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 Stupid Questions, for which there is probably no answer |
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| bym |
 Oct 9 2006, 05:39 PM
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Gone But Not Forgotten
Posts: 1,244
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
From: New London, Connecticut, USA
Reputation: 9 pts
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Sorry...but I've never noticed nostrils on fish... and ...isn't it Pee- Wee's playhouse? The shows host, Paul Reubens, was caught masturbating in an adult movie theatre...so now they only show his kids show on Adult TV...?...go figure... but...why are some Aquariums and Museums using braille on the dioramas? (IMG: style_emoticons/default/face08.gif)
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| Fenix |
Jan 4 2007, 12:30 AM
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Neophyte
Posts: 25
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
Reputation: none
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Some stupid ones, but here goes... Why do you drive on parkways, but park on driveways? And also, if the moon's gravity has enough force to move all the water in the ocean(tides), then why doesnt it move us? EDIT: (oops i just saw the dates... (IMG: style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) i hope someone will read this....) This post has been edited by Fenix: Jan 4 2007, 12:32 AM
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To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
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| UnKnown1 |
Jan 4 2007, 04:28 AM
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Smasher666
Posts: 996
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
Reputation: 27 pts
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Greetings,
I will now answer everyone stupid questions via my assistant The Green Fairy. The Green Fairy is all knowing and all powerful. Do not doubt the might of The Green Fairy. I won him as a prize in a box of Lucky Charms cereal.
Greetings Acid,
There is no channel 0 or 1 because these are reserved for radio channel frequencies.
Greetings Angalor,
Actually German scientists invented a call button for a remote. However it became very evident that if woman kind could use a remote control to also gossip with their friends that man kind would never regain control of the television. The German Scientists were charged with treason and hanged.
Greetings Acid,
The reason the Cartoon Network has decided to place Pee Wee Herman on adult swim is not just due to limited episodes of CorGoth the Barbarian. All the kids who used to watch Pee Wee are now grown up and sitting up late at night smoking non tobacco substances. The Cartoon Network created a super computer to calculate exactly when this target audience would be looking for new CorGoth episodes and re launched the play house. The super computer of course tries to take over the world but was Terminated by an adolescent his mother and an android on steroids. Also keep in mind as BYM has pointed out that the police staked Herman out and followed him into an X rated movie <where wierdos wank their wienies> and arrested him. So remember if you are a weirdo and want to wank your wienie in a movie don’t be a celebrity or the police will stake you out. At least he did not go Eddie Murphy and wander the street looking for stranded transsexuals to offer rides.
Greetings Palindroem,
Fish usually have gills. However Columbian fish often become addicted to Cocaine and develop nostrils. These fish grow incredibly large. They then can climb out of the water and still breath. They migrate to small fishing ponds. Then when you least expect it you hook one of these monster fish and it steals your expensive fishing rod by ripping it out of your hands. You try to tell people your “Big one that got away story.” However everyone laughs at you and says you are an idiot for dropping your fishing pole in the water and that you had to have been really drunk.
Greetings BYM,
The Green Fairy is stumped as to why museums and aquariums are using Braille on diorama. If you have really bad diorama you should take Imodium and drink milk as this will save you money on toilet paper. The green Fairy does know what the Braille says. It says “Don’t touch this its $hit.”
Motsie
The discovery channel is quite aware that the majority of people want to learn as much as possible. They detected that unless they did something right away that every one would become rocket scientists and no longer watch their network as these people would already know everything. The discovery channel immediately started broadcasting a stupid signal. This signal makes most people stupid. Some people seem to be immune to the signal. Others instead of becoming stupid become a$$holes. A small minority of these people become stupid a$$holes.
Greetings Deathstalker,
You can not come up with questions that matter because you “Don’t care.” Because “Everyone is stupid A$$holes.”
Greetings Acid,
The reason that they sterilize the needle before they execute the inmate is because they are afraid the inmate will get tetnis. These spores replicating inside a dead body cause it to come back to life. This actually happened in a prison and the dead rose and devoured the living. The French Government covered this up but sold a video game idea called Resident Evil.
If we killed all the stupid people then none of us smart people could use them to become rich. We need stupid people to buy all the crap we market on infomercials. After all a smart person is going to say he “Don’t care.” Call us “Stupid a$$holes and change the channel.”
Greetings Pilgrim Child,
Pregnant birds can fly. However they develop permanent PMS rage and lash out on their spouses. After the baby birds are born they develop postpartum depression. This eventually develops into Michael Jackson syndrome and the mother birds kick their baby birds out of the nest in attempt to kill them. Because of this god decided to give birds wings so that when their mothers attempt to murder them they can “Fly away.”
Greetings Palindroem,
A better question would be what does the brail say on the drive through ATM’s? It says. “Greetings blind stupid a$$hole. If you continue to stand here someone is going to run you’re a$$ over! Get a seeing eye dog you moron!
Greetings Fenix,
Actually that is a smart question and has no place in the stupid question thread. The Green Fairy can not answer that question out of fear that some “stupid a$$hole will read this and smarten up. Which would result in The Green Fairy losing a lot of money on his late night informercials.
Peace to all!
This post has been edited by Edunpanna: Jan 4 2007, 04:30 PM
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| Barnard |
 Apr 6 2007, 05:20 PM
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Neophyte
Posts: 94
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
From: Fort Gordon, Georgia
Reputation: 1 pts
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That's hilarious. I write science fiction as a hobby. May I have your permission to incorporate some of the content from this post into my story?
QUOTE(Edunpanna @ Jan 4 2007, 05:28 AM)  Greetings,
I will now answer everyone stupid questions via my assistant The Green Fairy. The Green Fairy is all knowing and all powerful. Do not doubt the might of The Green Fairy. I won him as a prize in a box of Lucky Charms cereal.
Greetings Acid,
There is no channel 0 or 1 because these are reserved for radio channel frequencies.
Greetings Angalor,
Actually German scientists invented a call button for a remote. However it became very evident that if woman kind could use a remote control to also gossip with their friends that man kind would never regain control of the television. The German Scientists were charged with treason and hanged.
Greetings Acid,
The reason the Cartoon Network has decided to place Pee Wee Herman on adult swim is not just due to limited episodes of CorGoth the Barbarian. All the kids who used to watch Pee Wee are now grown up and sitting up late at night smoking non tobacco substances. The Cartoon Network created a super computer to calculate exactly when this target audience would be looking for new CorGoth episodes and re launched the play house. The super computer of course tries to take over the world but was Terminated by an adolescent his mother and an android on steroids. Also keep in mind as BYM has pointed out that the police staked Herman out and followed him into an X rated movie <where wierdos wank their wienies> and arrested him. So remember if you are a weirdo and want to wank your wienie in a movie don’t be a celebrity or the police will stake you out. At least he did not go Eddie Murphy and wander the street looking for stranded transsexuals to offer rides.
Greetings Palindroem,
Fish usually have gills. However Columbian fish often become addicted to Cocaine and develop nostrils. These fish grow incredibly large. They then can climb out of the water and still breath. They migrate to small fishing ponds. Then when you least expect it you hook one of these monster fish and it steals your expensive fishing rod by ripping it out of your hands. You try to tell people your “Big one that got away story.” However everyone laughs at you and says you are an idiot for dropping your fishing pole in the water and that you had to have been really drunk.
Greetings BYM,
The Green Fairy is stumped as to why museums and aquariums are using Braille on diorama. If you have really bad diorama you should take Imodium and drink milk as this will save you money on toilet paper. The green Fairy does know what the Braille says. It says “Don’t touch this its $hit.”
Motsie
The discovery channel is quite aware that the majority of people want to learn as much as possible. They detected that unless they did something right away that every one would become rocket scientists and no longer watch their network as these people would already know everything. The discovery channel immediately started broadcasting a stupid signal. This signal makes most people stupid. Some people seem to be immune to the signal. Others instead of becoming stupid become a$$holes. A small minority of these people become stupid a$$holes.
Greetings Deathstalker,
You can not come up with questions that matter because you “Don’t care.” Because “Everyone is stupid A$$holes.”
Greetings Acid,
The reason that they sterilize the needle before they execute the inmate is because they are afraid the inmate will get tetnis. These spores replicating inside a dead body cause it to come back to life. This actually happened in a prison and the dead rose and devoured the living. The French Government covered this up but sold a video game idea called Resident Evil.
If we killed all the stupid people then none of us smart people could use them to become rich. We need stupid people to buy all the crap we market on infomercials. After all a smart person is going to say he “Don’t care.” Call us “Stupid a$$holes and change the channel.”
Greetings Pilgrim Child,
Pregnant birds can fly. However they develop permanent PMS rage and lash out on their spouses. After the baby birds are born they develop postpartum depression. This eventually develops into Michael Jackson syndrome and the mother birds kick their baby birds out of the nest in attempt to kill them. Because of this god decided to give birds wings so that when their mothers attempt to murder them they can “Fly away.”
Greetings Palindroem,
A better question would be what does the brail say on the drive through ATM’s? It says. “Greetings blind stupid a$$hole. If you continue to stand here someone is going to run you’re a$$ over! Get a seeing eye dog you moron!
Greetings Fenix,
Actually that is a smart question and has no place in the stupid question thread. The Green Fairy can not answer that question out of fear that some “stupid a$$hole will read this and smarten up. Which would result in The Green Fairy losing a lot of money on his late night informercials.
Peace to all!
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Stand strong for what's true in your heart, your mind and your soul. Be different. Be true. Be real.
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| Acid09 |
Apr 10 2007, 03:50 PM
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Health Hazzard
Posts: 894
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
From: Colorado, USA
Reputation: 16 pts
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I'm sure if there royalties involved Edunpanna would be happy to let you use his matterial. QUOTE And also, if the moon's gravity has enough force to move all the water in the ocean(tides), then why doesnt it move us? Since I'm currently taking an astronomy course I can answer this one (never.... ever.... take astronomy online if you haven't had college physics first) It does, however, exert a similar affect on people as it does the oceans, just in a far smaller way. Teens just call them pimples. Thats right eat all the french fries you can handle and you'll be ok but when that full moon comes out - better get out the oxy pads. But don't worry once you're an adult (exactly at age 21) you develope an immunity to evil moon's affect. Now I got a sorta religious question: If God is all powerful and all knowing, then why did he put the tree of knowledge in the garden of Eden knowing that eventually either Adam or Eve would give in and eat from it? And if it was really part of God's "plan" then why did he get angry and kick Adam and Eve out of the Garden? err was God planning on getting angry too?
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| Fio Praeter Humanus |
May 16 2007, 12:54 PM
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Theurgist
Posts: 511
Age: N/A
Gender: Male
From: South, GA
Reputation: 6 pts
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Ok I am giving away that my kid watches a lot of tv but here we go.
On mickey mouse, Goofy is a dog. He talks, wears pants, and drives a car. Pluto is a dog, yet he barks and wears no clothes and is mickey's pet. WTF? Does Goofy get upset Mickey keeps a fellow dog as a pet or slave?
Also, Mickey wears boots, tiny red shorts, no shirt, yet has on work gloves. That is a hell of an outfit. Donald on the other hand wears no pants but has on a shirt. WTF?
While on the topic of odd outfits. Why does Donald Duck wear a US Navy shirt yet has on a Japanese Navy Hat? Is he in the Navy and if so which one?
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