Protecting from false friendship Options

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right place, but anyway, the problem I have concerns two ex-friends of mine. I've known them for 8 years, we were best friends, but the last two years were completely unsatisfying for me. One of them always seemed unhappy with me around and she simply sucked (IMG:style_emoticons/default/evil.gif) all the energy in me. After one hour with her I was depressed (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fie.gif) and she started to shine and be happy (IMG:style_emoticons/default/harhar1.gif) . The sadder I became, the happier she was. I never felt true friendship feelings from her and I found myself disliking her a lot, but forced to maintain the relationship because of my other friend, who was convinced that the three of us were the best friends in the world. Anyway, they did some things to me that bothered the hell out of me, I explained them what was the problem...so what? They ignored and ignored...
Finally, I decided I don't want to be their friend anymore, because they just made me feeling bad, I wrote my decision in a 'friendship grimoire' we shared and they agreed. Now, one of them continues calling me, e-mailing me and tries to convince me that I am crazy and stubborn and unhappy. I am not. I really think that the decision I took was for my own personal happiness ( I even asked the tarot and I got the answer that I am going on my way now, becoming who I'm supposed to be, eliberating me from a painfull past, and so on)
I don't hate them. I just don't them around me anymore. Their opinions about me and my choices and my behaviour and my boyfriend and , yeah, even about my breasts or my intelligence were simply mean. Always making me feel stupid and even telling me that I am stupid. I don't want them anymore, not now, not after five years from now. The problem is that one of them is kind of haunting me, an
e-mail from her makes me cry, not because I miss her, but because I want her completely out of my life. I told her that, but like always, she thinks I'm in a phase. I am 22 years old, I'm not reaching puberty or any other kind of adolescent crisis, and I know that I am capable of living my own life and taking my own decisions.
The feelings I still have when talking about them (deep sadness , which I cannot explain otherwise; it covers me and as soon as I take them out of my mind I'm smiling again), the sensation of someone just trying to mess with my mind and making me think what they want me to think...I am not sure, but from what I read, it can be named psychic attack.
Well, I want to end this. But how? What I've tried until now (ignoring them, refusing to talk about them) didn't work. I am still ready to cry for hours without any other reason but that of another mail from one of them in which she continued to tell me that I am wrong and she is wright, and that we'll be together again. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/please.gif)

It basically boils down to your own will and self worth.

This problem will go in four stages:

1) You will see there is a problem and begin to consider a resolution to it

2) You will attempt to resolve the problem and find it is not working

3) You will have a re-think to check that you have weighed up the situation correctly

4) You will gather all of the self-worth that you can muster and use your intent to push the girl away from you; you will also if necessary, lose your temper and give her the whole shower, that sadly, is what it may take to stop her in her tracks and get her to listen and 'hear' you. People often use the tool of ignoring people to make them realize their mistakes, it rarely works, they just move on and carry on making the same mistakes elsewhere.

No hard feelings, no hatred or blame, just separate her from you, because BOTH of you are suffering, you have realized that you are and she is unaware of it because she hasn't hit the growth spurt that you have.

In a year or so, it may be that you meet again and you will BOTH be glad of the separation since it will allow both of you to grow independently without her overshadowing you and having a false sense of her own self-importance and you get to feel the sunshine on your petals : )

I would go so far as to say that it is essential for your own wellbeing and personal growth to take this space.

I say all of this having watched one of my children free herself from an overpowering friend.

hi

I feel for you
Recently i have been in the same situation regarding two different friends regarding two different matters

The most recent is trying to put the blame on me totally and really cannot understand her part in the saga.
She to continues to email me (accidently yeah right) and leave missed calls.
I delete the emails and wipe the calls. This is the only thing i can do. If i contact her telling her to leave me alone i believe the fall out will be worse. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/black eye.gif)

The only thing i can see that you can do is the same.
Do not read the emails
Do not answer any calls
Any mail throw in the bin

Live your life (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
Love your boyfriend (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wub.gif)
and ignore those that want to drag you down (IMG:style_emoticons/default/8.gif)
This leaves you to move on and them to do whatever they are doing.

The only thing i can see that you can do is the same.
Do not read the emails
Do not answer any calls
Any mail throw in the bin

Checked! I've made the mistake of reading her mails, but after seeing what a mess I am after that...I have better stuff to read.
I still have the weird feeling that she is convinced I am suffering (maybe because she wrote that to me), but the funny part is that she is also convinced that my boyfriend is suffering, too...yeah, she wrote that, too. I was thinking to give her exactly what she wants and maybe spread the news that I tried to, I don't now, stuck my head in the toilet because of my sadness and misery. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/roflmao.gif)
I was wondering why some people love to think that they know everything, even the feelings of others...which are always feelings of pain ad grief, because that's what makes them happy.
Thanks for understanding and advice, guys! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)

Greetings!
What was said before as advice would be true. Walk away from this, don't think about it. By fantasizing about this you are giving the girl creedance. Remember, you have nothing more to do or say about it. Walk away......walk away...nope....walk away! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)
Besides, with all that freed up time not dealing with her issues, you can spend more time here and at our Library! (granted...that was opportunistic...)

Well, I am happier here (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)

gee-gee baby,
i feel you, and you know what, i kind of feel like that with somebody in my life but we're connected by blood, and i know somebody feels like that with me but we're connected by child.
i like the person who wants me out of their life, have to consider that there's some divine work that has to be completed first because leaving out of their life is ideal, there is always that unforseen element that has to be considered.
as for you, you're not connected to these people in any sort of way except by association.
obviously, they're selfish and unrealistic because they don't want you to leave their circle because they feel the strength of you and they're can't dare to face their own ugliness as the reason why you want to leave them.

you have done the right choice, and i would say keep diligent at what you are doing but have an open heart. sometimes, people do change when they face their own faults (which is rare) and you will know this for yourself when you hear the tone of their attitude.

but for now, be selfish and stay off the radar. if they send you an e-mail, erase it.
tell your mom and pops to say that you're not there when they call,
when they come over, tell them that you're going somewhere with your parents, and don't go where they frequent at.

Your friend was a vampire, And probably did't know it.
I met a friend got quite close realized she was a vampire half way through our friendship. Same drained feeling. Not really getting anything good from her, and all the while giving her my love and advice. Then I decided to tell her not to come back after a series of unfortunate events.
I feel better now.

Sound like both of these so called friends have insecurity issues

I dated this girl for a short time and every time after I saw her I would feel this pulling sensation. Kind of like a big vortex, or vaccume, around me. This feeling usually went away after awhile, but I noticed it everytime. Finally one of my psychic friends told me to stay away from her, that she was draining my energy. ( I didn't tell my psychic friend about the relationship either, she told me) I don't know much about the psi vampires or how they work, but my guess is she was a vampire and didn't know it. She did have some brief magickal training she told me about, but it was mostly Wiccan stuff. I know for a fact she was a "sensitive", because one time we were sitting talking and a "visitor" showed up (my psychic friend in spirit) and she could tell right away someone else was in the room and I didn't!

I'm not sure if this count's as a psi vampire or not. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/baby.gif) ???

Cheers,

Student at SAE World HQ
http://www.sae.edu
Australia

This post has been edited by benrachor: Jun 24 2006, 06:49 AM