Ego, What is Ego? Options

As a person, I have a big ego. I want to win at all costs. I want this and that. I simply want to have it my way. I want the cake and the icing too. I am spoiled and always want to take more than I give back. Is this an example of an Ego?

My ego boost me to gain riches, health, love and many other conquests.
My ego also make new enemies, destroy and corrupt various aspects of me and my environment consciously and subconsciously.

What is EGO? What does this word means?
How do you define it? How do you keep it your slave instead of it enslaving you?
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I'm not sure what the 'proper' description of Ego is, but to me it is the selfish part of the self. The part of the self that turns desire in to obsession, turns wants into needs and blocks our connection to everyone and everything in the universe.

Ego is a combination of pride and darkness... It is the key to all of our dark intentions and it uses itself in order for us to gain more than we expect...

Personaly... Ego does more harn that good... If you can "kill" it... then you can reach you fullest potential...

What you describe as ego in the above is in a part willpower. You have a strong will, and when you will something you will do anything to get it. you will not stop because any of your own weaknesses(inertia, laziness, greed, fear, anger) hold you back.

Wanting to win is not what is commonly associated with the ego.

What most people describe as ego can be compared to the Freudian id, you can easily google that, i suggest you research that, the Freudian trinity.

There are many things called ego. Its confusing...

Killing the ego is not wise, it is necessary for a well rounded personality. but you should not be a slave to it.

In the end it does not matter what you call it, and how you rationalize your own Psyche. It is all bullshit.

no amount of reasoning or thinking will subdue your ego or kill it. no matter how far you comprehend your own mind...
Only by living and not being a slave of your own impulses can you be freed. You live your life on second at a time, its all about choices and going against the choices that are easiest but worst in the long run.

Be free, invent yourself and strengthen your willpower.

Killing the ego is like killing life. I am where I am now because of my ego alone - for better or for worst - (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

So, ego is not equal to pride? I think pride is part of Ego.

the ego is a word. it means whatever you associate with it, many people associate many different things to the English word ego. That is where all the confusion comes from.

To me the ego is the selfish side of myself, the side that is lazy. the side that only wants pleasure and no work. the side that gives up when i am tired of something. the side of my that gets bored when i don't have anything usefully to do.

pride can be split into parts. Failing to do something because you are to proud to do it is ego. Refusing to do something because it is degrading and goes against your pride is not bad in my book. Standing up to people beating you down, and not turning the other cheek is good pride to me to.

I am no pacifist, many religious people are too passive for my tastes.

I am aggressive and proud, I will not let anyone destroy my pride or spirit.

Forget about killing the ego, just live. Live your life one second at a time, forget about the bullshit.
Handle each choice calmly as it comes, and don't let your ego make the choices for you. Wu-Wei as the taoists say, remain unattached and free, flow trough life.
That is all there is to it.

knowledge is baggage, wisdom is light and can be applied to knowledge. Knowledge without wisdom makes you a fool, and there are numerous people like this.

(forgive my rambling, i am in a strange mood today... )

knowledge is baggage, wisdom is light and can be applied to knowledge. Knowledge without wisdom makes you a fool, and there are numerous people like this.

Seemed like Ego and other things means a lot of different thing to individuals.
Here is my own representations other than I "agreed" with:

To me the ego is the selfish side of myself, the side that is lazy. the side that only wants pleasure and no work. the side that gives up when i am tired of something. the side of my that gets bored when i don't have anything usefully to do.

To me, ego is neither good or bad. Like magick, there's no black and white but the intend that really matters. IMHO, it is impossible to be "egoless" as Mother Theresa make HERSELF feel good helping people.

Failing to do something because you are to proud to do it is ego.

Same representation here. I get a LOT of this "ego problem" myself (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

Refusing to do something because it is degrading and goes against your pride is not bad in my book.

I'll call this "dignity" as I refuse to walk and to talk with the sheep (IMG:style_emoticons/default/haha.gif) Birds of the same feather flocks together.

Knowledge without wisdom makes you a fool, and there are numerous people like this.

NATO = No Action Talk Only >>> Me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/004.gif)

(forgive my rambling, i am in a strange mood today... )

I'm always in my own weird mood, so I understand (IMG:style_emoticons/default/00000037.gif)

The only way I've been able to manage my ego is not using it liberally. You may need it to function in life, but even still it can't be given more attention or credit than it deserves. If you take on the ego for something that doesn't call for the mindset of an ego-aware individual, you only strengthen something you would like to minimize. YOU are not your ego; it is merely something that sheilds the reality from the ignorant illusion surrounding it. Also, a shift in awareness can really help; instead of juxtaposing the world around you, realizing that you are only a small part of it and that your life and drama means relatively little really stunts the ego. If we seek to unify ourselves with the All or the Nothing (however one perceives it), we have to attune our focus to It; we can't expect to transcend when we clutch ragged and torn concepts.

Let's try to clarify and define what "ego" first...
Ego = Values?
We live our life with sets of "conditioned" values mostly from our childhood and environment. When someone born and being feed with silver spoon, they usually has a set of values they follow, ie. they will dine in higher class restaurant, date only a person from certain social class, or certain standards, think and behave differently, etc. Ego?

Like I posted. I don't negate the word "ego" so this is my "conceptual" take on it.

Balanced Ego = Wisdom?
If so, then what is Wisdom?
Knowledge being put to "good" real life practice converted to experience which later become wisdom?

But then, what is a "balanced" wisdom?
Hmm.... I'm talking to myself... just ignore me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/hmm.gif)
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/lightning.gif)

Ego = Values?
We live our life with sets of "conditioned" values mostly from our childhood and environment. When someone born and being feed with silver spoon, they usually has a set of values they follow, ie. they will dine in higher class restaurant, date only a person from certain social class, or certain standards, think and behave differently, etc. Ego?

In the Freudian sense, not quite.
Freud divided the mind into three segments - the id, the ego and the superego.

The id is almost an unconscious version of what you described in your first post. It wants to make itself feel good, even to the detriment of others. Sex, hunger, sleep, that sort of thing.
The ego is the reality principle which tries to satisfy both the id and the superego, but in a socially acceptable way.
The superego is the system of values and morality.

In a more day-to-day sense, the ego is our selfishness.

I don't bother with either of these. Dividing the mind only leads to trouble.
Selfishness is something I try to avoid. It has no bearing on willpower, and I find it socially unacceptable. Selfishness, however, is not willpower - it is, in fact, the lack of willpower. It's easy to want to try and make yourself look and feel better than everyone else. Real willpower comes from being able to do what's right - and generally, that's to make as many people as possible look and feel good, even to one's own detriment.

that's to make as many people as possible look and feel good, even to one's own detriment.

Thats a dangerous statement, and one that could do you under in the future if you truly believe it. I know many people that follow a moral code like that and destroy their selves and ended up in depressions or worse because of it.

Always place your own health and important need above others.

Also other peoples happiness does not depend on your actions alone...

Are you sending all your money to poor country's to the extent that you don't have any money left to buy yourself food, clothing...

I don't bother with either of these. Dividing the mind only leads to trouble.

That is entirely true.
I would like to add that the concept of an ego is just a tool for dividing the mind. The ego itself does not exist, it is just a word with certain mental activities associated with it. In truth these activities are not depended on a thing called ego at all.These mental activities are just thoughts and things that happen in the mind. The ego cannot be killed or silenced, because it does not exist.

Selfishness is something I try to avoid. It has no bearing on willpower, and I find it socially unacceptable. Selfishness, however, is not willpower - it is, in fact, the lack of willpower. It's easy to want to try and make yourself look and feel better than everyone else. Real willpower comes from being able to do what's right - and generally, that's to make as many people as possible look and feel good, even to one's own detriment.

Again, i do not agree. Willpower and selfishness have nothing to do with each other. If it is your will do do a certain tasks, it is your willpower that pulls you trough it. If you use your will to counter selfishness then you do so by willpower. If i use my will to achieve certain selfish results then that is also willpower.

Trying to avoid selfishness is foolish, and I don't like this kind of black and white thinking. I am sure you are plenty selfish, or you would be dead already.


Actually this kind of reasoning is futile. The world is a complex place, and the mind has to deal with each situation in a different way. At some times acting selfish may be the right thing to do, and on other times being selfish is wrong.
Sometimes you have to listen to the advise of the ego, other times your ego is out of control.

It all depends on each specific situation. Thats what i meant by being free, and inventing yourself. If you have to measure each situation to some sort of moral code, then you are not wise at all...

Thats a dangerous statement, and one that could do you under in the future if you truly believe it. I know many people that follow a moral code like that and destroy their selves and ended up in depressions or worse because of it.

Not really.

Always place your own health and important need above others.

Also other peoples happiness does not depend on your actions alone...

Are you sending all your money to poor country's to the extent that you don't have any money left to buy yourself food, clothing...

So I should place my own health above someone else's? I should be allowed to punch someone to prevent them punching me? That's arrogant!
And of course other people's happiness doesn't depend on my actions alone. The point is, you can make people happy by being less selfish.
And no, but I give people money when they ask, even if I've never met them before.

Again, i do not agree. Willpower and selfishness have nothing to do with each other. If it is your will do do a certain tasks, it is your willpower that pulls you trough it. If you use your will to counter selfishness then you do so by willpower. If i use my will to achieve certain selfish results then that is also willpower.

That is what I was saying. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) It's just earlier you were saying that the ego, as described above that post, was partially willpower.

Trying to avoid selfishness is foolish, and I don't like this kind of black and white thinking. I am sure you are plenty selfish, or you would be dead already.

It would be hard not to be - it is ingrained into our society. Called consumerism.

Actually this kind of reasoning is futile. The world is a complex place, and the mind has to deal with each situation in a different way. At some times acting selfish may be the right thing to do, and on other times being selfish is wrong.
Sometimes you have to listen to the advise of the ego, other times your ego is out of control.

It all depends on each specific situation. Thats what i meant by being free, and inventing yourself. If you have to measure each situation to some sort of moral code, then you are not wise at all...

How so? A moral code gives you some guidelines to follow. It allows one to hold a stable personality rather than doing the same thing differently each time. Everyone has a moral code - it's just a part of their nature (it's built into your personality). If you didn't, you wouldn't see anything wrong with killing people.
Sure you deal with different situations differently, but all a moral code is some lines that you feel you shouldn't cross.

So I should place my own health above someone else's? I should be allowed to punch someone to prevent them punching me? That's arrogant!

What i meant is punching someone who punched you first.
Or avoiding someone who would like to punch you. Perhaps punching you makes him happy, Am i being selfish when i avoid being punched?

The point is that their are many shades of grey on this point.
Being completely unselfish is a futile attempt, and it will do nobody any good.

People around you will al turn to being selfish people making use of you, if you are to white in your thinking. On the black side you will be regarded as someone that is unfriendly and you will probably be hated.

The right thing to do is to find the correct shade of grey in between.

two short storys:

I refuse help on a daily basis, because i don't give people the quick fix.
My brother asked me to help him with his homework, basicly he expected me to solve all the problems for him. I refused and told him to study certain pages in his book. It would have taken me 3 minutes to do his homework, it took him an hour. He was quite mad at me at that time. But later he did understand the theory of his lessons because of it.
That appeared selfish to many people in my house, my mom was furious at me and i had a hard time because of it.

When I have exams for school i don't help around the house anymore. When people come to me for advise or help i refuse them. I make sure i study hard and pass my exams. And of course i do try to relax a fair amount of time, wich i could use for helping people. It is selfish of me, relaxing before helping people that ask me for help. But if i don't relax i can't perform at my best on my exams...


A different point of view.
A pedofile takes joy in raping young girls. Are these young girls being selfish by not letting themselves be raped? Clearly they are denying pleasure and joy to someone else, so it must be selfish of them?
That's why being selfish is a good thing!!!

(sorry for any spelling errors, i don't have spelling control on this box)

All this talk about killing the ego or not being dominated by it, could it not simply be put like this: Do what thou wilt.

In a sense, not doing what your true will "wants" you to, that would put the ego in the way, fear and all that, i may be way off tho since i havent really thought about it

Do what thou wilt can also be abused. Literally it could mean Do whatever you want! Ego is definately complicated thing aye! Especially when we analyze it too much lol!

To try to put it simply: controlling ego = do what we want while strive to achieve a win/win solution?

Do what thou wilt can also be abused. Literally it could mean Do whatever you want!

Isn't this kind of the point?

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law (notice the shall be, not is)
and also, love is the law, love under will.

Doesn't it imply to follow your true will, not 'what you want because youre hungry or mad or happy or whatever', but to follow ones true will.

I know it looks like 'do whatever you want i dont care' but i believe it has a deeper meaning.

Not that im thelemic or anything like that, just discussing =)

Some would say that 'do what thou wilt' is pure ego at work.

Ego is the thing that gets us through until we find our true selves, the more we get to know our true selves, the less we need it; I don't think that there are many that get to this point in life thouhg.

The ego seems to have a bad press, but I think this is because we allow it to get out of synch with the rest of our selves. It is essential to our wellbeing I believe and I have been trying to build mine up lately as it has had some hard knocks and has not been big enough for me to function effectively. Think I am nearly at the right point with it now.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

I agree to Radiant Star, Its all about finding the right point of balance.

I also agree to animus. do what you wilt shall be the whole of the law.
The ego sometimes takes control over the will, a strong will should control the ego.
A weak person follows this= "Do what thou egot shall be the whole of the law"
Just to show the difference. do what thou wilt does not equal do what you want.
It is to do what your will wants.

Example:
Planning to get up early, setting the alarm, and then..

Turning the alarm clock of and not getting up = going against the will and doing what the ego wants.

Waking up before the bell goes off with a smile = doing your will and refusing the desires of the ego.


PS: This is an interesting topic...

I think the greatest problem with the ego is others deciding how big or small your is and trying to meddle with it by 'helping' you shrink it a little (IMG:style_emoticons/default/uglyhammer.gif)

I have to say though, the ego is something that can provide a lot of fun in the form of jokes about others ego size (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

Lol, good one.

Some people are showing their big egos by bragging about how small their ego is, talk about a contradiction.
Still, its a strange concept, a big ego wants other people to think it is small.

Just thought i'd post what www.dictionary.com has to say about "ego":

1. The self, especially as distinct from the world and other selves.

2.In psychoanalysis, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and is most in touch with external reality.

3. a. An exaggerated sense of self-importance; conceit.
b. Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem.

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In psychoanalytic theory, the division of the psyche that is conscious, most immediately controls thought and behavior, and mediates between the person and external reality.

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1 : the self especially as contrasted with another self or the world
2 : the one of the three divisions of the psyche in psychoanalytic theory that serves as the organized conscious mediator between the person and reality especially by functioning both in the perception of and adaptation to reality

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1: an inflated feeling of pride in your superiority to others [syn: egotism, self-importance] 2: your consciousness of your own identity [syn: self] 3: (psychoanalysis) the conscious mind

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/ac42.gif) animus (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Aha! with that help, I can now say that certain life experiences left my conscious side feeling low, particularly after the death of my loved one when I felt a kind of worthlessness; I think this has something to do with the feelings of guilt one has when they lose someone suddenly; you think you could have done more/less/better etc and your sense of self suffers; you feel like a bad person who should have done this that and everything else. Your self esteem hits rock bottom as you believe you got it all wrong.

It takes a while to get on an even keel again and you have work hard to build up a sense of self worth again and forgive yourself for the things you think you got wrong.

Better to have a slightly bigger ego than a smaller one in my opinion, very large or too small leads to problems.

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/girlpower.gif)

What i meant is punching someone who punched you first.
Or avoiding someone who would like to punch you. Perhaps punching you makes him happy, Am i being selfish when i avoid being punched?

Ok then, I can see how my stance might be construed that way.
No, I don't endorse sadistic pleasures at someone else's expense. Avoiding being punched isn't arrogant. And punching someone back is kind of stupid (revenge never really works unless you're thorough).

We would probably choose a more effective way of dealing with aggression if we had a good self esteem than to lash out though.

Same goes for those without a self-esteem scale. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)

Haven't really thought about this much but will open my big mouth and get in trouble anyways. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)

the left hand path (satanists etc) goes to enlarge the ego to such a size that it takes over and gets you 1 with god (i may be totally off since i never really read anything about it but just heard some stuff here and there...)

and the right hand path is to basically remove the ego which will probably mean that, well, you won't exist anymore (human body hogger! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/harp.gif) ) and that will get you 1 with god.

Ofcourse we are allready 1 with god, i mean more in the sense that.. well, to put it like some silly witch series on tv, to get 'one with the source', only.. here it's a good thing. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/yahoo.gif) (nirvana anyone?)

(yes, im new and havent got much clue what i'm talking about, let the flaming begin! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/drugs.gif) )

I think that although the language may differ, they seem to be saying the same thing, that is, to get control of the aspects of oneself that pander to separateness, ie, imagining oneself to be better or worse than another etc since these ideas we have about ourselves are often false and get connected to a truth or reality base.

And punching someone back is kind of stupid (revenge never really works unless you're thorough).

Thats where you are wrong. If you don't punch back, the people that punched in the first place will remember that you don't punch back. result: you will get punched more often.

Punching back shows these people that you will stand up for yourself, and they will think twice about confronting you with agresiveness again.

The pacifist way only works if everybody else is also a pacifist. Otherwise it is just suicide.
Look at the story of Jesus, he did not fight back, and he got nailed to the cross as a result. Perhaps you would like to be a martyr, but its just not my cup of tea.

Here in my country, in the newspaper was a story.
A postal worker got picked on by his co workers. It was so bad for the man that he stayed home from work. In the end he killed himself because he could not take it anymore.
I would have just responed agresivley at one of my coworkes.
Perhaps you and me are beyond the law of the fittest and strongest and can simply get along, however 95% of society still runs on that ancient law, and they all bow down to it.

Meet a person with agresivenes then he will stop being agressive towards you. Perhaps the first time he will kick your ass if he is stronger. But if you can punch him just once, or give him a little fight, then he will think twice the next time, even if he won. This is just psychology.


I stand up for my friends, and for myself.
I have respect for my own life, for myself, and my position in this world. This does not mean i am selfish, it means i am not stupid.

Anyway, i have to go now,

The pacifist way only works if everybody else is also a pacifist. Otherwise it is just suicide.
Look at the story of Jesus, he did not fight back, and he got nailed to the cross as a result. Perhaps you would like to be a martyr, but its just not my cup of tea.

Ghandi managed to overthrow the mightiest empire in the world and create the worlds largest democracy, all without firing a single shot. For oppression to work requires the use of force on both sides, the oppressor and the oppressed. Once the oppressed stop using violence they break the cycle and the oppressor is defeated.

I accept that the above is somewhat of a simplification, and real world events are often more complicated, but the path of pacifism will defeat even the mightiest army on a long enough time line.