Emapathy Options

Hello everyone, I'm new to this forum and was wondering if anyone could provide insight into a question I had, but before I ask I'll preface this with an explanation. As a child I was very empathic, to the point that I could feel and take on other people's emotions and pain as my own. However, having this ability increased my emotional sensitivity to the point where it became almost unbearable. As a result I began to try and distance myself from this ability and I guess you could say I tried to shut it down. After a while I was unable to feel peoples emotions like I did before and I was content with that. But soon afterward I lost the ability to read/sense people's emotions entirely, or so I thought for several years. This brings me back to the present. During the past three to four years I've been experiencing periods where I'll be able to feel other people's emotions just like I did when I was younger, but it only last for a day at the most before disappearing. I've been looking around the forums and from what I gather, most people say it's very hard if not impossible to regain an ability like this once it's lost. However, I feel that if these resurgences keep on occurring then I haven't lost this ability per se, but perhaps I have repressed it to the point that I can't willfully control it? Therefore I was wondering if it would be possible for me to regain my control over my empathic abilities, and start to develop them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated, and thank you for taking the time to read this. Also, please forgive me if this is in the wrong place. I was unsure of where to put it and this seemed like the best spot.

This post has been edited by Pyre: Jun 3 2010, 08:07 PM

Hey~

I know a lot of people who've experienced that. Many of them did end up repressing, and one person with my help destroyed theirs, and in a way, it made their lives much less painful.

Empathy is really similar to any other part of your body. Once it atrophies, it loses its ability, but at the same time it does this really peculiar thing where it'll build up and burst or sometimes leak into the forefront. When you shut down empathy, it took away a lot of painful things. Figure out exactly what those things are, because if you want to retrieve the abilities, you need to first resolve the aspects which you sealed away.

Uncontrolled empathy is certainly more trouble than it's worth. So I completely understand why you might want to repress it or shut it down. But then again, getting rid of a sense is like plucking your eye out because you usually see unpleasant things. *Not* having a sense which you used to have can feel just as disturbing as the unwanted effects of uncontrolled empathy.

I can remember a period of time about 5 years ago, when I was spiritually 'damaged'. One of the side effects of this is that my sense of empathy, energy, etc. were all totally gone for a while. Honestly, it felt horrible... it was like I was viewing the world on an old black & white tv, no color, no HD, no dolby. Of course i could see colors, in the literal sense, but everything was very plain and lifeless, and empty and 1 dimensional. It only took me a week or two to recuperate, but it felt like an eternity. I really disliked not feeling everything, it felt kinda 'dead'. I remember describing to my boyfriend at the time, in greater detail, exactly what I was missing. He replied that he always felt that way, which made me feel a deep sympathy/pity for him, and most other 'muggles'. He felt this sentiment was elitist.

Kaboom's post seems like good advice to me.
But I often have pretty good luck approaching things in a more 'mechanical' way (though I do love psychology). If I were you, I would sit and meditate for a short time, just to accentuate your level of focus. Then I would try to remember the last time you felt empathy strongly. Remember it as vividly as you can. Try to remember smells, sounds, sights, etc. and try to remember how the empathy 'felt', every nuance of it. Then I would meditate a while again to recenter your focus. And then repeat the exercise thinking of the time before last. And so on. I would do this semi-regularly. The goal would be to make the sensation of experiencing empathy very clear and fresh and vivid in your memories. Try to recapture something above & beyond the specific empathic sensations of past events, going past that to the specific sensation of 'feeling' empathy itself. That added layer of depth and color in the the way the world around you feels.

It is not impossible, not at all. You absolutely can regain this sense. And when you try to do so, try from the mentality that "you are going to do it". not the mentality that you're trying with little hope of success. Make it a 'gung ho' forceful frame of mind, not timid, not unsure, not wishy washy. Hone your Will into a force for change, and let that creep onto your face in the form of a subtle grin directed at your obstacle.

On a side note, I see that you are 19 and male. Would I be correct in assuming your ability seemed to go away sometime between the ages of 12 and 15? If so, the reason it went away may not be psychological, it could be endocrinological. That puberty can have effects on psychic ability is well documented. Do not feel as though you are at the mercy of hormones though. You can regain this sense even if your body might make it a bit of an uphill climb.

This post has been edited by Kath: Jun 4 2010, 01:12 AM

I disagree that an ability can be lost.
You're just repressing it and need to find out what is blocking it.

Kath gave great advice and I agree with her... meditate and try to find the root of the problem,internally.

I'm an empath too, I feel people ever since I was a kid and at a point in my life I decided to block it , and to shield myself from the world that's overwhelming me. Then I noticed that I'm shielding a lot of interesting experiences, empathy is in our nature and it grows with time.
Now, I don't have to shield anymore, I can process incoming emotions and know that they are separate from mine, which is really important in order not to go insane hehe.

Now, I don't have to shield anymore, I can process incoming emotions and know that they are separate from mine, which is really important in order not to go insane hehe.

ahh *nod* I had meant to mention something along those lines too but forgot (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)


once you get empathy back, the goal is to learn to 'control' it, so that you don't suffer some of the negative side effects of uncontrolled empathy.
Usually that falls into two basic methods, one is shielding, which simply blocks it and is easiest to begin with.
And the other is learning to differentiate between internal and external emotive energies, and exercise some conscious control over whether there will be interaction between the two. (this takes much longer to develop, but it's worth it, as it is superior to shielding)

Hmmm this sounds like me in a way i am a psi vampyre and when i would feed off of people's energy and feel there emotions so you might want to look into that. Good Luck and that was just a suggestion though...

Thank you for all your advice everyone. I'll be sure to try out the methods that everyone has taken the time to post here, and if anyone else has anymore advice please feel free to give it.

Hmmm this sounds like me in a way i am a psi vampyre and when i would feed off of people's energy and feel there emotions so you might want to look into that. Good Luck and that was just a suggestion though...

ah yes, it is actually quite difficult to tap someone's energy without experiencing empathy as a side effect.
that's another way you might try to "get a feel for it" again. although I would not recommend frequently draining others if you do not actually need the energy.

This isn't directed to anyone in particular, but those who have already replied please feel free to do so again. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to better control which emotions you experience when dealing with empathy. I think one of the major blocks I have is that I'm afraid it will be like before and that I'll be unable to control the flow of emotions that I'll feel. I think this might be one of the problems Kath mentioned earlier so I figured if I got it out the way I'd have a better time regaining/retraining my ability.

However, I feel that if these resurgences keep on occurring then I haven't lost this ability per se, but perhaps I have repressed it to the point that I can't willfully control it? Therefore I was wondering if it would be possible for me to regain my control over my empathic abilities, and start to develop them?

You may have just repressed them to the point where it happens all the time but your conscious mind refuses to acknowledge it until something extremely potent happens. That said, as I mentioned while talking to you earlier you may just have bottled the ability up and lost your corkscrew. If you want I can try using my empathy and telepathy to locate it in your mind, or I can try hypnotherapy to get YOU to locate it the next time I see you. I can also teach you how to use it - I routinely use mine to check in on people I want to know about. It can get a little annoying at times, but I'll teach you how to shut it off. I'm an amateur hypnotist, but I've kept my friend from committing suicide through the first method, so it's reliable.

I don't feel that necessarily controlling the emotions that come out is the right approach. I don't know what you went through, but often therapists can help a lot with being able to control the outcome of how these emotions make you react (ie binge drinking or becoming physically violent to express rage.) If you think the emotions might consume you, I'd advise you find a guide, behavioral counselors/psychotherapists help a lot. I think its a common misconception that they immediately think that any energy users are in some way mentally disturbed for that.

I think ideally you don't so much control which emotions you 'feel' via empathy. But you control whether (and how) it will affect you internally.

it's possible to have very strong empathy well before you develop a sense of self and a sense for what is internal and what is external. That's what really makes empathy suck when it's running amok. If you can differentiate external emotive energies as being external, you can perceive them clearly, but choose how that will effect you. For example, if you've ever been around someone who was sad, and instead of sinking into their misery, you make a conscious decision to be stronger, and be a shoulder to cry on, or to try to cheer that person up. That's the basic idea, you feel it, externally, but have self control over what's going on internally. Extrapolate that to a much broader scale, and a much greater intensity... and you'll be able to quietly and calmly be in the presence of extreme emotions without flinching or feeling those emotions internally. In an example of a more extreme case such as this, you could have someone who is absolutely furious with you, ragefull, and if you impassively listen to the person, and fail to react in kind with either hostility or fear, then you've got a pretty good handle on it. In such a situation the angry person will likely be actively trying to instill an emotional response. So it's a fairly good test of whether you've really got empathy under control. This, incidentally, has a mild 'charm' side effect, as being essentially unshakable and self assured are traits which most people look up to.

anyway, then you can feel (perceive), without it uncontrollably affecting how you feel (internal emotions). You can of course allow yourself to be moved by another person's emotions... it's just no longer an uncontrollable reflex.

until getting pretty good with that, shielding is a very valid option though.

You may have just repressed them to the point where it happens all the time but your conscious mind refuses to acknowledge it until something extremely potent happens.

ya, that too (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)