Nervousness And Confidence Issues. Options

Hi ppl. Im new here. I feel very scared whenever i have to present something to an audience. I would always think abt the presentation for days and get depressed and afraid as a result of that. Whenever i talk, i feel that my sentences are not fluent. I stammer and speak very fast. Is there any sort of meditations or affirmations that are effective at solving my problem? Any help would be greatly appreciated. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Speaking as someone who used to have this problem i have a few suggestions.

First of all is belief. I used to be a person who was incredibly shy to speak in front of people. However, i worked on it, and work on it still and today my i am a High School History Teacher. In other words, you must believe that you can do this.

Secondly, i would say that i could thing to do to start off would be to practice getting in front of people as many times as possible ... practice your speech or presentation beforehand and be sure that you know enough about your topic. Practice definitely helps in this case.

Confidence in yourself is the key factor, believe in yourself and know your doing your best ... after that it won't matter as much whether people liked you or not.

Thx Velarius. Does anyone hav any visualizations or effective affirmations for my problem?

I'm actually taking a speech class this summer. I put it off and now I have to do it to get my degree... yeah I hate doing speeches. And I'm an extrovert. I don't mind talking or expressing myself to people people. I'm not shy at all. Before I started this class, when I got up in front of people, especially if the speeches were taped, I felt just about the same way you do. Its a strange sensation to because I'm standing up in front of a group of people I know what I need to do I know there is no need to be nervous and yet I shake, I stammer a little, I foget things I want to say and so forth.

But this class has taught me some skills that have helped me to cope with self-confidence and nervousness. First off, according to my teacher, being a little nervous before a speech is a good thing. I know it might sound strange, it did to me anyways. The theory is that being a little nervous means your alert, focused and less likely to make mistakes.

Then the next two biggest factors are notes and preperation. You don't want to give a speech that is memorized because memory is a horribly inaccurate thing - especially under preasure. You can give a speech verbatum off a series of notes but you'll sound like a robot or one of those children's story tellers. You can give an impromtu speech, but that is a very bad idea because you don't have any notes and often such speeches have little prep time. The best speech to give is the kind that you prepare for and that you have accurate and helpful notes for.

When I prepare for a speech I litterally write out what I want to say and practice saying it aloud. I will not only practice the lines of my speech, but also my compossure and body language. This includes any specific gestures, tones of voice, gimmicks or jokes I want to incorperate to add an affect.

Then for my notes when I have practiced my speech enough times that its mostly commited to memory I just use my speech outline. I do practice more with my outline, so I know what to expect from it. But I tweak it so that the font is 14 pt and I highlight key points by making them bold. This works for me just fine but I also use a podium and if you have to stand in front of an audience without that, then note cards are probably better. If you do use regular notes, type in 32 pt font in simple times new roman or what have you, they should be simple and consice and tie into your speech directly. You might want to use a key ring to bind them together or at least number the notes just in case you drop them.

I could go on on how to give an effective speech, but you're not asking how to give a good speech you're asking how to get over some anxiety issues. And the practice will help you with that because it'll make you more confident if you know what you're suppose to say. Then the notes will also help because they will keep you directed and focused on what you are saying. They will help your memory and help you keep track of where you are in your speech.

Now meditation is not a bad idea, it helps me. When I do it, usually just as I wake up I focus directly on my breathing and litterally visualize the speech. As in I see the class room, I see the students, picture where they are, I see the guy opperating the camera and the instructor in the back round. Then I visualize myself giving the speech. And for this part accuracy does not matter at all. The point of this part is to focus on being calm, but more importantly, in self control.

Then just before I give my speech I take a few deep breathes, assure myself that I can do it and just stop thinking and just start doing. Its almost like my mind goes into autopilot and my brain has rehersed the speech enough that it comes almost naturally and then its done. Let me say boy it feels good to be done with a speech!

Finally and I think this is probably the most important thing next to good preperation and notes - get a good nights sleep. Seriously. If you are tired, overly stressed and unable to focus it will sabotage the quality of your speech. Not only that but you will be aware of the fact that you are not at your peak ability, which will only increase your anxiety. If you wake up rested, alert and ready to go your confidence will be high. If you are the kind of person who losses sleep over stress make sure you have 8-10 hours of sleep and take a couple tylenol pm. Don't have any? Go to the dollar store they sell 1 dollar boxes that have a little bottle with 2 pills in them. When used as directed they will help you get a good nights sleep. But don't use them every day as you'll just build a tollerance and possibly even dependance on them.

And one more thing - go first! Or at least as soon as possible. If you're the type who worries and stresses over giving speeches going last or close to it will mean that all your energy will be wasted just worrying. But if you get it done and out of the way, that preasure will instantly be lifted off your chest and all you have to do is sit and drool with relief while everyone else takes their turn.

Perhaps not a very magickal approach. If you specifically want to go that route then I would look up a meaningful mantra, or saying and while you meditate just repeat that mantra. Of course the mantra should be something that is empowering and calming. I've simply used the saying "Wax on, wax off..." (from karate kid). Sounds silly and I know it is silly but for me, throwing in a little sense of humor can calm myself right down.

Thank you so much. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

hey! well i dont know if you'd be willing to try my method. its a little over the top, and well, thats the point.

okay. to start it off with a story. i was going into college music major and i was auditioning for various judges to get into the music school (i had to first get into the university, and then separately apply for the music schools). My main instrument was voice. I get nervous. Vocalists who get nervous have a tough time of it, because they need full command of their bodies to breath properly.
anyway, my very first audition i fainted in front of the judges i was so nervous. But i sang anyway. of course i didn't impress them, but the point im trying to make is...feeling what the worst possible failure is like, i went the very next day to another college...and i tell you i never had such a light hearted professional performance since!...knowing what the worst possible reality at hand could feel like, makes it easier for you to walk up on that stage. Why? because A) you've already faced the worst of it and B) you now have the opportunity to get better for a crowd that WANTS you to succeed and C) now you can look forward to the best of it.

im not suggesting you fail. Im saying looking at that best and worst case scenario, roll play it in your head (and be real...dont let it get out of control), and then just do it. I think you will find the less preparation time you give yourself, the less anxiety you build up. so if given the opportunity to speak earlier than later...speak earlier!

there is also the key issue of being easy on yourself. so what if you fumble a lil? you are human, and no one else opted to do this, so really...you got one on them. this is for yourself and no one else!

some tips:
give your hands something to do.
lots of anxiety is caused because you dont know what to do with your hands. make an easy decision of it...use your hands to emphasize what you are saying. as a singer, they had me hold my hands to my side at first. once i had technique down, they encouraged using my hands to relax my body and pull my emotions out and draw the people into the music. it gos the same for an orator. dont go overboard...but giving your hands a job will make you a lot less self conscious and fidgety looking.

do not touch your face or your hair, people will know you are nervous and it will make you more nervous doing these things

have your hair back,

look at peoples' foreheads and not into their eyes (eyes are only for when you are practiced enough).

make sure your knees are shoulder length apart and relaxed, slightly bent. you want relaxed posture, that opens you to your audience...and not one that cuts off from your circulation!

avoid caffeine in the days right before a speech. caffeine makes anxiety worse and messes with your sleep patterns. try to avoid a lot of processed sugar too. do not drink milk for the morning, dont eat anything too rich either; these things coat your throat and make it hard to speak. clearing your throat, au contraire, makes it worse.

never apologize or drop a joke on yourself in front of the audience. why do that to yourself? instead if you want to connect with your audience smile and use friendly body language and thank the audience for coming.

before you get on stage, tell yourself a joke, laugh a little, try to get your mind off of the source of anxiety. you are over the preparation period, now all you can do is enjoy yourself and go for the ride. why not be relaxed doing it? remind yourself, what are the reasons why you are doing this. Do you love what you do? Are you promoting a cause you believe in? Is this a growing process for you; are you shy usually? in this case, deciding an obstacle wont hold you back is incredibly empowering.

take a moment, and relax your face.

and then your neck.

and then your shoulders.

"everything will be ok" no matter what happens!!!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/angel.gif)