Tlazocamati, TLAZOCAMATI Options

Greetings and my most sincerest "thank you" to all for allowing me to become part of this most special circle.
I have never really been one to follow rules but I know that this in not your common dinner jiberish or junior high school past time...and so I pay my deepest respects to this most honoroble form of learning, teaching, discovery, and enlightment. My name is Ash. Ever since I can remember, there was always something odd about this world. It all began at the age of 6 when I saw myself as a single parent to an only girl. Saw my daughter that had not yet been born walking along side of me, both of us engaged in conversation. 20 years later I am the parent of an only girl that I have not seen in 4 years. Since that sunny afternoon in 86 a series of events (coincidences/accidents) have led me to believe that something I can not quite explain is happening. I have walked a few paths of religion, including being a catholic priest, self-mutilation, the study of buddishm and the like. And yet something remained answered. Various years of my life I spent in active drug use (slammin heroin,acid, pot etc.) and yet something, that same feeling of 86 was with me. That same feeling was with me in prison. I fled the country (U.S.) seeking to find peace and found myself in a small town deep south in Mexico. I spoke to a curandero. An individual devoted to "The Blessed Death (La Santa Muerte)" He certain things that surprised me. Three years later I still find myself deep south in Mexico with that same feeling of 86. Not too long ago I felt that deep rooted feeling you feel when you cannot physically see anyone but feel that you are being bound and from that same feeling you can not breath. This same man said that I too know about "the craft (magic, witchcraft)" and because of this certain members of my family talk bad of me and isolate me. (you must understand that mexican society in a small town is something unlike I have ever experienced). I have never formally studied along side anyone or devoted much time too the study of the occult and esoteric. It has alway been that feeling of 86. What is it? Who is it? Keep in mind that I am chicano (not many people here in mexico know that) Why I have stayed 3 years is a long and tragic love story. The truth is...that feeling still is with me. I feel something is left undone. There is something I am supposed to learn. A path I am supposed to walk. I humbly ask a higher power for serenity. And seek guidance from you...my unseen and most revered teachers. (Tlazocamati = Thank you)

Hello Ash,

I'm from California but I've been living in jalisco for almost 5 years. I left because I was witness to a murder and since the cops didn't plan on doing anything about it and I was in danger, I came here with family and I've not regretted it. There really is something powerful about living in a small town (or in my case, un rancho) where everyone knows you and (in my case again) thinks you're a serial killer (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) It doesn't help that I arrived here with my long hair past my shoulders with a dark look on my face carrying a guitar case (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) Everyone thought I was the guy from "el mariachi".

Here I became deeply interested in the occult after I was being psychically attacked by a girl I met at a party (she was not someone I was interested in dating, it was just one of those things) and once I found that magic worked for protection and healing, I decided to keep practicing until I could use it for anything else I needed in life. I've been doing that ever since.

I'd like to talk about la santa muerte (since everyone, it seems, practices worshipping her here in mexico; I don't personally know anybody that practices goetic or solomonic magic for example here in mexico) and this is a subject I know very little about. Feel free to PM me.

Ash, since you state that you are Chicano, I would suggest you look into the magical/folk traditions of the people (and spirits of the land) in your region or Mexico in general. Perhaps the spirits and your ancestors are the ones calling you --to guide you in your path. A curandero, perhaps, could give you some insight on the traditions in your region. There is probably information on the Internet as well.