Riding On The Edge Of Death., Makes me feel a bit more alive. Options

I was in my room, and I decided to just meditate a bit. One of the things that came to my mind was a scenario to intellectualize and ruminate on for just a bit...

Imagine being in a bank. The man behind you pulls out a gun and places you in a hostage hold, demanding money or else you die. You hear it in his voice: He isn't afraid to kill you to get what he wants. The barrel of the gun is placed close to your head. You think to yourself: "This is it. This could be the end. What does this mean? It means my relatives will not be able to say hello or goodbye anymore, that they cannot say they love me so I can hear it. It means that I cannot say "I love you" back.

The revolver that the robber has in his hand clicks. He pulls back the hammer to a cocked position. One hair-length movement of his finger means the end of you. You contemplate death, and what it may be like. Is there a life after death? Will I feel anything afterwards? What would be different?

As you ponder these things, you feel a cooling, calming sensation surround you. You become at peace with the idea of death. You just don't care anymore. You don't care if you live or die. This feeling is quite different from others you have felt before, as objectivity enters your mind. You came to the world with nothing, and you will leave with nothing. Would you be truly leaving anything behind, other than your body?

A brave patron comes from behind and slams a chair across the robbers head, releasing his hold from you. You are still in a daze, and all you can do is stare calmly at the unconscious antagonist.
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I thought of this for a while, and then I checked it against other states of mind that I have studied. The only other one that I know that comes close is one that ancient Japanese combat texts and treatises comment on, one such called "Enryu." (source forgotten? Scanned it over in a library one time)

This state of mind is one that makes the following argument: "If you care about your life, you are certain to die in combat. Seek death. Embrace it. Care not for your life. Then, your superior skill becomes unimpeded by the anxiety of the possibility of losing your life, and you enter the state of mind akin to that of the kami (gods). Confront death, accept death, and you shall live."
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I brisked upon the surface of that state of mind for a bit, and I felt an undeniable sense of inner peace. It really didn't matter anymore. If someone slew me, shot me, killed me or whatever right then at that moment, I wouldn't have cared. At that point, I wasn't afraid of losing my life, losing the quality of my life, or anything, because my life didn't matter, and I was comfortable with that idea.

I snapped out of it when the phone rang, and I was brought back to the mundane mindset. Again, my mind filled with the constant back-chatter of politics, commerce, science, and my personal agenda.

I want comments on what I did with this meditation. Lots of comments. I want more input as to what it is exactly that I touched upon, what the ramifications, consequences, and results of such a state of mind are, and what such a state of mind can bring me.

"sherry sat at the computer, channeling and transcribing the thoughts of malani, her real eternal self, into words she hoped the physical world, mostly ignorant of their eternal selves, could understand - sherry took comfort in knowing that she was sherry in this life, and also malani in all her lives - malani said it was like being in the wind clan and also in the creek nation at the same time, whatever that meant - she looked through malani's eyes and saw it was just something that everybody was, this two lives at the same time, the non-physical true self skinwalking inside the physical, but it was hard to wrap your physical mind around, although thinking as her eternal self she could see it immediately - she liked communicating with her real existence, opening her mind and softening her heart to their subconscious connection, as the communion took away the fears of the temporary blip the economy was going through as controlling hands fought for dominance - malani pointed out the reaction gap between what was happening right now and the month-old consumer economy attempting to follow it, something sherry didn't even understand at all, but then she suddenly saw it through malani's eyes and knew what her real self was saying, and it was obvious and even hilarious - she as malani could also feel the enourmous amount of pushing by various forces to hold the economy back as it was, or to sway it this way or that - malani hoped that green would win over greed, but there was no sign of it happening in the physical world sherry lived in, only more and more of the same old same old, and all the civil unrest that that brought - sherry knew through malani that this was all a matter of time, and that she only needed to hold on to her true self to ride the nightmare through to its conclusion, no matter what happened in the physical world - for malani it was the long view, and the long mission - for malani, if sherry, her current incarnation, died, there would always be another, but sherry knew the fear of the physical world, the ending of her existence - and a nightmare it was to all those who lived in the physical! - sherry understood her situation well enough, and it was fine for malani to have no money or not worry about death, since she didn't have to make the mortgage to spout a fiscal policy of requiring no money at all, but sherry had to function in the physical world, so sherry had to have money - but malani was persistent, and finally sherry saw it, that this physical world isn't stable, or any more real than the glare on a night road, and malani could manipulate it - since sherry was malani, she couldn't instruct malani to give her money, but sherry could use what malani knew to make money of her own! - it was very interesting how this two-tiered structure, that was her existence, worked! - and in the bad times, when there was no money to be had or made by any method, sherry could submerge herself in malani and escape the harshness, living on forever in malani's non-dualitied and timeless eternity "

"malani looked upon the physical world through sherry's eyes - she was sherry's soul, but she now had full control since sherry had abdicated her position as primary in favor of malani - sherry was still there of course, a co-operative host for malani's control of sherry's body - for sherry this was a uniquely strange experience, as once she had found malani, and 'drew her down' into the core of her being, it was like coming home again - sherry was malani, and malani was sherry, still distinct and apart as a solid is also a gas, and maybe that was the message, that the solidified substance that was sherry, was also malani, only thickened and congealed by the physical world, and most of malani was filtered out by sherry's physical senses until she went into hypgnosis, and trance - sherry was no longer a channel or medium for malani, she had transferred her awareness to malani's level, and now the re-united sherry-malani looked out through sherry's physical eyes - perhaps this was the destiny of the blessed - did man possess a soul, or did a man's soul possess the man? - in sherry-malani's case, reuniting herself with herself had solved so many problems and answered so many questions that sherry could never have known due to her limited physical lifespan, that she was very glad that she had done this thing - every so often, when there was need, sherry would drop back down into the physical to do what needed to be done, like paying bills and other mundane chores, but then there was the glorious and blissful reuniting once again, and the completeness that came with being possessed by her own soul"

there are two parts of us, the physical and the eternal (ib and id, ka and ba, body and soul, etc)- if one accepts only the physical, one is limited to it - if one accepts their eternal soul, and allows it entrance through the opening of the conduit of the subconscious into the physical, then one is no longer limited to the physical - if the gun goes off, the physical body will die, but the eternal awareness lives on, knowing that there will always be another body as long as the land survives - acceptance of one's eternal soul means evolution, and only requires tolerance of the different (your soul is not of the earth and strange) and the disciplined removal of fear through love

malani couldn't cry, since there was no time and space where malani was, but sherry-malani mourned sherry's death



This post has been edited by esoterica: Apr 5 2009, 09:51 AM

there are two parts of us, the physical and the eternal (ib and id, ka and ba, body and soul, etc)- if one accepts only the physical, one is limited to it - if one accepts their eternal soul, and allows it entrance through the opening of the conduit of the subconscious into the physical, then one is no longer limited to the physical - if the gun goes off, the physical body will die, but the eternal awareness lives on, knowing that there will always be another body as long as the land survives - acceptance of one's eternal soul means evolution, and only requires tolerance of the different (your soul is not of the earth and strange) and the disciplined removal of fear through love

Interesting. Do you have anything more on this subject? Please expound. Perhaps I can find what it is I am looking for.

fighter pilots use a temporary 'mental tool' called (more-or-less) 'you're already dead', to accomplish the same thing - hurtling along in a very thin tin can just above the ground is not very comfortable unless you have no fear of death, and thinking in terms that you are already dead causes the view to transfer to that of the eternal soul, and the fear of death is removed through distraction

it is apparently that easy to move one's 'mental vision' temporarily over to the eternal self, but i want more, i want a permanent existence as my eternal self, this drawing down of the eternal into the physical, supplanting the physical with the eternal - our souls are eternal, and therefore have no fear of death or even of time (since there is no time or space in their existence) - it may be that we can't pull it off because the soul simply cannot exist here for long (like evoked geotia), or maybe it is existing here incarnate in us anyway and that's as far as it can go, and the most we can hope for is to eliminate the filtering of the physical

creating a ritual for invoking one's soul into one's body should be similar to invoking whatever entity into it (and probably safer), or in my case drawing down the soul should be like drawing down the moon, just not releasing it - i have done it successfully many times now but cannot hold it indefinitely so far - this is a new thing just being taught to me (by my soul-self) and hasn't been worked on yet by anyone (as far as i know) - this is uncharted territory and therefore must be explored slowly and safely

channelled instructional stories on it directly are only so far in 'sherry and malani', and it also showed up in 'joe the trucker' but only as a sub-sub-plot, not really identified or fleshed out, the distraction version in 'gibson goes to nashville' and 'uta and the blue temple' and i have lately remembered, clear as day, reading ages ago a reference to something like the temporary fighter pilot version in michael crichton's original version of his book 'the congo' (a six-million-dollar man adventure, yep, steve austin meets amy the gorilla!)

very interesting! - a new direction suddenly appears on the map! - many, many thanks for getting me to look at that map!

edit: in a very strange turn, there is no record of such a congo book by michael crichton starring 'the six-million-dollar man' steve austin, and the doctor guy from the six-milion-dollar man, and steve landing the small aircraft on the escarpment, crushing the aluminum throttle lever in his fear of not making the plane stop before the edge - the cover as i recall was all white (no name or anything) with only a arched window and a palmetto-shaped or palm-frond shaped 'leaf' in front of it and slightly down to the right (in stone? or a leaf referencing the stone squisher thing?) - even the cover causes me to squirm, thinking of the plot

This post has been edited by esoterica: Apr 6 2009, 11:20 AM

fighter pilots use a temporary 'mental tool' called (more-or-less) 'you're already dead', to accomplish the same thing - hurtling along in a very thin tin can just above the ground is not very comfortable unless you have no fear of death, and thinking in terms that you are already dead causes the view to transfer to that of the eternal soul, and the fear of death is removed through distraction

it is apparently that easy to move one's 'mental vision' temporarily over to the eternal self, but i want more, i want a permanent existence as my eternal self, this drawing down of the eternal into the physical, supplanting the physical with the eternal - our souls are eternal, and therefore have no fear of death or even of time (since there is no time or space in their existence) - it may be that we can't pull it off because the soul simply cannot exist here for long (like evoked geotia), or maybe it is existing here incarnate in us anyway and that's as far as it can go, and the most we can hope for is to eliminate the filtering of the physical

creating a ritual for invoking one's soul into one's body should be similar to invoking whatever entity into it (and probably safer), or in my case drawing down the soul should be like drawing down the moon, just not releasing it - i have done it successfully many times now but cannot hold it indefinitely so far - this is a new thing just being taught to me (by my soul-self) and hasn't been worked on yet by anyone (as far as i know) - this is uncharted territory and therefore must be explored slowly and safely

channelled instructional stories on it directly are only so far in 'sherry and malani', and it also showed up in 'joe the trucker' but only as a sub-sub-plot, not really identified or fleshed out, the distraction version in 'gibson goes to nashville' and 'uta and the blue temple' and i have lately remembered, clear as day, reading ages ago a reference to something like the temporary fighter pilot version in michael crichton's original version of his book 'the congo' (a six-million-dollar man adventure, yep, steve austin meets amy the gorilla!)

very interesting! - a new direction suddenly appears on the map! - many, many thanks for getting me to look at that map!

edit: in a very strange turn, there is no record of such a congo book by michael crichton starring 'the six-million-dollar man' steve austin, and the doctor guy from the six-milion-dollar man, and steve landing the small aircraft on the escarpment, crushing the aluminum throttle lever in his fear of not making the plane stop before the edge - the cover as i recall was all white (no name or anything) with only a arched window and a palmetto-shaped or palm-frond shaped 'leaf' in front of it and slightly down to the right (in stone? or a leaf referencing the stone squisher thing?) - even the cover causes me to squirm, thinking of the plot

(IMG:style_emoticons/default/hmm.gif) Wait, what?

The first paragraph, I got. But the rest gave me brain hurt. What are you talking about again? Invoking into one's soul? Six-million-dollar man? What? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/insane.gif)