QUOTE(gift22 @ May 8 2008, 12:08 PM)
i get this feeling everyday at about 5. It is this feeling of a huge amount of joy, awe and pureness, but then this feelng of anxiety is also aorused by these feelings.
It is the differential between the spiritual and material consciousness. The spiritual consciousness is beyond the ego, and sees all of existence as it is supposed to be, and when we are in contact with it, even briefly, we feel what you describe, and then some, I suppose depending on the depth of that connection - which grows over time, as well as lasting longer. The feelings of anxiety are the ego's response, based on a number of things - for one, it's a brief experience of 'beyond the ego'; while the ego is certain that there is nothing beyond itself. Secondly there is the stark contrast between the Spiritual and Material experience - the spiritual experience is joy, peace, understanding, tranquility; the material experience is suffering, wrongness, struggle, and unrest. When we are faced with a moment of clarity - and I say faced because it can be as much a trial as a blessing - we know for a moment, even if it is not a conscious understanding, that stuck in material consciousness we cannot fully embrace that spiritual moment for very long, and it must be transient unless we immediately sacrifice our ego. Which, can be done in those moments, but that is not to suggest it is any mean task, and it must be done by not-doing, not by doing. You cannot will it to happen. That knowledge, which is already present in the spiritual consciousness, upsets the ego greatly, and it immediately moves to quell those feelings by reminding you of the 'reality' of the world (as it knows it).
Next time it happens try this. Stop thinking, stop feeling, simply sit, whatever you are doing, and be in that sensation. It will still be replaced, and honestly it may be worse at first, but it will help the experience to last longer each time. Also maybe look into the timing of the feeling whatever way you can. If you want to take a look at astrological factors, you might look for a program call AstroClick - you can move the timing backwards and forwards by hours, minutes, and days, and look for any correlations. Another thing you might consider is googling something called "Jacob's Wheel", and reading the site you find on that. It's an interesting take on the 231 gates of the Sefer Yetzirah as a guide to the cyclical nature of incarnation. Whenever you have a regularly occuring experience, it is a good idea to both accept it as it is, experience it, be it without condition; but also approach it rationally and try to understand it, as these can be incredible learning experiences both 'academically' and in the sense of understanding how you work and why. Consider your thoughts around that time, both what you are thinking and the quality of thought in general, and the events in your life that might have taken place around the first time it happened.
peace