Greeting everyone.
I wanted to introduce my self to the boards. I have been looking for one to post and talk with other practicers since rediscovering my gift in animal magi ck.
I've practiced communing to nature and letting the animal spirits guide me ever since I was a teenager.Even when I was a child I had an affinity to animals, feeling a bond with them on a level I didn't realize until I started practicing shamanism.
When I married, my now ex wife wasn't comfortable with my practices. She was very devote with her religion and saw what I was doing not only an act against her beliefs, but was fearful I would conjure up something evil someday. She never asked me to stopped but wasn't really supportive in my practice either. Eventually to appease her and I guess to stop the negative feeling I felt over it from her and most of her family, I closed off my spiritual connections. I believe this lead me down a path of anger and feeling lost. Looking back I became more distant with everyone. Even with her. Lack of "interest" in our relationship eventually lead to us divorcing.
Even after we separated, I didn't go back to my spiritual side for another three years. I was depressed, angry at any interruption to my repetitive and daily habits, any spent as much time away from everyone I possibly can.
What turned me around was when my little brother came back from a trip to Mexico. He gave me a snowglobe with a frog leaping down inside it. At first I didn't realize what meaning was. My first thoughts was, I don't like frogs and placed it somewhere in a room and didn't give it any more thought. However, in the following days I found my self drawn to it. In fact the spirits again tried to tell me what I needed when I saw three deer grazing clost to the edge of a road one night I was driving. However, it wasn't until I was talking with someone who I found out was another practicer of Magick that I realized that the frog spirit was trying to tell me something.
I took out my medicine cards and did a reading. Sure enough, the frog came up contrast in the reading. It was telling me that I need a cleansing, to heal my self, and to again start practicing my Shamanism. Deer, was telling me also to again start practicing and to stop being angry at me self and the world.
Ever since I'm been doing all I can to heal and cleanse my self of what happened to me in the past and whats going on with me now. I've started meditating and accepting what Frog is telling what to do to get back on course and my new totem guiding me.
--------------------
totem guiding me in life right now: The Frog
|