Burning Self-sacrifice, ...and something about the Necronomicon Options

I had this dream about 2 or 3 weeks ago and I'm not sure what to make of it. I was in in the wearhouse here on the property (it was originally built to hold two tractors) and it was pretty much empty except for a pile of flattened cardboard boxes I had piled up on the cement. It was at night, and the one of the large sliding doors was open. I sprayed the boxes with lighter fluid and layed down in the pile, then sprayed my stomach with the ligher fluid as well. Then I tossed the can aside and brought out a matchbox and paused, asking myself if "this is the only way." After a moment, I resolved in myself that there was no other way to accomplish whatever it was I was trying to do. I knew that I was either going to come back or ascend or accomplish somethng huge that would highly benefit me, but right now I don't know what that is.

After this momentary pause, I unhesitatingly struck the match and lit my stomach on fire. The flames quickly spread to the boxes and I could feel the flames all over my body, but the fire was most intense on my stomach. While I was burning, I knew "this is the only way" and watched the flames dance and consume me. Strangely, the fire burned only a little. Instead, the pain was more of an ache in my stomach, and I remember looking at my stomach and seeing that my clothing had burned away, but my skin was not scorched. Furthermore, the fire on my stomach was a little brighter than the rest of the fire and seemed to be burning its way down into me and I knew I was about to die.

Then I woke up. It made sense in the dream and I had a very specific purpose for doing this. I think was some sort of transformation, like a phoenix thing. In any case, I know for a fact that I discovered something which is why I was ritually killing myself, but I don't know if I was offering myself as a sacrifice or if it was some other kind of ritual. I also vaguely remember the word "Necronomicon" crossing my mind in the dream as well, as if I discovered something that was a spin-off of it, or indirectly related, or something. Argh why do dreams have to be so vague?

What is this? My guess is that it is some kind of transformation because how can one benefit from their own death?

This post has been edited by Slayden: Aug 10 2007, 05:42 AM

I was in in the wearhouse here on the property (it was originally built to hold two tractors) and it was pretty much empty except for a pile of flattened cardboard boxes I had piled up on the cement. It was at night, and the one of the large sliding doors was open.

The wearhouse represents a kind of paradigm within yourself. If could be emotional or behavioral. Because its night this is not something you are open about or maybe have enen fully discovered yourself. You may not be aware exactly what the structure represents. A wearhouse is a place of storage. My guess would be that what it stores is stuff that you either supress about yourself and don't aknowledge or something that you hide from others.

I sprayed the boxes with lighter fluid and layed down in the pile, then sprayed my stomach with the ligher fluid as well. Then I tossed the can aside and brought out a matchbox and paused, asking myself if "this is the only way." After a moment, I resolved in myself that there was no other way to accomplish whatever it was I was trying to do. I knew that I was either going to come back or ascend or accomplish somethng huge that would highly benefit me, but right now I don't know what that is.

After this momentary pause, I unhesitatingly struck the match and lit my stomach on fire. The flames quickly spread to the boxes and I could feel the flames all over my body, but the fire was most intense on my stomach. While I was burning, I knew "this is the only way" and watched the flames dance and consume me.

Ritualistically burning yourself is as though you are attempting to purify yourself. Perhaps you want to be different or change certain qualities about yourself. maybe you feel some measure of guilt about whatever your inner wearhouse stores.

Strangely, the fire burned only a little. Instead, the pain was more of an ache in my stomach, and I remember looking at my stomach and seeing that my clothing had burned away, but my skin was not scorched. Furthermore, the fire on my stomach was a little brighter than the rest of the fire and seemed to be burning its way down into me and I knew I was about to die.

The purification didn't work. You attempted to alter yourself so that what your wearhouse stores is no longer affecting you. But all that happened was you felt pain. Perhaps that is actually what you need. Not to feel pain but deal with some emotion or condition about yourself that causes you to have negative feelings - which you store, or rather suppress, in your wearhouse. Maybe the dream is trying to tell you that need to deal with something your've been storing up for some time, never really dealing with it, and that now it is really starting to affect you. Indeed a transformation is what the dream implies. Only its not a magickal transformation as much as a psychological one. Maybe the necronomicon was presented to you by your sub-consciouness as a possible way to work through whatever you've been keeping inside of your wearhouse.

You didn't mention much about what was in the wearhouse so I can't tell you what any thing in there means. If this truely does interest you then I would conjure up a good idea of what the wearhouse looked like hold that image just before you go to sleep. Maybe even draw a picture and ponder on it while just before you sleep. The intention is you'll have another dream with the same theme and will discover more meaning to it.