Spirits And Specters, A bit of personal history Options

I was born allergic to practically everything with almost no immune system. My mother brought me home after a month of living off an IV and fed me chocolate pudding and put me to bed certain that I would die. Obviously I lived. Ever since then I have had an extraordinary medium ability. Not just the spirits of the dead, but a large spectrum of varying spirits and entities.

Well as I grew up I grew to accept and utilize this ability. I took up practicing the sword to help me feel like I could defend myself against these spirits. During my training I discovered that I could call on these spirits for aid. I call them into my body and I would let them control my body. It has helped me win several spars with people of varying skill level. Not only with the sword, but all manner of weapons. Some that I have not seen or used before.

Not everything I have summoned has been human, or friendly. I have been good at retaking control when needed so that isn’t too much of a problem. However, there is one entity, who seems human but I get a strong sense of something MUCH more. Thoughts of a wraith or something similar to the grim reaper often come to mind when I think of or hear from the entity. I have never been able to call it into my body. It is the only one that has resisted me. It is able to overpower me easily.

The thing that intrigues me is that it often observes me. It has even aided me in training buy giving me lessons of sort. I do not fear this entity, but I do hold a firm respect for it. It has stayed with me for as long as I can remember and for as long as I can remember I have known its life. I’ve seen its life through its eyes and felt what it felt. The thing that troubles me about it is no life that I can connect to any reality that I know of. It can effect the environment effortlessly. It has flipped my bed with me in it before. It has never hrt me and I have never felt threatened by it.

What are your takes on the situation?

I can tell you what I have seen from its life if it helps.

From the description, I would say it could be a higher self, a guardian angel, something along these lines. It could be an ascended master of some sort as well.

As far as the idea that it is death, or grim-reaper like, it is sometimes said that a man's death stalks him through life. Don Juan suggested death stood behind a man's left shoulder. I have had a conversation with my death before, and while it was not confirmed, I felt that it was myself, after I had died and been loosed from the constraint of time and space. It may be something along these lines as well.

Me advice, is to simply continue observing it, interact with it, learn from it. If it means you know harm then it is possible it hasn't explained itself explicitly simply because you do not need to know, or are not supposed to know yet, or because knowing would affect you adversely. Some entities come to us to teach us specific lessons, and some come to teach us something more broad and indefinable, and in either case, they typically know what they are doing, and give us what we need to know to either learn the lesson or ultimately figure it all out ourselves, and there is in that case a great benefit to the process of observing, understanding, and learning the truth of the matter. I didn't understand my first spirit teacher at all for many years, until finally the culmination of all that he had taught me brought me to an experiential understanding through retrospective contemplation, of who and what he was. And that process while long and difficult, ultimately allowed me a great insight into myself and other experiences that were to come afterwards, which I would not have understood if I had simply been told the whole story from the beginning.

peace