't try to manipulate her through deception. A girl who is scandalous will catch on and she'll probably lead you on just to get what she wants. If you are yourself a scandalous girl will not be to hide her nature so easily and you'll se right through her - usually. If a girl makes you nervous actually express that it'll help you get over it. Girls generally feel more attractive when they know they make guys nervous on dates. If you're stressed or not feeling good also say that because if you do and accidently make a fool of yourself her psyche will understand that as a cuase of your state of mind.

But be yourself with decency - dress as you will but be mindful first appearances make up 90%+ of what people think of you. So might not want to wear anything with semen stains on it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif). In the case of the original poster it sounds like there is already some reporte so this isn't AS important. Also general hygene is a must - bad breathe and BO are serious turn offs to most women - but there are few who genuinely don't give a rats ass. If you are expecting sex be sure you wash in the obvious locations.

Experience - the only real way to get good at getting girls, weather or not you've already known them for a period of time, is experience. The [edit]more[/edit] girls you are with the greater variety of interpersonal connections you've have had and the more likely you will be able to deal with new situations as well as improvise and be creative.

This post has been edited by Acid09: Mar 20 2007, 03:39 PM

The problem is, girls/women are different.

The danger with being the "gamer" kind of guy is that you'll only attract women who like to play games.
Ever read the "The RUles" books? They are books telling girls what games to play to get a man. Do yourself a favor, get the books, read them, and when you recognize a girl playing those games, avoid her like the plague. She'll play games, and when you don't interest her anymore, or fail some arbitrary test, she'll dump you for the next gamer.

Physically attractive woman will almost always play games and do the Rules naturally because it is their basic defence system they've learned as tests and screening process to weed out the wimps and "annoyance" they get daily from guys. To breach into their defense system, a man need to play along to some degree to turn the game around in his favour. Most less attractive woman often do not need to play much game in the beginning because they lack bargaining chips and experience. All woman play games sooner or later whether you like it or not with their tons of tests, sweet talks and flakiness consciously or unconsciously to constantly test the strength of her man.

In my opinion alpha males don't do games because we are the game. Tips, tricks, tactics and strategies only illustrate the means of success and it is the basic drills newbies must go through to weed out their own insecurity, restore confidence and became Man again. As success is a mind games, it's all a state of mind.

Physically attractive woman will almost always play games and do the Rules naturally because it is their basic defence system they've learned as tests and screening process to weed out the wimps and "annoyance" they get daily from guys. To breach into their defense system, a man need to play along to some degree to turn the game around in his favour. Most less attractive woman often do not need to play much game in the beginning because they lack bargaining chips and experience.

Men don't have to play along with the games women play. I think women, really guys too, play games because they don't know how to say/express something. For example like how they sexually relate to men or their own sexual nature/desires - which is why many dress so skanky these days but get offended when men whistled or even give them compliments.

Most people in general don't understand their own psychology, at least entirely, so they resort to antics (games) - those unspoken tests or indicators to deal with the things they can't express. Sub-consciously people are acting out to get answers to questions they don't know how to or want to ask. If you catch a girl playing games and challenge her motives you can usually figure out the underlying message or reason for her antics. The trick is tact. Don't accuse her of anything don't, in anyway, cut her down or belittle her and be respectful don't patronize or condecend.

Most people only play a small number of games and that's normal. We can over come these. But when people play lots of games that probably means they have deceptive, manipulative personallities, as well as baggage and probably arn't people you'd even want to get laid by just because you never know what they might pull on you.