Whooo! I Did... Something... 8) Options

So... I couldn't sleep last night, the weed didn't help, neither did a half cig. I was irritated and my neck was aching. Haven't done my rituals for like two days after a sucessful practice, felt miserable apathetic and down. Read a bit of I.Regardies M.P and have decided to take to doing the full M.P ritual (each seprioth) from now.

Anyway.. at like 6am half in half out of sleep and now hungry I did it.

I looked at my hand. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Anti climax I know but I was half asleep and I thought, right let me look at my hand and see if I can astral travel. It was my hand but I couldn't see any detail it was just a shadow, I then woke up and noted that my hand was under the cover so it could not have been my real hand.

.lol.

When I don't smoke weed I have weird dreams aplenty, in reality (excuse the pun) I should be able to project by now. To off the anti climax, it was deliberate I'm sorry (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif) I'll detail a few of my dreams.

Take a walk, fly or sit with Mchawi....

('Mchawi' is Swahili for 'Wizard' btw)

Dream 1;

Was in a diffrent world but thought it was this one. In this world there were three moons. It was so vivid I thought it was real I was alerting dream people to the second moon at first shaking them as they walked past and standing in awe at it taking picutres and all sorts. It was soon after a cloud moved and the third moon became apparent. As said, I thought it was real, I ran into a room where a professor was, the room was narrow and he was at a desk. It was that guy from Star Trek, the bald one. (Recently watched Nemisis) He was disintrested and was writing something. All the time I felt as though I was being chaperoned. Can't remember the reaction of the dream people, if any of them were at all intrested it may have been me making it so as it felt so real.

As usual, being my stubborn self I didn't write it down in my diary.

Dream 2

Had just finished my rituals, think I smoked some 'erbz and nodded off... my brother was outside my room talking to my dad. Something was wrong and my dad was trying to calm him down and was thinking about knocking on my room door to get me to help. I panicked as my brother tried to 'harm himself' last year after having a psycotic episode. Think I was hyperventilating in my dream, taking on too much air as I floated and became stuck to my room celing, all in a state of panic I was like a fish out of water stuck with my head attached to the celing (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif). Meant something to me because it was as though the dream had made me panic and I had astralled, floated up and gotten stuck.

Again, no diary entry.

Dream 3

This is was one of the most odd dreams I've had, was lost as to what to feel or think about it.

I was a child hiding in a bush, some people were trying to set alight a tent full of other children piled up on top of one another, some were moving,

''Oh its ok they're alive''

... I started throwing stones at the men with the thought that I could ignite their petrol or what ever it was and stop them from setting alight the tent. At this point they spotted me... thing is they weren't 'human' their faces were distorted, groutesque. The scene was as such that I took note that I was in Sudan and that the men were Arabs, but that they weren't Arabs or Muslem in any way. The shaman, their leader had on a mask that was like a hippo or a lion with large tusks stemming from its face outward like a bulls horns. He was dancing and moving in a very drifty manner, they spotted me in the bush and at least I thought they started to chase me... I ran through a dusty worn area fearing for my life a man in an army uniform tried to stop me.

Remember distinctly, 'Who would do such a thing?'

Thats where I was confused as to if I was being chased or not as the army was there. I didn't trust the army man..

''He could be one of them, sometimes they help them'' ????

He splayed his legs and arms trying to stop me from running past but I dodged him, could remember his face, his uniform, everything. He wasn't wearing a blue hat. I ran off into some shrub/swamp like land and had a distinct feeling of being alone and lost,

''Where can I go? I can't trust anyone, I'm alone!''

I started jumping on branches like a cat in a flight like manner still thinking the shaman was chasing me and woke up.

It was after this dream that I started taking note that some people can (without magick or deliberate possesion) become or are literal demons & monsters and that there are levels in which that demon/monster operates and can be seen, their human faces are like a fog see through the mist and they're not human at all. Woke up confused as anything, I wasn't angry, scared or anything like that but it felt as though I had family there and had shared an experience with one of them or something. It was a while before I could collect myself and it was then that the rest of the dream kind of became apparent, that there had been an attack and I had hidden in the bushes over night my friends weren't so lucky, think they were alive, if I thought they were dead I wouldn't have been able to cope with the dream at all.

(I'm not ''African'' btw... am Afro-Carib, diffrent experience although forced into being so)

Sometimes think I smoke weed to hide from my dreams .lol. At times it feels as though someone is with me, guiding me. lol. In another dream/nightmare I was being chased by a relentless demon, scratching and clawing after me as I ran, it was inches from catching me, all the while I was being told to duck!, turn left!, turn right! by the character Angel from the Buffy program. Had EVERY weapon I could conjour Grand theft auto style but nothing could stop this thing. After reciving a bit of directional advice from Angel the thing turned around and took him out!... Wasn't really scared up until that point .lol. The thing just grabbed Angel by the neck like he was nothing and carried on chasing me. lol. Ok, it was probably my inner demon but for real if it was I'm not too keen on facing it .lol.

All the while I can't seem to project, am imbalanced in general but even then can manage to clear myself with ritual work. Hope that all made up for the anti climax. Heh. Might take up Bruces course on how to project, although it gets a bit blurry, kind of do half the practices in C.M anyway. The Practice of Daleth isn't allowing for me to project as of yet either although it is a good technique.

Waffling. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Peace!
M

This post has been edited by Mchawi: Jun 8 2007, 01:10 PM

Wow, that seems like a pretty cool experience. personnally, I have had a lot of trouble trying to accomplish astral projection. I have heard that looking up at a starry sky for a while works very well to allow you to 'pop' out of your body. Anyways, thanx for sharing. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)